little update...

lynsayjane

hi guys, I'm back. ok I know I've only been offline for a few days but it feels like I've been away for ages. Recently I've been letting everything get on top of me and not reacting very well to problems that have been arising.

Today I phoned in sick to work, it's the first time in years and being honest I'm feeling REALLY guilty about it. I've been there nine months now and never even been late never mind off sick and I am, honestly, but I hate letting them down, they're short staffed and there is noone to cover. But they've never bothered about leaving me in the cr*p while everyone else is off so why should I care?

Anyway like I said I've been letting things get on top of me and it's leaving me feeling depressed and useless which is why I said on my diary that I'd be taking some time out but doing nothing much but sleep the past few days has given me time to think and I'm realising that playing to my feelings and allowing myself to become more depressed is not a good thing. I need to take control and pick myself back up. I've no idea where to start right now but I guess making that decision is a good thing.

I'm sorry for rambling on here and please feel free to ignore it completely but I'm trying to get my head sorted and find a way forward rather than the limbo i've been in for months now really. I think I need some help with motivation and maybe ideas for what to concentrate on now.

hypno06

Hi LJ, sorry to read that you are down in the dumps.

The boards are quiet at the mo, too many people having :eek: a life :eek: but I am sure you will get some motivation from those who are still around!

Look after yourself, and don't feel guilty about that day off xx

Sea78

Massive hugs lyns - I can completely relate to that limbo. Is there anything ew can do to help? You're always so helpful to others and I look out for your updates as you make me laugh with your stories about different things that have happened. Perhaps your body is just in need of a really good rest. I don't think you should feel guilty about missing work - you put in a huge effort and hours for them and you need your own space to refuel as well.

Sea xxxx

MinnieSpender

Oh dear.

LJ - it's awful that you're feeling so low at the moment. Do you think it's the past few months catching up with you? You've had a lot on and perhaps it is time to slow down and take stock.

Can you book a few days off work and just have a bit of "me" time? You won't find motivation if it's all getting on top of you. You need to get back on a level first.

Have you been to the doc again recently? Am I right in thinking you have thyroid problems (I'm sure you've mentioned this)? Depression sometimes goes with that and it might be that there is a physical cause for you feeling so bad.

Sorry - too many questions here and I don't want to bombard you. But do consider having a good rest.

cazziebo

(((Lynsayjane))))


Don't feel guilty about phoning in sick, but use the time to take some positive action. (And if you're feeling better, you'll be a much better employee when you go back) Spoil yourself - I always found that lazing around just makes me lethargic so go for a nice walk or visit a pal (someone who'll inspire you, not own who'll drain you!) Depression is a horrible engulfing illness - you have to treat it in a way that helps you...

And then work out how to get back in control. Visualise what it will be like to be back on top of things again - and take one small step towards achieving it. Then you're back on track again.

It is so hard to keep going - I know. When I've been finding things really tough (more recently than before, which is odd as a year ago my finances and life was a mess!) kind people on here have given me that little nudge or smile that's kept me sane.

Thinking of you

Cazzie
x

lynsayjane

thanks guys. reading that back I feel really silly rambling on. Some people have much bigger problems than me, but sometimes your own problems, however small, feel like a dead weight and being honest it's the bearing it alone that makes it hardest right now. I'm tired of being strong by myself, I'd give anything for someone else to carry me for a bit. Been trying to convince my mum to come visit for the weekend to look after me...

sea I think what we need is a regular positive thread. I noticed that hypno (hiya hunny x) started putting 'be positive' in her little things thread but maybe we need something bigger and more prominent to help everyone feel more positive. There are so many faces missing from these boards recently and I fear many of them are having hard times, maybe a positive daily thread would help???

Storm

Hi Lyns,
Sorry to hear you're having a bad time at the moment - it's not surprising you're knackered and fed up if you're constantly understaffed at work, there's a 'perfect' level of busyness I think, and too long over or under takes its toll. Have you got any leave you could take? Maybe just a long weekend going to visit friends or family might help?

As for what to concentrate on, how about yourself for a while? Take a week off from trying to make overpayments on debts, helping others out etc & think about doing the things that make you happiest - whether it's going for a long walk, having a night with a bottle of wine & DVDs, going out dancing etc.

If you are feeling really depressed though, please go to your doctor - I was having an awful time in March with a manic workload & no time or energy for myself and I went to my GP - i didn't want to go on anti-depressants, but just having her acknowledge that it was a real medical condition, and that there were lots of options for me helped enormously. I'm currently going to see her about once a month, just to keep an eye on how I'm feeling and if there's any change, and it's great as I don't have to pretend with her (she's put me on the list for a shrink, but it takes about a year :rolleyes:) and in the meantime she's keeping an eye on me.

Keep posting, and talk to your friends & family too - it's amazing what having someone making sure they phone every day just to check how you're feeling can do for feeling loved and supported

Storm x

hypno06

You are right LJ, it is easy saying "I will be positive" but often much harder actually being able to put it into being.

But please don't feel silly for rambling on - a problem is a problem, matters not whether it is big or small. Small problems if left to their own devices can turn into bigger ones, so they are just as important to deal with as the bloody great huge problems that some have in their life.

We need a "positive" challenge - any ideas anyone - I am certainly up for it, my energy is waning and I am terrified that if I give in to my lethargy I will undo all the progress debt wise that I have made so far this year.

In the meantime to add to the positive vibe, someone posted a load of jokes on a thread that I was reading earlier, think it was on OnedayIwill's diary - look it up and have some laughter therapy :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Storm

Oops, double post!

lynsayjane

MinnieSpender wrote: »

Oh dear.

LJ - it's awful that you're feeling so low at the moment. Do you think it's the past few months catching up with you? You've had a lot on and perhaps it is time to slow down and take stock.

Can you book a few days off work and just have a bit of "me" time? You won't find motivation if it's all getting on top of you. You need to get back on a level first.

Have you been to the doc again recently? Am I right in thinking you have thyroid problems (I'm sure you've mentioned this)? Depression sometimes goes with that and it might be that there is a physical cause for you feeling so bad.

Sorry - too many questions here and I don't want to bombard you. But do consider having a good rest.

hiya sweetie, very very glad to see you back on here xxx

I do have a thyroid problem and I just so happen to have an appointment with the docs tomo to get the results of the blood tests I got just over a week ago. They did a huge variety of tests including to check if I have any internal infection so fingers crossed I'm either perfectly healthy and just a little down or there is something wrong and we can get it fixed.

I'm not sure if it's just the past few months catching up or not but hopefully a few things are getting finished this week. Tuesday is supposed to be my last day at college and I've got two essays to do for it :eek: oddly enough being sick has really helped with that :rolleyes: am gonna try and get at least one finished today now I'm feeling a little better.

I think a few days off work might be a really good thing. I've been promising a friend to visit her in edinburgh since she moved there a few months ago so maybe I should sort that sooner rather than later.

lynsayjane

hypno06 wrote: »

We need a "positive" challenge

hypno I think you just did it yourself!!! what about if we start a thread with a positive challenge. Each day we have to do one thing in a positive manner, maybe a phonecall we've been meaning to make or a job inthe house we've been meaning to do. Is daily too frequent??? It doesn't necesarily have to be debt related, I think having a positive mental attitude will help with that anyway.

who's up for it???