CSA dad refusing to pay

Bifa23

My girlfriend has a 4 year old boy whose dad is a complete joke, it's tempting to explain why but for now I want to focus on one part.

He has been messing my gf about with money for her son and has not been paying for a number of months, She has now been in touch with the CSA and they have chased up his employer but they deny any knowledge of him working for them, I know who his boss is and as a result his boss has told him he can't work for him from now on. So basically her ex is not working and will just go and work elsewhere for cash in hand and won't declare it. She is worried as he won't pay a penny and yet he gets to have his son every other weekend and every Wednesday as this was arranged with her solicitor and his parents solicitor. I would like advise on a way of stopping him play these games. He uses the money as a controlling thing over her and used to give it in bits and bobs.

Bifa23


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cakeforbrains

Hi there. Somebody who knows lots of answers will be along in a minute, but I just wanted to say I feel for you and your frustration.

I believe that the reality of the situation is that 'job hopping' is something that NRPs (non resident parents) can do to avoid paying maintenance, if they're that way inclined.

As far as contact (access) is concerned, it's completely separate from maintenance in law. This is proper as the alternative would be to have a situation where NRP effectively buy time with their children. I might be wrong, but I have a feeling that arrangements made between two solicitors (as opposed to in a court) aren't actually enforceable, so if the amount/time of contact is something that you feel is unreasonable then it may well be possible to change it. You have to keep that completely separate from the money situation, though.

As I say. somebody will be along soon who can confirm/deny whatever the hell I've come out with!

Hope you get it sorted.

zzzLazyDaisy

It is correct that the maintenance and contact issues are entirely separate.

It is may or may not be correct that the arrangements made between the solicitors are not enforceable - it depends on whether the arrangement was left informal, or whether it was placed before the court as a consent order. In any event, using the child as a pawn in his parents' maintenance dispute by withdrawing or restricting access would be very much frowned on by the court. It also seems likely that if the mother did seek to change the agreed arrangements the parents would once again pay for a solicitor to deal with the matter, in court if necessary.

Sadly some NRPs do evade their responsibilities by job hopping/going self employed etc. It is unfair, but in the real world many do get away with it.

Bifa23

Thanks for your help.

The mother is not using the child as a pawn, unfortunately the situation is very complexed. She split from him 2 years ago and for the first year suffered abuse and threats from him constantly over the phone and in person. We kept a record of the amount of missed calls and it averaged 30 a day twice reachng 85-90 the police issued him with a harrasment warning and she changed her number but as she has a little boy with him it made things awkward so she bought a cheap pay as you go phone so he could call and speak to his son on that during the week, all he would do is ask to speak to mum and start being abusive again if she refused to talk he would say nasty things about her to there little boy. So now she refuses to turn the phone on, He has almost 50/50 access on the weekends anyway and every wednesday but just let's his parents have him so he goes down the pub. The flat she lives in is under there Name which a solicitor is trying to change as we speak but he always threatens to move back in if she does not conform to what he wants, it's a shame as his parents are decent people but are caught in the middle and the little boy idolises his grandad.

He has attacked me on two occasion outside her flat and tried to tack a bite out of my cheek, this is all on police record. We are worried as once he gets his licence back for drink driving he is going to show up more and more.

We are completely at breaking point.

zzzLazyDaisy

These are issues that you/she should raise with the police and/or the solicitor.

The contact arrangements seem to be working well, as far as the little boy is concerned, in as much as he gets to spend time with his extended family and obviously benefits from that. I agree that the original intention was probably to maintain contact with the father - although the fact that his parents were the driving force behind that suggests that it is they, rather than he, who wishes to maintain contact.

When you say the flat is 'under their name' do you mean in the parent's name, or in the joint names of your gf and her ex? Is it rented or mortgaged? Were they married, or not? Is your gf working? All of these things give completely different scenarios.

Bifa23

Council rented flat, they were not married but the flat is under both there names. He has not lived there for two years, she does not work as her son suffers with cystic fibrosis. Your very correct that his parents are the driving force behind the contact with his son. Can stop him picking his son up due to his driving convictions in his car she would much rather drop her son off to his dads parents house as that is where he is living. She just wants to stop him turning up at the flat randomly causing trouble.

zzzLazyDaisy

Bifa23 wrote: »

Council rented flat, they were not married but the flat is under both there names.

In that case, I hope she has obtained an occupation order, otherwise he is entitled to enter the property whenever he likes - although the fact that he hasn't lived there for two years suggests that he is unlikely to do this.

The council do not have the power to take him off the tenancy against his will, the only way to do that is by obtaining a court order - which presumably is what the solicitor is looking into. The other way to get him off the tenancy is for her to end the tenancy and take out a new tenancy in her sole name (this does not need his consent). But this would need the council's co-operation and is best done through the solicitor.

However none of these issues are relevant to the fact that the father is not paying maintenance for his son through CSA, which is what your OP was about.

Bifa23

Ok thanks for your advice.

I know it was not what the original post was about, just needed to get it off my chest I guess, just feels like there are a so many ways he is getting to her at the minute.

kevin137

I would seek to have the contact agreement amended, and have it amended that you have concerns for the safety of the child in solely the NRP's care, but that you are agreeable to contact for the grandparents with the amount to remain the same, but no removal from there care.

I don't know if this would be possible, but an application to court for custody would soon clarify the position regarding who has the responsibility and you are not denying contact, just that there be an appropriate responsible adult supervising that contact by way of grandparents... If it goes tits up, then you have grounds for stopping it, so he then has no choice but to play nicely as far as this is concerned, part of this would be that HE makes no effort to contact you and does NOT attend your property, that the Grandparents take this responsibility and again it reduces the possibility of problems as no contact...

As for the CSA, well sooner or later he will get caught out, in the meantime, just chase them regularly and if he gets work notify them, etc...

He will run up debts in the end as he sounds like someone who has no idea...!!!

FBaby

Unfortunately, she will need to accept that she is unlikely to get a decent amount of maintenance from her ex. Under the conditions, it doesn't look promising, at least in the short term and she will be better accepting it (but still have the csa case open).

My ex has never paid hardly any maintenance since we separated 8 years ago. I could have gone to the csa, but most of the time he has had a job for a couple of months only, then gone self-employed, then work cash in hand, then not work, then work again cash in hand etc..... and going through the csa would have been hell. So I gave up on it.

He sees the kids every week-end. From my perspective, it's not him seeing them but them seeing him. He is not a bad father just an irresponsible one, but won't put them at risk or anything. They love him and it would do more damage if contact was stopped than continued as it is. Contact and maintenance as not linked when you look at it from the children's perspective.

It is frustrating, but in the end, the damage the stress will cause her is unlikely to be outweight by the little money she is likely to get from him.

kittkatt82

Hi, my sympathies as I had a similar situation with my own ex and despite all advice allowed my son to remain in contact with him. I just had to accept that as long as my son was safe, he had a right to see his dad. I had no maintenance for 10 years. Fortunately now 14 years on, he has grown up, has a lovely relationship with my son, and pays a decent amount of maintenance. Can't promise this in your situation but hopefully will get better in time. Don't hold out much hope that he's going to live up to his responsibilities at the moment after the way he's treated her unless he also grows up at some point. Fortunately they both seem to have someone who cares about them both :j and you can both give her son what he's missing out on from his father. Best of luck