Terrible 3's

StressedOutMummy

People talk about the terrible 2's but since my son has turned 3 he is a nightmare! Picky eater, tantrums bordering meltdown - I really don't want to smack him but I am tempted! He is a lovely little boy but at the moment everything is his- even the onions in our bowl,he has a tantrum at the drop of a hat. All I seem to be is shouty Mummy!

pigpen

I found 3 far more demanding than 2 too.. The one perk is they are that bit older and therefore that bit more able to understand rules and that there will be consequences of their actions.

Distraction is still very much a tool to be utilised .. don't let food become a battle ground.. mine are given a plate of food, if they eat they eat if they don't.. they do without.. It is removed after 20 minutes and not a word said.

We tidy up our toys and any mess.. usually with me standing over them saying pick that up, and that, and the next one.. etc.. (it was a box of CD's yesterday, a pack of flash cards and pasta and meatballs!! :eek:)

Pick your battles, some things are not worth the hassle..

If all else fails you can also join him in the rolling about on the floor tantrumming.. .

It gets easier about 3 or 4 months after they start nursery.. once they settle down and find their feet. Then they start school and you go through it all again! Then they hit puberty..

I gave up shouting a while back.. I just dump them on a chair and they sit there until they can be sensible. Obviously I have days when I yell and certain things set me off.. I loathe backchat, it is usually that!

bossymoo

I hear you!

My DD will be 3 in 2 months and has been an absolute beast this last week. Then this weekend she has been poorly with upset tummy - I feel guilty that this was building up and that's what has made her so short tempered.

How long has he been like this? Is he well? With my son I noticed a positive difference from 3, so I was kind of hoping the same with my little girl. What's is vocabulary like? Is he frustrated that he can't say what he really wants?

Either way, its really hard to keep the patience up. I just try not to react at all, as with my DD its just adds fuel to the fire.

StressedOutMummy

He is very bright and fairly articulate.The problem is that he is spoiled by grandparents and aunts and expects to have his own way. I'm 45 and I remember my strict upbringng and while I don't want that for him - don't remember a lot of love, I want him to realise bad behaviour has consequences

pigpen

StressedOutMummy wrote: »

He is very bright and fairly articulate.The problem is that he is spoiled by grandparents and aunts and expects to have his own way. I'm 45 and I remember my strict upbringng and while I don't want that for him - don't remember a lot of love, I want him to realise bad behaviour has consequences

Then you need to also be more firm with the extended family.. they are not responsible for raising him, you are. They need to realise he is your son not theirs and lines need to be drawn.

It usually takes a lot of hammering home with extended family but you have to do it for the sake of your child.

lizziebabe

My daughter at 3 had terrible tantrums and would lie on the floor screaming and kicking all her limbs in the air. I made myself a cup of tea and stepped over her (deliberately and carefully) them went into the sitting room and sat down with my tea and a magazine. In other words I totally ignored her.

Very soon she came to find me and looked at me quizzically. I looked at her on her level and told her that I would not tolerate that kind of behaviour from such a big girl. I asked her if she saw me or her Dad behaving like that? I said that if she was upset about something we could talk about it, and I would just ignore her in the future, as well.

Hey Presto it stopped for a while. The next time she did it I lay on the floor beside her and imitated her - she was shocked and said I looked very silly, so I told her that's what she looked like. That did work! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

StressedOutMummy

Easier said tha done Pigpen, my mum has been gone 4 years, my dad is in 70's and loves the little guy to bits.Paternal grandparents are a different matter- they have him when I go to work so I cannot afford to rock the boat iyswim

lollipopsarah

Children are so clever at playing adults so I would suggest you set guidlines and stick to them - ie my house my rules, they soon learn who/where they can get away with things.
Best wishes and good luck.
xx

meritaten

the best advice I can give you is - Pick your battles and don't take direct action!
I use the naughty step - you can call it 'time out' or meditation time. but, you distance yourself and the child from the problem while you both calm down. at age 3 then about 2-3 mins is the norm - UNLESS they are still kicking and screaming and stompin about. CALM is the aim then you can explain why you mad, they can explain why they mad and you reach agreement. age three is when they reach the age when 'reason' can prevail.
btw - it doesn't always work and if YOU lose your temper then you lose the battle. I really have found that remaining calm and listening and soothing the child works wonders.

sassyblue

Whoever said the two's were terrible never had a three year old.....

My DS was an absolute misery at that age, unreasonable wasn't the word! He would try and tell me black was white and would moan, grizzle and pout through the day. He's 6 now and he still doesn't like the word 'no' but he's getting better at dealing with it.

Hang on in there SOM they do get better. Xx

Make-it-3

I haven't found the "twos" so terrible thus far, but several people have been warned me that the "threes" are worse.

Maybe its because they have cottoned on to all the tricks you used when they were two to keep them in check???