Mentioning children at interview

Southend1

Successful_Day wrote: »

Is it a good idea to mention your family during the interview or to mention you have a daughter for instance? It may not be as bad of an idea as you think.

Sure, having family is not necessarily relevant to a job interview nor is it relevant to your ability to do the job. And in fact, having a daughter could be a setback for you, because know you've got an extra responsibility that may prevent you from doing your job on a daily basis.

At the same time, what you want to do through the job interview is build a relationship and create trust with the person across the desk from you. So, by saying that you do have a daughter or that you have family, you are acknowledging that you're actually a person who has relationships outside of work. That makes you more real, more three dimensional. The key to the interview is to create trust and comfort with the job interviewer.

So, if the job interviewer were to ask you questions about you’re out of job life, what you do there, it's definitely appropriate to reference your family and the things that you enjoy doing with your family. That makes you look more human and feel more trust worthy.

At the same time, if you are at an interview that is very formal, and where that kind of information doesn't seem to fit the conversational flow, you don't need to force it in there to make you seem more trust worthy.

Interesting point, but what you are effectively saying is that interviewees should try to anticipate the interviewers beliefs, values and prejudices about personal matters and try to convince them on these grounds that they are the best person for the job. None of these things are relevant and could well backfire e.g. if you're trying to convince someone that you're more trustworthy because you have kids, this is unlikely to impress an interviewer who is for example gay or has health issues that prevent him/her from having children. It's best to stick to what skills, competencies etc you bring to the role and whether you are available/flexible as required.

Southend1

DKLS wrote: »

Nothing to do with luck but you are right attitudes are changing, so far she has never been interviewed by a woman, like I said the roles she goes for are more suited to those without children.

Last interview was 2 weeks ago and the CEO loved the fact that she was childfree as he had been let down badly in the past by working parents, if they can agree on terms and package she will be taking that job.

Would the CEO feel let down if your wife decided to get pregnant two weeks into the new job? Would she be sacked because of it? If she was would she be happy to leave without making a fuss?

Caroline_a

I've been reading through this thread with interest. I've been a single (and married) parent and worked virtually the whole time. Yes, childcare was a bit of a nightmare at times (and this was some time ago, my girls are all grown up now), but I always likened it to an onion - you need 'layers' of support. I had no close family near so had to be extra careful with making sure that I was covered in emergencies.

The first job I had when I went back to work had a large majority of women working there with young children. Very little time was taken off by them, either for their children or for their own illnesses. However, the men seemed to be off for every little sniffle they had! It became a bit of a joke to be honest.

However, to the original post - why on earth would you want to mention that you have children on a job interview? It has no relevance to your ability to do the job, which, surely, is why you are there on interview? If asked (and I have been) I have always said 'my childcare is organised and reliable, it won't impact on my work'. Full stop. No employer is interested in your children!

DKLS

Southend1 wrote: »

Would the CEO feel let down if your wife decided to get pregnant two weeks into the new job? Would she be sacked because of it? If she was would she be happy to leave without making a fuss?

Moot point, my wife will never get pregnant.

Southend1

DKLS wrote: »

Moot point, my wife will never get pregnant.

How would the CEO know this?

duchy

DKLS wrote: »

Nothing to do with luck but you are right attitudes are changing, so far she has never been interviewed by a woman, like I said the roles she goes for are more suited to those without children.

.

So no fathers in these roles presumably as there is always the chance their stay at home wife might die (or even heaven forbid go back to work) and they might need to actually take some parental responsibility ?

Yes I am making a ridiculous statement .........to show you how off the planet your assumptions are !

Frankly you've made your wife sound as ridiculous as the OP's friend. You are saying that your wife feels obligated to discuss her fertility or lack of with a complete stranger at a job interview to ensure she gets a job. After all if her prospective employers are so anti family as you claim -any woman of child bearing age is going to be considered a "maternity risk" by your logic ......unless informed otherwise. Does your wife not want to be considered the best candidate based on her abilities rather than the condition of her womb ? It sounds incredible that a modern woman chooses to be judged by those criteria.

DKLS

duchy wrote: »

So no fathers in these roles presumably as there is always the chance their stay at home wife might die (or even heaven forbid go back to work) and they might need to actually take some parental responsibility ?

Yes I am making a ridiculous statement .........to show you how off the planet your assumptions are !

Frankly you've made your wife sound as ridiculous as the OP's friend. You are saying that your wife feels obligated to discuss her fertility or lack of with a complete stranger at a job interview to ensure she gets a job. After all if her prospective employers are so anti family as you claim -any woman of child bearing age is going to be considered a "maternity risk" by your logic ......unless informed otherwise. Does your wife not want to be considered the best candidate based on her abilities rather than the condition of her womb ? It sounds incredible that a modern woman chooses to be judged by those criteria.

Good grief you have managed to extract that some distance.;)

My wife has always landed great jobs and hasnt been unemployed for more than a week in the past 20 years so not doing too bad so far for a modern women judged by her empty womb

For my wife, her child free status can give her the competitive edge, it bears no relation to her experience or skillset, its just another of her 'aces' in the deck to be pulled out as and when needed.

Southend1

DKLS wrote: »

Good grief you have managed to extract that some distance.;)

My wife has always landed great jobs and hasnt been unemployed for more than a week in the past 20 years so not doing too bad so far for a modern women judged by her empty womb

For my wife, her child free status can give her the competitive edge, it bears no relation to her experience or skillset, its just another of her 'aces' in the deck to be pulled out as and when needed.

"Child free status" can change in less than a year. I know you said your wife will never have children but how would a prospective employer know this? So "child free" may be seen by an employer as "could have a child sometime in the near future and require time off work as a result".

duchy

The thing is people's lives change -I have a friend who is infertile (ironically she discovered this whilst training to be a nursery nurse) -she married a widower with young children -another friend was adament she didn't want children -until her late thirties when she had a complete change of heart ....then of course there are the women who blithely tell their would be employers they have no plans for children-to avoid been discriminated against by a dinosaur company culture. I suspect DKLS is mistaken and his wife's success has nothing to do with her childfree status and everything to do with her ability and good interviewing technique. Most employers take a "no kids" stance from prospective employees with a pinch of salt anyway as they have learned that things change.

gwen80

This thread seems to have generated quite a debate. Going back to my friend briefly, I spoke to her again about her interview. She has some strange takes on things sometimes and it seems that interviews are one of them. She said that I'm making her panic. She's said that her previous interviews (there haven't been many, she's been in the same job for years) were basically just a little chat. She's said she's worried she's going to 'fail'. Interesting choice of language there I thought. I said 'it's not an exam' and she said 'it is, kind of'. I completely disagree, it's a two way process and you don't get a mark at the end, you get one of two outcomes. Also, you could have aced the interview, but somebody else could have just pipped you.

I think the major problem is her lack of interview experience and the fact that she hasn't worked in a professional environment. I've tried my best, we'll see what happens.

Gwen