I'm frightened about going to court

rufus79

As it says, really. I am such a wussy girl, and the whole idea frightens me, I really wish there was another way but I know ther isn't. I won't even go in the job centre as I find that intimidating enough. I am afraid I will be lectured and shouted at for getting myself in such a mess. TBH, the temptation to try to run is quite overwhelming...

fermi

You were scared about telling your landlord, but that worked out fantastically.
Court for bankruptcy will be just the same, believe me.

People who run always end up looking over their should all the time.
It's difficult to face these things at times, but it's worth it in the end.

BTW, court is quite mundane really. It's more boring with all the waiting around than frightening, but I understand how you feel.

Stay with us, and we'll help you get through it.

rufus79

Thanks guys. You will all be so sick of me by the time I actually get there! I really am a wuss, and have always been such a 'goody goody' so this just seems so big and overwhelming - its actually why I went for an IVA last year when I should have just gone bk and been done with it.

norserose

I'm scared too, not that that helps you but at least you know it's not just you!

I'm sure it'll be fine though. When is your date? x

rufus79

norserose wrote: »

I'm scared too, not that that helps you but at least you know it's not just you!

I'm sure it'll be fine though. When is your date? x

I don't have a date yet, not quite organised enough to book it! Hopefully it will be in about a months time.

owetoomuch

Rufus, I know how you feel, I was totally terrified when I went to the Royal Courts of Justice in the Strand but now that I have done that it wasn't so bad, now I am dreading the meeting with the OR but one step at a time. Just think once you have done this you are nearly done, only OR interview to go, no more sleepless nights (still waiting for those to go), no more phone calls or dreading the post. Contact the court you will be going to and see if they have a personal support unit to help you through the day.

Take care and remember the fear is usually a lot worse than the actual deed as we tend to build things up in our mind that we dont know about.

philnicandamy

I'll echo what everyone said reallyI went BR in march & should have had my mum with me for support..we ended up rowing a few days before over something stupid & long story short I ended up going to court myself alone...I didnt do that bad really from arrival the clerk was nice went through the paperwork with me & said I may need to be seen in front of a judge, I waited for a little while & just my luck I thought the clerk came back saying i'd need to see the judge, the clerk was great & explained everything so clearly as to why I needed to be seen etc, I went to see the judge in her chamber again very nice & understanding, told me she'd had a look at my papers & was surprised with my poor health how i'd managed to cope so long paying stuff on the money I had left, she said she would sign the papers on one condition..that i left the court & concentrated on getting my health better & not to worry anymore about debts and enjoy the rest of my life..good deal I thought!
I had the OR meeting in a nearby office the same day & to be honest again very very nice met the person managing my paperwork then met the OR himself sat waiting in an office for him & in comes a guy in t-shirt and trainers made a bit of a fool of myself & asked if he'd spoke to reception before coming into the waiting room where I sat...turned out he was the OR oops!! I'm much the same as everyone & worried about all sorts of what could happen but...i'm glad I did what I did you'll go through such a huuuuuge range of emotions..everybody does..but it'll be worth it in the end for you, the sense of relief is amazing & i'm actually starting to enjoy sleep again!

We're all here for you anytime...keep on touch & let us know how your doing

Phil

Richard_S

Hi Rufus,

I don't know if this will work for you but it was one of those psychological approaches that apparently helped people overcome intimidating situations.

The whole court procedure is made up of buildings and people; the building is the court and the people are the judge and ushers and associated staff.

Firstly, imagine the building completely empty and that you're having a look around the court with a friend, just as a matter of interest. Secondly, try and imagine the people you think you'll find intimidating in different, more human circumstances, e.g walking along a beach in their swimming gear, (yuk) or sat on the toilet (gross). It's the circumstances that give these people their aura of power and ability to intimidate.

Finally, when you walk through the court doors, force your mind to concentrate on how you'd feel if the building was empty, and how silly the people would look if they weren't dressed in their "power suits". You do actually have to stop yourself from grinning inanely if you can successfully imagine the scenario in your mind.

Hope that helps a little but don't blame me if you burst into laughter when you see the judge with his "natty" little wig and pot belly :rotfl: :rotfl:

Richard

desperate_mum_3

Hi ...I went BR in April was physically sick the morning I went to court don't know how I walked into the court but did , and soooo glad I did . HONESTLY everyone there was very nice , polite not judgemental AT ALL , VERY HELPFUL and even made light of some of the questions . I was in a cold sweat ... but there was NOTHING to worry about . This site is wonderful ...stay logged in whenever , read as much as you can , ask whatever you want to know and you WILL be fine ... i was expecting the OR phone interview but got called into a face to face interview only because I am self employed , s*****g myself was putting it mild ... more sickness more sleepless nights but when I went in sat down he shock my hand and smiled ...I was fine .... he was wonderful the only time I squirmed a little was when he actually asked me why I thought I had got into debt ...but he wasn't being nasty or shouting he was very friendly . Once I explained that once you get a credit card and bank loan it is a vicious circle with interest being added etc ...that was it , PLEASE don't worry ... what I would say is if you are definatley going BR do it quickly ..the thinking about it and worrying really is the worse bit ...I started to think seriously about going BR at the beginning of March got the money together and on 27th April It was OVER ....i have slept everynight since and would do it all again ... ( not get into debt .... but certainly going BR best thing I have done for years ) GOOD LUCK x

ClaireLR

Oh Rufus I know exactly how you feel

I got my date to go bankrupt on 6 July and every day it's all I think about, some days I'm ok and then other days I could actually cry cos I feel so scared.

The thing is with me is I get intimidated so easily, so the thought of sitting in front of a judge gives me the heebie jeebies. The theres the thought of meeting the OR. I'm worried that they'll take my car, that I'll end up with an IPA, that I'll get shouted at for being so careless with money, honestly I mean I'm not a naughty schoolchild going to see the headmistress but that's how it makes me feel!

The only thing thats helping me at the moment is reading peoples experiences on here and seeing that they've lived to tell the tale! I can't yet remember seeing a post where someones said how horrible the judge was, or how nasty the OR was (although I'm sure some are).

I hope your ok. We'll get through this I'm sure.

Casio28

Hi everyone,

I went bankrupt last August and I know how you're feeling. I've only just found this forum and I wish I'd found it last year because I think it would have been a great comfort to me - the people on it are lovely, supportive and reassuring. I just want you to know that it won't be as bad as you're expecting it to be. Why don't you organise something nice for the evening of your bankruptcy hearing date? I went out with my friends so I could remember that I'm still young and don't have to worry about money and what I'm going to do next all the time.

Please be reassured that it won't be as bad you think.

Thanks again to all the people who're leaving such supportive responses on here - they really are much appreciated. xxx