Advice please - ex owes me money!

SortingIt_2

Hi All,

Wondered if anyone could give me any advice on money that an ex owes me. He has decided all of a sudden to stop paying me the money, I have been more than reasonable over the past 2 year... yes 2 years!!!! Enough is enough now, its really getting me down.

Basically I wrote him a (credit card) cheque for approx £5000 when we were still together for him to sort out some finances and he just gave me money to pay the bill. On top of this I at some point transferred £1000 from savings (yes I used to have some!) direct from my account to his account and then when we were due to get married I took a loan for £5000 in my name (stupidly) which was in a joint account of ours, he then transferred £3000 into supposidly a high interest savings account (through bank he works for)...... anyway, we broke up, (he cheated) and he was paying me back in monthly instalements. First 300 per month and then it has dwindled down or missed payment here and there etc so basically he still owes me...

Virgin CC - 5000
Casd - approx 1500 (from missed payments etc)
Loan = 80.65 per month (his half) think due to run out July next year.

I don't think that there is anything I can do as it is all in my name??? It is really getting me down and have my own debts on top of all of this, starting to affect my new relationship too (something I do not want to happen). The problem is he has no regard for debt or paying it back so I know he really doesn't care whether its me or a court contacting him, it wouldn't bother him either way.

I know looking back I was foolish so really don't need reminding of that, remind myself enough. Just hoping someone may have some ideas or solutions or been in the same situation even.

Thanks.

MustStopSpending

Although I have no advice for you this is an interesting situation.

My boyfriend wants me to get a loan out for him, I don't feel 100% comfortable doing it, I'm not sure we will stay together and although I think he would pay me back if we split, your situation shows people can suddenly change.

I think as it is all in your name there is nothing you can do but someone more in the know is bound to have some better advice.

x

angelavdavis

I think you should take legal advice and get a solicitor to send him a letter to see if that rattles him. If not, perhaps a letter to his employer?

Burlesque_Babe

Hi there - sorry to hear your situation, I think others have been in the same boat as you on the board.

I can't offer any 'real' advice, but if everything is in your name, i'm not sure if there is anything you can do, the only thing I can think of is using the payments he gave you as some kind of 'proof' that he was paying you each month, but that might not hold any clout.

sorry I can't help more

pania

i do feel for you, i'd say pay a trip to your local citizens advice bureaux, they could let you know exactly what your options are here.

Best regards and let us know how you get on
xx

wherediditallgo

MustStopSpending wrote: »

Although I have no advice for you this is an interesting situation.

My boyfriend wants me to get a loan out for him, I don't feel 100% comfortable doing it, I'm not sure we will stay together and although I think he would pay me back if we split, your situation shows people can suddenly change.

Many years ago, a boyfriend asked me to sign as guarantor on a loan for him to get a car (we'd only been together a few weeks, the dreamer :rolleyes:). I refused, & he said that if I loved him I'd do it. I replied that if he loved me, he wouldn't ask me to do such a thing when he knew neither of us could guarantee our financial situations would remain the same. I didn't sign, & he didn't stay around much longer (what a surprise).

If you decide to loan the money, insist on a legal document being drawn up by a solicitor & signed by you both which will state what the money is for, how much is being loaned, the amount to be paid back each month over what period etc. That document will help you if he doesn't pay back the money, & will stand you in good stead if he goes bankrupt, & will make him realise that the loan is a serious matter. If he won't go along with signing such a document, then don't loan the money no matter how he whinges about it. My motto is never lend money that you can't afford to lose.

juliejim

I did exactly the same - took out a loan to pay off his CCJs as we were supposed to be getting married and he would be moving into my house. I didn't want anything like that associating with me so I paid everything off and he was supposed to pay me back. Two months later we split up and I never had another penny off him. He ended up owing me £10,000 which I've now eventually paid off but I didn't get anything off him towards it. Can't give you any advice I'm afraid but I just thought I'd let you know you're not the only one!

Jue

B2B-2008

I am also in the same position. My ex left me with a mortgage and also debt of £20000!!!. He never gave me any money to help me and I paid for everything myself for two years. This year thankfully he did sign the flat over to me, but I must add he did want money out of it. He never got any as I showed him all the bills he left me with. I am now slowly paying off this debt.

Conor_3

If there's nothing in writing, you're going to have a hard time proving what you lent him.

I think it's possibly one of these "expensive lesson" moments.

bella123

MustStopSpending wrote: »

Although I have no advice for you this is an interesting situation.

My boyfriend wants me to get a loan out for him, I don't feel 100% comfortable doing it, I'm not sure we will stay together and although I think he would pay me back if we split

x

how can you even think about getting a loan if ur not sure you going to stay together.