Barely afloat

Carrot_Top

I owe approximately £9000 to various people; banks, ccredit cards, a catalogue and a store card.

I barely make that per year, I work part time and am a single parent to two amazing children.

I owe time at work and am having to pay to put my kids in breakfast club to try and make this time up. I owe this time because my daughter was ill and I had to have a week off with her. It was either make this time up or lose the pay. Even with the breakfast club, I am only clawing back half an hour per day and I can't afford to do it more than twice a week.

I am depressed. I know I am depressed, I see it in myself. I make the bare minimum of effort with my appearance and demeanour.

I drink too much alcohol. I don't get drunk when I have my kids, but I struggle to go a night without a glass or two of wine once they're in bed. Whenever they are at their dad's (one night through the week and Fri - Sun and Sat - Mon alternate weekends), I get drunk. Even if it's in the house on my own. I worry that I am a functioning alcoholic.

I overeat. I am also an irregular bulimic.

I hae lurked on this site for ages, but today, when I had to phone the electricity company to change my direct debit because I know it takes them a while to set one up, then I will phone them in a few days to change it back so that my bill doesn't come out before payday, I had my lightbulb moment. I need to change my life and do it now.

I don't even know if this is in the right place.

Sorry if it isn't.

Carrot Top

beanielou

Welcome to MSE.
Well done on taking the first step.
Baby steps are good.
Keep posting!

Carrot_Top

Thank you, I am a long term lurker as I've gotten further and further into this mess.

I have contacted one of my debtors today to try and sort out a payment plan (unauthorised overdraft) and been told it is already with collections so I have to phone them back on monday.

My catalogue, I am gonna mess up one of my BNPL interest free purchases and need to make sure this doesn't happen again as it's a ridiculous interest rate when it does.

I have my kids tonight as my ex partner is being difficult and I have half a bottle of wine in the house, I will drink that once they're in bed then no more until at least next weekend. Hopefully.

I have anti.depressants prescribed from my GP that I am starting tomorrow - not supposed to drink regularly on them, not that I've been honest with him about my drinking or much else for that matter.

Upsidedown_Bear

Welcome to MSE :hello:
You're in the right place. The people on here are lovely and helpful

As beanie says - baby steps are good.

Have you seen this thread? You might find it helpful.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4409761

And this.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide

Will subscribe

Northern_Lassy

What brave and honest posts x You are not on your own now xxx

happycamel_2

Well done for posting, you'll find a lot of support here.

Regarding alcohol, it might be best all round to go cold turkey and take the antidepressants instead. Alcohol is a depressant itself. I speak as someone who is now tee total having worked in the industry and decided that stopping drinking was the best option for me(and battling PTSD and PND but that's another story).

You'll save yourself a fortune by not drinking but you'll also get your self respect and self love back. Feel brighter, healthier and happier and a better parent and more in control. I've yet to find a downside to stopping drinking.

I'd recommend getting in touch with Stepchange and working out a plan to deal with your debts. Are you getting sufficient maintenance for your children?

All the best, HC

Indebted2U

Hi CT. Well done for addressing your debts and I'm sure you will find loads of help, support and advice on the site. If you've not already done so have a look at Martin's Debt Video. Link below.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan

Perhaps the most important part of this video is in the first minute. Martin says.... No matter how bad your debts are he has never, ever, come across a debt problem that can't be resolved!!:j

I am no expert but it sounds to me like you might be in debt crisis? The good news is there are lots of free organisations that deal with exactly this type of thing You've taken the first big step in admitting you have a problem and need some help, so I'd suggest you watch the video then contact one of the organisations Martin talks about.

Good luck and keep us all updated

houseimprover

Welcome here.

Have you made sure you are getting all the help you can benefits wise?

Do you have a partner and if not does the father pay maintenance?