Each parent have a child

Daley71

I have been paying maintainence for my two children since splitting from my ex wife 9 years ago.

My son has decided he wants to live with me so he has moved in and my daughter has stayed with her mum.

I was wondering what happens now with maintainence payments do I still pay for my daughter? Does my ex pay for my son?
Confused!

Please advise...

shoe*diva79

Yes. You pay 15% of your salary to your ex and she pays 15% of hers to you. Less any deductions for overnight stays, other children in household.

Do you have a private agreement?

paddedjohn

And you can now claim any child related benefits due to you, ie child benefit and child tax credits

Daley71

Yes we currently have a private agreement but not sure how to play it now

pretzelnut

Try and keep it amicable between the both of you for your children's sake. If your still on speaking terms.

iammumtoone

I don't know what the financial situation is for the both of you, but if you can try to spare a thought for your ex wife at least for the first few months until she gets used to it. She must be devastated that your son has decided to live with you, she has done the right for her child by letting him do so (some mothers might have made it very difficult).

I am not saying you don't need to sort out the money side of things, of course you do but she might be feeling that she has just 'lost' a son and if the first thing you want to talk to her about is money it might be seen to be a bit insensitive.

Enjoy your son coming to live with you and I wish you all the best.

Daley71

Unfortunately my ex is quite a difficult person. She wasn't bothered he had moved out until she realised she would lose out. In fact she told him she would lose money because of him and may lose the house due to bedroom tax. No talk of sorry or I wish you would stay just worried about the money.
At present I said I would halve what I currently pay so therefore still paying for my daughter but just checking if I should get money from her for my son

kevin137

You should, but primarily get the CB and if eligible WTC and CTC sorted... Then at least you will have a bit extra, but she should pay 15% of her income to you and you should to her, normally that would mean that YOU pay more, as you would be the higher earner...

But it costs the same per child so it doesn't make sense, so not fair but how the system is set up...

If she gets funny you always have the option of opening CSA cases for both children and dealing with it through them, but then you could be worse off if she is on benefits as an example, so you would pay 15% and she would pay £5... Again wrong, so best kept amicable.

Most normal people would just pay for there own children and not pay each other anything... Regardless of income... Which would be fair. But fair doesn't work in the eyes of the law in when the CSA and the UK is concerned...!!!

clearingout

Daley71 wrote: »

Unfortunately my ex is quite a difficult person. She wasn't bothered he had moved out until she realised she would lose out. In fact she told him she would lose money because of him and may lose the house due to bedroom tax. No talk of sorry or I wish you would stay just worried about the money.
At present I said I would halve what I currently pay so therefore still paying for my daughter but just checking if I should get money from her for my son

my budget as a single parent is very, very finely balanced. I am mindful that at some point in the future one or all of my children may decide they want to live with their dad and I am also aware of the impact that would have on my household (and I don't receive maintenance). Rightly or wrongly, my first concern on hearing one of my children say they want to live with dad would be the re-jigging of my budget. And if she is reliant on housing benefit, losing her home may now be a very real possibility.

And of course, you only have your son's word that she didn't ask him to stay or express any other kind of concern. Assuming he is in some way fed up with mum, he is hardly likely to be signing her praises, is he?