I've had enough

duckeggblue

As someone else said, this is the same as grieving. When you go through a loss or a perceived loss, there are so many emotions to deal with, it can seem really daunting to untangle all those emotions.

Distraughtguy

How long will it take to stop feeling like this.

paulineb_2

Distraughtguy wrote: »

I dont know what to do with myself, i keep dwelling on her. It ended so horribly (on her part) pretty much that song from goteye or whatever its called. Ive had no answers or closure and im still deeply in love with her, she was my childhood girlfriend.

Its fine to be in love with someone who doesnt want to be in the relationship anymore. Ive been there and it took me a long time to get over that person. But I did. And when I went through that particular break up I was 19. Its very tough.

And yes, I also lost friends because we had friends in common that consisted of socialising with couples in a big group and suddenly I wasnt part of that group anymore.

And as I said before you might need to make some effort to meet new people but there are other people out there.

No one is worth ending your life over, I can assure you of that.

paulineb_2

Distraughtguy wrote: »

How long will it take to stop feeling like this.

I have no idea, its different for every person, when you get your heart broken it can take some time to heal.

But you will, in time.

duckeggblue

Distraughtguy wrote: »

My mum works long and unsociable hours and my dad passed away 10 years ago, as for friends, i havent had any of those for over 4 years as the ones i had i met through my partner and they have since stopped all contact.

Mum will still want to support you though, wont she xx

duckeggblue

Have felt like ending my life sometimes, then I got a good counsellor , several good doctors. Rang Samaritans , lots of help. There's nothing wrong in reaching out when you find life hard. In fact it's a sign of getting strong to ask for help.

kelpie35

Distraughtguy wrote: »

My mum works long and unsociable hours and my dad passed away 10 years ago, as for friends, i havent had any of those for over 4 years as the ones i had i met through my partner and they have since stopped all contact.

Sorry you feel so down and have no friends :eek:

One suggestion I have is to look and see if there is a meetup group in your area.

My son has used these to make friends from all different backgrounds and ages.

They have gone out on walks, ten pin bowling, kayaking etc. None of these were too expensive either.

I hope you can find some happiness very soon. :A

JoW123

paulineb wrote: »

You may think Im talking out of my backside, but things will improve. My gran lost her brother to suicide, my mum lost her brother to suicide (schizophrenia runs in the male side of my family, thankfully my brother is ok).

My uncle was a clever, talented person, he was an english teacher and a writer. My family have had it tough, very tough. My gran lost both her brothers young, her other brother was killed in a car crash, her husband died young and I remember my mum telling me after my uncle died, that was the point where she felt she couldnt go on (my gran). And every time I feel sorry for myself I think of her, she was the strongest person I know and she died suddenly from a stroke 2 years ago. She loved life, she was just happy to be alive and to have family (us) who cared about her.

But she did go on. All i can say is, having lost someone I loved that way, you never ever get over it. Theres a great big black space where my uncle used to be. I used to think about him every day, I dont now, but hes always there.

His funeral was jam packed. He always said, and he had his lonely times, there would be no one at his funeral. And there were hundreds. People I didnt even know were doing readings and crying their eyes out because he was dead.

Life isnt always easy. Its testing, we get dumped, we get sacked, we have money worries, we get lonely and sometimes its soul destroying.

But things change. Im not the same person I was at 24 (Im 44). Ive had my good times, rough times, times where I though no one would care if I lived or died. But thats not true.

Its horrible when someone you love leaves you. But thats also life. And if you do feel you are suffering from depression, tell people you trust, tell your family.

You only get one life. Kill yourself and you'll leave people to pick up the pieces and they'll never get over it.

And you might have another year or two where everything is challenging, Ive been there. But it might take something really simple to pick you up, meeting new people, going out more.

I spent 2011 sitting in the house because I didnt have the confidence, my gran had also just died. But last year (and 2012 was a challenging one), I made myself go out. I joined the site meet up, met new people (and I dont brim with confidence). I met new people who knew nothing about me, nothing about anything Ive ever gone through in life (and I appreciate its not easy when you dont have loads of cash, I dont either) and even getting out of the house twice a month, or once a month, it makes all the difference.

Sometimes you need to fake confidence, you need to steel yourself to go out and speak to people when you would rather pull that duvet over your head.

If you really feel terrible, get back to your GP and ask him for help, proper help. And please believe me when I say what you are going through will pass, it will.

I really think this post says it all. Wonderfully written.

beluga

I suffer from depression and social anxiety disorder. It took me a long time to get any help, my doctor was useless and just told me to get out more. I eventually saw a different doctor who was so much better, she set up CBT and then counselling for me, and put me on antidepressants. It hasn't been easy, I was petrified of going to appointments and talking to anyone. Before that I hadn't left the house alone in over 5 years. I felt stupid and miserable and a complete failure.
But it does get easier. Baby steps! Try a different doctor, try writing down want you want to say or what you would like the doctor to do if you're worried about talking about it all.
You're not alone in feeling like this, if you don't feel you can talk to family about then talk to someone else - Samaritans, online, your doctor, anyone. Best of luck x

busiscoming2

Awww OP I want to give you a ((((big hug)))).

It's good you have your mum around.

It will take time to get over your partner, as someone else said it is like a bereavement. I expect at the moment you are at the 'can't believe it' stage. A lot of us can empathise with how you feel at the moment, but it will get better for you. It sounds useless but time is a great healer.

Your GP doesn't sound much cop. Is there another one at the practice you could see?

If you can try to focus on the job hunting it will help keep you motivated.