Asking people not to take photos in your ceremony - thoughts?

minerva_windsong

BugglyB's post about asking guests not to put up their photos on Facebook (in the main section) got me thinking about something that happened at a wedding I went to last year, and I was curious to see how other people felt about this.

Basically what happened was that the couple put on their order of service 'please don't take pictures at these points in the day, because we've paid for a really great photographer and we want to see you in our pictures not your phones'. It was only for things like the bride coming up the aisle, them going out, cutting the cake, the first dance etc, and they had the registrar/DJ etc say 'please don't take photos during this bit' and then saying when it was OK to take photos as well as putting it across quite nicely (or so I thought) in the order of service.

Now I'm a bit torn on what I think of this. On the one hand, I totally understand the thing about wanting to see your friends' and families' faces in your wedding pictures, especially at the big moments rather than just a sea of phones, and that it's annoying for other guests as well (thankfully I haven't seen anyone do it at a wedding even when they weren't asked not to, but I've been to concerts etc where that's happened and it is frustrating!). But equally, there is a part of me that can't help feeling it's a bit too Bridezilla, and that there may well be someone who effectively says 'sod it, I'm taking the photo', although again at this wedding I didn't notice anyone doing that.

So, your thoughts? Have you been to a wedding where this has happened? Have you/would you do it at your own?

lionheartedgirl

I'm a musician and played at a really beautiful wedding last year. The bride was desperately shy and nervous and so the registrar explained this and asked before the beginning of the ceremony that no one took photos until just one specific point - after the register had been signed and the official photographer had done what they needed.

When this point came, the registrar reminded them they could come up just for a quick photo.

It wasn't made a big deal of and no-one seemed to mind at all. Not many people took photos in the end. I thought it was very subtle and didn't interrupt the proceedings at all.

cats2012

I have to say friends and family took pictures at ours but there isn't a single picture, professional or otherwise, that has anyone's phone in it! People were too busy enjoying the day to take that many!

So unless you have friends you know are notorious photo takers I'd really be surprised if it was an issue...

LEJC

I got married back in the days before mobiles and the internet,and before the ceremony I'm told that the vicar politely reminded guests at the wedding that the church was a sacred place and he thanked them for not using photography during the ceremony.

Mind you he was also the vicar who wanted to charge us £150 to use a video camera "if we wished"...so it might be that because we didnt pay he wasnt going to have any photos inside the church....or for that matter confetti in his churchyard...

Oh how things change...although whilst it seemed a little "heavy handed" at the time....if you really dont want anything other than your official photos of the ceremony then that might be the way to go and ask the vicar or person conductucting your marriage to tell guests before you arrive....then if anyone doesnt like it you can say it wasnt your decision but that of the vicar!

elsien

I think it's a bit bridezilla. Pre-mobile phone days, we all had cameras to take pictures of the coming out of the church, first dance etc but it didn't spoil the official photographs.
As a previous poster said, if it's in church then you'd expect the vicar to make a polite reminder about no photo's and if it's a civil wedding I suppose the registrar could do the same. But I've not come across the sea of phones scenario anyway.
But to get a message with the order of service giving specific instructions about when and where you can and can't take pictures because they've got a posh photographer? I'm afraid that would bring out my childish "stuff 'em" side. Plus I like my own informal photos as a reminder and don't necessarily want to pay a fortune for the official ones. (In fact at my brother's wedding, I was nominated the unofficial photographer, capturing the moments that the "proper" photo's didn't.)

Stevenj214

elsien wrote: »

to get a message with the order of service giving specific instructions about when and where you can and can't take pictures because they've got a posh photographer? I'm afraid that would bring out my childish "stuff 'em" side.

I hope my fiancee and I don't have people as immature and disrespectful as you at our wedding.

We will be politely asking our guests to not take pictures at certain moments. This is the article we read about the problems it can cause.

Stephb1986_2

I've seen a lot of wedding photo's recently of friends weddings. What I have found when other people take the photo's is that there are some very unflattering pictures of the bride or blurred ones etc etc.

Then they've been posted to facebook for everyone to see :eek:

Steph x

poet123

I wouldn't post pictures on my FB of the Bride and Groom without permission. I think it is disrespectful. I would only post personal pictures of immediate family not of others who cannot consent or say no.

nightsky224

I have been a little worried about the photos people will post on FB a I saw photos of work college of my OH on her wedding day. One person had posted photos of her that were not nice at all - caught at a funny angle etc. We have set the approval thing on FB but there is not much else we can do. Just hope friends think before posting!
Re photos in the ceremony I really don't want people to take loads of photos as I know I will get over whelmed (I'm daunted by the idea of standing up in front of that many people as it it)

I was thinking of saying

Our photographer has all the formal bits coveredso put down your cameras and enjoy the moment. However we can’t wait to see thephotos you take of the special moments the photographers will miss – pleasemake sure you share them with us

daisiegg

Personally I think this is overkill a bit.

I felt overwhelmed, but in a good way, walking down the aisle with a sea of cameras and mobile phones pointing at me. I felt flattered and honoured that people cared enough that they wanted to capture the image. None of our guests ruined any of the official photographs at all and we still got all the official photographs we wanted. In fact, some guests took some fantastic pictures that have ended up in our wedding album. If we had said no cameras/phones, we would not have half of the informal shots that are in our album. One of my favourite pictures - of us coming down the steps from the altar after the ceremony to walk down the aisle, me hand in had with my husband and my sister holding the train of my dress, and there is a beam of light just hitting behind me and lighting up my sister and my dress - was taken by a camera phone!

As for Facebook, we didn't ask people not to post any pictures, and I logged on the next morning really excited to see what pictures people had taken...but no one had put any up! I think most people realise there is an unofficial rule that you shouldn't do that, and they wait for the all clear.

I had to post a status saying 'I felt like I was followed by paparazzi yesterday because of the number of cameras pointing at me from all angles, yet I have still to see a picture of myself in my wedding dress! Please, please, if you took pictures, please post them!' Then within minutes dozens of people were uploading pics. They seemed to have waited for our go-ahead to do it. We absolutely loved going through all the guests' pictures on Facebook - it really kept us going until we got our official photos a couple of weeks later!

So, no, personally I would not advise asking for no cameras/phones. We had no negative experience whatsoever of people taking their own pictures - in fact, it was only a really positive thing for us. I think it is ok to ask for no Facebook uploads if you feel your guests need to be asked that, but as I said, I fully expected people to put loads up on Facebook (lots of addicts among our guests!) but they seemed to want to wait until they had been told it was ok, so your guests may surprise you with their consideration in that respect.

I must say though, the strangest part of the day for me (and a part that we could not have prevented!) was arriving at the church in the car with my dad and getting out, and about 4 complete strangers standing there with their camera phones held up taking pictures of us! SO weird!

Georgiegirl256

If people request that they don't want any unofficial photos taken, then I think that should be respected. A lot of people are camera shy, want to have control over their photos, which ones people can view etc, and if people are just snapping away willynilly and then uploading them to Facebook even after its been requested not to, then I think that's very disrespectful.

I also cannot stand Facebook, so don't appreciate anyone uploading any photos of me that I havent approved.

A lot of people might think its over the top, but at the end of the day, you're a guest at the wedding and should respect their wishes.