Bridesmaid reading at wedding. Struggling to find something appropraite

lettice

The Quiet World
By Jeffrey McDaniel

In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond,
I know she’s used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

Jeffrey McDaniel, “The Quiet World” from The Forgiveness Parade. Copyright © 1998 by Jeffrey McDaniel. Reprinted with the permission of Manic D Press.

*

I love it but I wonder whether it might be a bit sombre.

daisiegg

Are you absolutely sure they are expecting you to find a reading, rather than reading something they have picked? I have never heard of this before; usually in my experience the bride and groom choose the readings and then ask people to read them.

Personally as you mentioned it is in a church, I would stick with a Bible reading. There is no reason why they can't have two 'religious' readings (indeed, lots of churches will only let you have Bible readings so it would not be unusual). I have to admit to finding the poems/cutesy readings a tiny bit tacky.

We had a reading from Genesis, when God realises that Adam needs a companion, so God makes Eve from his rib, the one that says 'and that is why a man leaves his mother and father and gets married' basically. We did like Corinthians ('love is patient, love is kind') but felt it was overdone so we chose not to go with it. And then we had the wedding at Cana - when the bride and groom have not ordered enough wine so Jesus turns water into wine - just a slight 'in joke' for us as we are very into wine! We wanted to steer clear from lots of soppy 'love love love' readings - everyone there knew we were getting married because we are in love (and if they didn't know, they only has to glance at our faces on the day!) without having to labour the point with cheesy poems.

Anyway, my point is, since your friends are in a particular unusual situation, it might be a good idea to go down the same route. Also I wouldn't agonise over it too much - people are not going to pay a huge amount of attention to the words of the readings in a church. They will think 'ah this is nice' and look around at the flowers and how pretty the bride is etc - they won't be analysing every single word and thinking 'oh dear, it mentioned long life, that is inappropriate'. It may be that the bride and groom want it to feel like a 'normal' wedding and don't want people tiptoeing around them all day.

However, here are some ideas http://www.hitched.co.uk/Chat/forums/t/51949.aspx - there are a few poems on there that might be suitable.

I hope the wedding all goes well and that your friends have a happy marriage that is as long as possible.

Hezzawithkids

If you want a lighter note how about this:

A Lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton

The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice.
Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage.
Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.
I like this Dinosaur thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny.
He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.
I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur.
She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice.
She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.
But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
He is also overly fond of things.
Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?
But her mind skips from here to there so quickly thought the Dinosaur.
She is also uncommonly keen on shopping.
Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?
I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.
I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur.
For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides,
I am not unkeen on shopping either.
Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old.
Look at them.
Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.
And that, my friends, is how it is with love.
Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together.
For the sun is warm.
And the world is a beautiful place

sheeppappar

This is a lovely one from The Velveteen Rabbit - I've heard it at a couple of weddings and doesn't talk about a journey but it does capture what love is .. xx

Thoughts with you and your friends. I hope the day is lovely x

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

--Margery Williams

heartbreak_star

I know the one from the Velveteen Rabbit and it makes me well up every time I read it

I love this one:

To Love is Not to Possess
James Kavanaugh
To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one's self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom
That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are
No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one's self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment
To another–and to one's inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide
In the moon's own predictable harmony,
Because finally, despite a child's scars
Or an adult's deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are–and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being
Where true and lasting love can alone abide.

HBS x

heartbreak_star

Also, this is pretty cute and very upbeat but maybe not appropriate?

"All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten," by Robert Fulgham
All of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.

These are the things I learned…
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Give them to someone who feels sad.
Live a balanced life.
Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day.
Take a nap every afternoon.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.
And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

HBS x

AmyTurtle

My friend got married last year - I read the Captain Correlli reading and another friend read the Hugh Grant's opening speech from Love Actually:
Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

Idiophreak

We had Stardust as one of ours, I think it's a lovely description of love:

"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. "

Lagoon

We considered Edward Monkton's 'Love Monkey' for ours. Not a serious one, of course, but fun and possibly appropriate given the circumstances.

We decided not to have readings in the end.

Here's the story:

It was once custom that every monkey would carve for himself a wooden heart.

And the heart that love monkey carved was the most beautiful of all.

Its contours were soft and rounded, like an ancient pebble sculpted by the oceans.

Its surface was smooth and shiny like liquid silk, and it shone as bright as a ruby in the desert sun.

“Take your hearts with you wherever you go,” said their teacher.

“Nurture them as a mother nurtures her new-born baby.

For when you want to give of yourself fully, your heart is the only true gift you will have.”



That night, Love Monkey had a dream.

He dreamt of a monkey whose smile lit up his soul like sunshine.

He held out his heart to her - so radiant, so splendid and so new.

She took him in her arms and he felt truly, perfectly, at peace.

When Love Monkey awoke he resolved that, from that day forward,

he would search for his Dream Monkey until he could stand before her and give to her his perfect heart.



He travelled through deserts…and climbed over mountains.

He trekked across forests…and sailed many oceans.

Love Monkey looked after his heart as best he could, but the storms that he endured on his travels chipped away at its surface and each new adventure reshaped it.

By the time he arrived on the last distant shore, his heart was so changed by the passing of time that it barely resembled his old heart at all.

And then, he saw her.



Standing before him, as radiant and as beautiful as the sunshine, was his Dream Monkey.

At first he could not speak. But then, from somewhere deep inside himself, he found a voice.

“I have travelled the world over to find you, and to give you my heart,” he said.

“But now that I am finally with you, I see how foolish I have been.

You are so beautiful, so perfect. And my heart that was once smooth, so bright and so new is now not something that I could even bring myself to show you,” and he turned to go.

“Let me see it,” said Dream Monkey. She took his heart and held it up to the light.

“Nothing to me is more beautiful. Every fissure tells a story.

Every blemish makes you more real. All my life I have been waiting for a heart like this; a heart that speaks the truth.”



“Come here,” she said. “I have something for you too.”

In her hand was a tiny golden heart. It was as worn and as scratched as Love Monkey’s own

…and it was the most precious thing that he had ever seen.

Love Monkey put his arms around her and they held each other for a long, long time.

“I shall treasure this heart for as long as I live,” said Dream Monkey, running her fingers over its ridged and dimpled surface.

Then they looked into each other’s eyes and, feeling the joy of truth in their souls for the first time, they began to laugh.

heartbreak_star

Ahhh Lagoon that's beautiful!

HBS x