Im sinking - financially and mentally

MsKex

Thank you

Bank account fee. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.50 do you really need this bank account? Over the year this will cost you 78 pounds
Thanks - its just the insurance cover the bank charges for lost cards/phone/passport etc.

(tend to do a £80 big shop at Aldi then £25pw for bread/milk/fruit/veg - child pack lunches) This can come down - have a look at the Oldstyle board, look for coupons, try for freebies etc
Will do - thanks
Drinks for home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00 (£5 bottle of wine at the weekend) won' begrudge you a treat!
Phew! The thought of this on a saturday night in gets me through the week!

Pet food. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00 (1 cat, inc in food shop)look for& stock up when on offer when on offer - our two like the dry stuff so try to stock up & use over the leaner months
Will do

Children's travel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25.00 (not pay yet but next month he turns 5 so will have to pay bus fare to school) Will he be able to get free school travel?
What is free school travel? Im going to google it now - never heard of it.

Pet insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00Ideally you should be saving a wee something when you can to cover yearly check-ups, flea/worming treatments and for more serious things. We don't have insurance but have a pot of money for them - it's there for when we need it but if we don't, we still have it
I really should I know - the cat cost £60 a few months ago due to an illness he had, that should have been the kick up the bum for me then.

Son's School Fund . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.00 What's this used for? if paid to the school - what do they use it for? Is this necessary?
Parents are asked to give their class £1 per week for "early learning fund" - its a church school so they need donations to help towards paying for resources.

Family days out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00 (odd days out or save up for a trip) Do research - free days out, cheaper cinema tickets, vouchers, team up with your friend who has a kid - picnics, days at the park - could also be good for support for you being with another mum!
Actually started doing this with that free cinema tickets on £1 bag of sweets although its not doing weightwatchers much good!

dreamdreamer

Well done on the first big step, admitting there's a problem!! And before it's really bad, you're steps ahead of many (including me at my worst) and have saved yourself a lot of heartache further down the line.

You've had a lot of good advice and I can't add much.

Just a quick thought with regards to childcare - have you considered "trading" childcare days with other mums over the holidays, particularly those that work nights or weekends if you are 9-5? Ie. they have your child on a Tuesday and you have theirs on a Saturday/Overnight. I work in a shift work job and a LOT of mums do this to minimize childcare costs.

Keep coming here, keep motivated. You're obviously a strong person and you WILL rid yourself of these debts.

Dreamer xx

Missmarple

£27 on boiler care. I don't know anyone who has this, some people may say this is essential but I don't. Can't you put the £27 aside each month and after a year you will have £324 to repair it if it goes wrong. Ask your parents to hold the money for you just in case you are tempted to dip in it. I just couldn't bring myself to pay £324 a year for something I may not use and wouldn't cost the earth if it went wrong. Unless your boiler is particularly unreliable I wouldn't bother. Eeek £648 after two years £974 after 3 years.
Just a thought but it really mounts up.
My son has this £11 a month phone, if you sign up for 12 months its even less.
https://www.o2.co.uk/shop/simplicity?cm_mmc=googleuk-_-simplicity-_-Simplicity%20-%20Sim%20Only%20-%20O2%20-%20(DT)-_-Simplicity%20-%20Sim%20Only%20-%20Pure%20-%20Exact%20o2%20sim%20only%20Exact&gclid=COfIyq6IobgCFY_KtAodmAkAiA

Worth a look.

Missmarple

I know this is hard but you must address the present situation. Take a deep breath and tell you family and friends that you can't afford to do it and to please not get you anything or you will feel awful about it. If they go ahead than it's up to them. You say your friends don't have children so they should be understanding of your situation, a single mum trying to make both ends meet. It could be them one day. That said I don't think it is really easy for anyone. Suggest a really good special xmas night in to celebrate the occasion and EVERYONE brings something to drink and eat. This should soften the blow by offering something else.
Children have that much stuff at Christmas would nieces and nephews really notice if you haven't got them a present ? Your son comes first, use Grabbit on here and search it every day for bargains for him for xmas. He is only 5 he wont know you got the lego at a 3rd of the price if you start now. Make a decision of how much you are going to spend on him and stick to it. This is exciting when you tell yourself that you will not pay full price for anything, it is so much fun when you get a great deal. Get stuck into these boards, everything is on here.
PS PlusNet have some good broadband offers on at the moment. Don't forget to use Quidco and Topcash (cashback websites).

MsKex

Missmarple wrote: »

I know this is hard but you must address the present situation. Take a deep breath and tell you family and friends that you can't afford to do it and to please not get you anything or you will feel awful about it. If they go ahead than it's up to them. You say your friends don't have children so they should be understanding of your situation, a single mum trying to make both ends meet. It could be them one day. That said I don't think it is really easy for anyone. Suggest a really good special xmas night in to celebrate the occasion and EVERYONE brings something to drink and eat. This should soften the blow by offering something else.
Children have that much stuff at Christmas would nieces and nephews really notice if you haven't got them a present ? Your son comes first, use Grabbit on here and search it every day for bargains for him for xmas. He is only 5 he wont know you got the lego at a 3rd of the price if you start now. Make a decision of how much you are going to spend on him and stick to it. This is exciting when you tell yourself that you will not pay full price for anything, it is so much fun when you get a great deal. Get stuck into these boards, everything is on here.
PS PlusNet have some good broadband offers on at the moment. Don't forget to use Quidco and Topcash (cashback websites).

Thanks for your ideas/advice - I have wrote a christmas budget and I am going to try and cut it down to £100. Im going to make sure I come on this website every day to keep me in line and focused.

clippy_girl

hello, just a couple of ideas-

re boiler cover- i am with british gas and pay £14 per month. they put it up to £21 pm so now i pay a £50 excess per call out to get it down to £14pm. even if i call them out twice per year and so pay extra £100 its still cheaper. i wouldnt cancel this now as been paying it for a year and my boiler is old. once it needs replaced though i prob wont bother and will do as other poster suggested and save money each month that i would have paid to use for any repairs needed. if yours is newish maybe would be worth doing that instead?

re phone- if you have been on same plan for 3 years unlikely you will be in contract so if you keep your current phone you could get a sim only deal for around £10pm per less. have a look at giff gaff if o2 wont do a deal.

re bank acc fee- unlikely you would need to switch your account, you can just ask them to downgrade you to free one. all details stay the same so no need to change dd's etc... if you are not going to be going on holiday then you dont need passport cover (travel ins would cover anyway), if your phone is 3 years old not worth insuring anyway. re card ins you dont need it, just make sure you only carry cards around that you use and know whats in your purse in case anything happens and you can then easily cancel them

good luck

zenshi

Google Freesat and there comes up Freesat and free view.

I have Freesat using the box I already had and just bought a card. I can't seem to find the price of the card only, just the whole system which includes box, dish etc. as you will already have these I would suggest ringing Sky and asking them direct

Also, if not already, sign up to Freecycle. It's surprising what you can pick up there. Even school uniform for your boy and that would save heaps

sharp82

With Sky, call them up and tell them that a Virgin representative has just knocked your door, and offered the same package as you have with sky for £25, and if they can match the offer you will stay.

I did this, and now get line rental, calls, broadband and TV (including sports and the kids tv channels for £23 a month!

Their line rental costs £14.50 a month, so am getting the rest for £8.50

MsKex

Wow guys - can I just say, thank you so very much. My son is off ill today from school so I have spent the past 2 hours phoning various companies/doing an account spreadsheet and I have managed to save myself a whopping £71.93 so far! :j

O2 -was £33/have signed up for a new contract for £24 = £9 saved
SKY - was £58 - thank you for all of your suggestions on this and freeview. I did what Sharp suggested and the man I was speaking to offered me my landline/unlimited broadband and basic SKY package (inc the childrens cartoons) for £31 per month = £27 saved
Council tax - was £71/have asked for a 12 month payment plan instead of ten so has reduced to £53 per month = £18 saved
Bank charge - was £6.50/cancelled entirely = £6.50 saved
Home Serve - was £27/told them I was leaving and they offered me a discount and is reduced to £16.57 for all emergency cover inc boiler = £11.43 saved.

I feel really uplifted and I cant believe how simple it was to just ring people and say im paying too much, reduce it.
Unfortunately the gas of £75 cannot be reduced as found out im £166 in debit, she said I should actually up my payments - and I dont qualify for free school travel. I suppose I cant win them all!

socmwils23

i was just going to ask how many minutes/texts and data did you use per month. There are some great deals out there right now and if you didnt take a new phone from o2 id say that is still a little expensive.

Check back on your bills and see how many minutes etc you need and then let us know. You may still be able to change your mind on the o2 deal if it will save you money. An example is virgin do an unlimited minutes, unlimited texts and unlimited data for £15p/m.

with regards gas what do you use it for? For example we are a family of 4 in a 3 bed house. We use gas for heating and hot water. Our gas direct debit is £38 p/m. We do this by having it on a timer and adopting a jumper before heating policy in the winter. The kids love to say how cold they are when running around in just underwear.