How to deal with set backs?

ilovelondontown

So since I decided to be come more open and honest about my financial state- which to sum up, is being "managed" but leaves me feeling controlled by my debt, it's been on my mind A LOT, in fact every time I pay for something I question if I can get it cheaper etc, and I know this is a positive step.

However, the downside to this is that, it's on my mind a lot. The ignorance is bliss state of mind has well and truly gone, and I know it's not an overnight fix, by my calculations it's going to take until Christmas to really see the efforts of my labour and while I do get a sense of relief from dealing with the matter, when the numbers come down it's nice, but they don't come down as fast as you'd like... I also find myself feeling overwhelmed, especially when something comes up that I have to pay for that was unforseen, or if I do the maths and realise I miscalculated and worse off that I thought- which sets you back psychologically.

How do others deal with those moments when you feel like you are going one step forward and two steps back?

Bobarella

Hi ilovelondontown

Its hard when you feel that you arent making the progress you'd like to be, or when things just cant be tackled because life gets in the way.

I know how you feel, I started tackling our debts back in November last year. After a very good start (we have repaid around £3.5K of £9K) we have stalled due to my self employed status meaning income is 'variable' to say the least. We were paying off chunks of £1K and £500 per month from November-March but since then its only been the minumn. That is a vast simplification because the very fact we've continued to build up our emergency pot (doubly important for me as self employed) to not go into any further debt, is also an achievement, but not the one that feels the most pleasing given my debt reduction goal.

I think the best advice I can give is to see it as a marathon and not a sprint (cliche police will be along shortly) but it is. One poster has a tag that says its better to be taking lots of little steps in the right direction than huge leaps that end up taking you backwards because they are unsustainable.

Good luck with all your efforts.

Bobarella

zenshi

It does send you backwards but you learn to deal with it

I was clear in my head about paying off mortgage arrears...I sold a ring for x and this and that, huge chunk to pay off but then my car got sick and guess what took priority :eek:

I'm pig sick about it but nothing I can do but plough on...

harrys_dad

Keep going ilovelondontown, and when you feel a bit down and things are going slower than you want, just come on here and get some affirmative huggssss. You can do this, and we will support and encourage you every step of the way, even through the occasional backwards ones.

ilovelondontown

Thank you for replying- bobarella, you are so right, so early on in changing my finances I am viewing this as a race with myself- "how quickly can I get out of debt?"and it's not the most effective way of handling this.

I need to learn to pace myself and see the short term goals as good achievements as well as the ultimate long term goal - be debt free!
Zenshi, that desribes exactly how I feel about it.

and Harrys dad- I already love this forum might be getting a bit addicted though!

harrys_dad

ilovelondontown wrote: »

and Harrys dad- I already love this forum might be getting a bit addicted though!

Well I am certainly addicted, even though I am one of the lucky ones not in debt. I used to be a volunteer adviser at CAB and enjoy helping and supporting on here. The wonderfully supportive and almost always non-judgemental nature of the people on here makes me really happy and I come for my "fix" several times daily

Bobarella

ilovelondontown wrote: »

Thank you for replying- bobarella, you are so right, so early on in changing my finances I am viewing this as a race with myself- "how quickly can I get out of debt?"and it's not the most effective way of handling this.

I need to learn to pace myself and see the short term goals as good achievements as well as the ultimate long term goal - be debt free!
Zenshi, that desribes exactly how I feel about it.

and Harrys dad- I already love this forum might be getting a bit addicted though!

Your welcome. I feel exactly the same quite often and try and tell myself that I will get there in the end, and its really important to celebrate all the small success along the way. Good luck!