Career changing man - very despondent :-(

ostrichnomore_2

Hi
I'm trying to help a friend at the moment who is trying to find a new career/job. He has always worked in one industry since he was 16 (old fashioned long trade apprenticeship etc) and in the past it was a well-paid and highly sought after job. But now...becoming increasingly obsolete, few jobs advertised, money is now very poor, many firms closed down, many people having to give up and move on to something else. His hours have been cut drastically as there is simply not enough work now. He needs to find a new job and realistically it's unlikely to be in the same field.

He's getting really depressed. He's 52 and his relatives keep helpfully telling him he's too old to change jobs now and he'll never get anything, and no matter how much I tell him otherwise, he deep down believes this as well. He is highly skilled but only in that one technical area and the skills are not on the whole transferable, other than general ones of ordering stock, dealing with customers etc. He has very poor computer skills and refuses to go on any courses to update these as he just moans about computers taking over the world and that's why his job has become obsolete!

I've helped him with CVs and in doing some applications, but he just seems to have given up. He never hears back from any that he has applied for, and that's just making him more depressed and feeling that it isn't worth bothering.

Anyone with any advice? Suggestions for work he could apply for? He needs a combination of a kick up the !!!! and support, which I am trying to give. But when someone is just convinced they don't have a chance, what can you do? Any positive stories I can pass on to him would be great...

saintjammyswine

He will have a vast number of transferable skills which will be of use to many employers when combined with experience. National Careers Service are very good in this situation to help identify those skills. They have someone on these boards who may be able to help, I am sure they will be along soon.

National_Careers_Service

Hi ostrichnomore,

I’m really sorry to read about the tough time your friend has been going through. It’s great though to hear though that he has got some support around him.

It does sound like he’s feeling pretty stuck and not very optimistic about his future at the moment. There has been a steady change in industry within the UK and there are a lot of people out there who feel similar. Some people can feel pretty resistant to the change that’s happening around them. It can be hard to accept it or they might not feel confident about evolving to keep up with it. They might end up feeling as though they’ve been ‘left behind’. I suppose, one way of looking at it can be that some people experience feelings similar to grief when change occurs.

There is a pretty well defined cycle that people can go through when experiencing grief or going through change. It might be useful for him to know about this. There are five stages of the cycle:

1. Denial (Denial is a refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc., relating to the situation. It's a defence mechanism and perfectly natural. Some people can become locked in this stage when dealing with change)
2. Anger (Anger can show in different ways. People dealing with loss can be angry with themselves, and/or with others or other factors.)
3. Bargaining (The bargaining stage can involve attempting to bargain with whoever or whatever to try to keep their current situation the same. For your friend, this might have involved trying to find ways to remain within his current/previous trade and resist change)
4. Depression (It's natural to feel sadness and regret, fear, uncertainty, etc. It shows that the person has at least begun to accept the reality of the situation)
5. Acceptance (this stage varies according to the person's situation, although it is a sign that there is some acceptance of the reality of their situation.)

Does this help you both to better understand his feelings surrounding his situation?

Looking at his situation more closely, I wonder if his reluctance to learn more about, what has become his nemesis – computers, might be holding him back at all. Not all roles require computer skills for the job. However, I do wonder if, by not working on his confidence where computers are concerned, he might be limiting his options to some extent. An example is when it comes to finding out about job opportunities and applying online. Increasingly, more and more companies are using the internet to recruit. I understand his initial fear and resistance, however, I wonder if he has looked into possible options at all? For example, Age UK offer computer training through their local branches to teach older people net-surfing skills.

He is most definitely not too old to re-train. It does sound though as if he’s feeling like he has little control over his future. After having worked for many years within the same trade, it’s understandable that being open to, and adapting to, change might not come easily to him at first. It’s important to note though that the people who tend to be most successful in times of change are those who feel open to adapting to the reality of the changing job market. If he’s feeling like this, it could well be about his lack of self-confidence and confidence in his skills and what he has to offer other employers. It sounds like he does actually have a lot of skills to offer, perhaps it’s just about him identifying them and feeling more confident about understanding how employers could benefit from these?

Being a bit more proactive in finding out about opportunities might also make him feel more in control of his own destiny. These websites aimed at people over 50 will hopefully provide some inspiration by helping him to find out more about what other people have done in his situation:

www.50plusworks.com
Prime - supports people over 50 who want to start their own business
Saga - advice about working and setting up an enterprise in the ‘Making Money’ section of their website.


Are you able to help him access the websites or print of information off for him to read?

Hopefully with some further support and with a bit of inspiration, he will begin to feel more positive about the future and become more open to making changes which could help him move towards a successful career in the future.

All the best to you and your friend!

Emma

ostrichnomore_2

Thank you, that is very helpful.

Takeaway_Addict

Not really much help but 52 is no age, in the current climate he has 18 years worth of employment left in him minimum.

2-3 years of part time training whilst his current job dwindles and when it goes or when he is ready he will be prepared.

And I would always suggest....he should do something he enjoys regardless of how much it pays.

PlutoinCapricorn

The charity world is full of people of that age - and much older.