Think I've totally messed up :(

moneysaymoneydo

Let me get this straight the one weekend you were away he fell asleep night 1, he swigged tea in between (the obvious) on night 2 and then gave up on night 3???? oh you are so well clear - he has lost a gem in you you sound lovely.

He may be nice and kind and im sure he does take care of his family and friends but sorry that aint no way way to treat a lady!

justme111

Part ? It sounds like a very spare part to me , when you are not welcome overnight at your mans house while his friends male and female stay there , a man who does not value your solo time and just barely includes you with others , a man who does not understand they are HIS friends and not yours - no thank you.
Just the fact that you are making the first move usually would be a big no gunk you to me.

justme111

Just read what you written about weekend away - what a gem ! Please do not settle for being with someone who does not want you , does not value you - it is soul destroying , better alone. If you did not want him either than you could be a match lol but as things stand your idea about relationship is different to yours , no wonder his wife dropped him

toffee'n'tom

trevorsminted wrote: »

Off subject Toffee but well done seeing your kids to Uni after a divorce, and you sound as though you put them first you are a credit to your children.

I think its his loss which he may see somewhere down the line, you were willing to sacrifice a lot more than it sounds he was, have you considered once the kids have left home moving to Perthshire and living with a non cricket, non cleaning his mums house Scottish man who loves a woman to be his rock 24/7 :rotfl:

Seriously you sound so nice, one day your prince is going to snap you up!

Tbh Trevors minted, I think I've fallen for you hook line and sinker. I'm not good at going North (preferring the sun) but I think I'd make an exception

ERICS_MUM

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

Ex's some can stay friends with them, their families and mutual friends, nothing wrong with that.

You don't seem that needy. He just sounds like he's not that into you really.

Yes you should have independent lives, but this is the phase where you should be most "into" each other....he doesn't seem fussed. Well rid.

my view too. I would expect any man at your stage in a relationship to miss me like mad when apart. I don't mean to the point where he drops his other interests and relationships but I would expect him to "integrate" me more into his social circle.

Sorry but personally I don't see this going forward as you would like and maybe this is a good thing in the long run.

Richard53

He's not worthy of you. Move on. And you don't need to be polite about it, either.

You seem to be way down his list of priorities, and no-one deserves that, especially someone who sounds as nice and kind as you do. He sounds like an extremely dull man, who is more interested in friends and family than a hot weekend with a (relatively) new partner. A cup of tea instead of sex? Come on ... maybe after your golden wedding, perhaps.

The guy is dull, family-fixated, sexless, and emotionally illiterate. There are far better guys out there. You're only 48! Get on with your life and find someone who treats you properly. We are out there, you know

justme111

So , when you told him you were unhappy he was mad ? Wonderful reaction. (sarcasm). He should been a history just because of that . I can imagine how it is for you after 6 years non dating , you just don't believe there is life out there bwvause you have not experienced it ... So you feel like a failure because your first relationship did not work. Take it as a learning curve , you are funding what works for you and what doesn't. xx

trevorsminted

Glad I have managed to distract you from your problems I do so wish I could meet you and take you out you sound wonderful and to whom I could gel and have a nice time with and (I hope) not have make a brew whilst I am in the throes of showing you how much I appreciate you,

What about boules I think we could equally play that in our back garden whilst sharing a nice bottle of white whilst the grandkids play in the garden, or at least whilst I mow the lawn and you see to the Rhodedendrons!

aggypanthus

trevorsminted wrote: »

Glad I have managed to distract you from your problems I do so wish I could meet you and take you out you sound wonderful and to whom I could gel and have a nice time with and (I hope) not have make a brew whilst I am in the throes of showing you how much I appreciate you,

What about boules I think we could equally play that in our back garden whilst sharing a nice bottle of white whilst the grandkids play in the garden, or at least whilst I mow the lawn and you see to the Rhodedendrons!

:rotfl:

Want me to back you up? Perthshire is so lovely :T

spiritsfree

Toffee....You deserve, and I`m sure will get, so much more from a partner than you have received over the past 9 months. Move on with confidence and realise that you had an experience to show you what you didn`t want....there are many men who would value you as "a gem" that would enhance their lives, while they enhance yours. You have a lot to give, so don`t waste it on barren land. I do sincerely wish you much love, as you sound to me that you deserve it