letting go...

oscar_uk_2

This may sound really silly but...

I've basically made the decision to file for bankruptcy but I'm finding it hard and worried about how it's going to affect my status.

Until a week ago all my payments (was advised to stop paying everything if I was going to go bankrupt) were up-to-date and I was managing to juggle everything (albeit paying huge amounts of interest). I hadn't been paying back any of the money I owed and just felt that I would be paying interest on the debt for the rest of my life.

The stupid part is my PRIDE. I'm worried about losing my Platinum cards and overdraft facilities and reasonable credit rating even though I know i'd been living way beyond my means. I'm worried about being looked down upon for the rest of my life. I've already started getting calls and letters about the late payments.

I know I don't have a hope of paying this money back and deparately need a fresh start but am wondering how hard it is to come to terms with only being allowed a basic bank account and having no credit rating.

I'm really rambling but I it's because I just feel so confused about whether I should do this but i feel like my only other option is to carry on living living a lie pretending I can handle these debts...

wherediditallgo

Firstly, ignore the letters & calls. If you're going BR in about a month or so, they'll end soon enough. Just keep the letters in a pile in case you need them for the OR.

As for getting used to not having the social kudos of credit cards etc, I found it surprisingly easy. Before going BR, I kept up the facade of doing well for myself by splashing the cash while using my gold cards to meet the bills, then going down the consolidation loan route, then not being able to make anything but minimum payments, all the time increasingly ignoring the letters from creditors. To anyone else, they'd never have guessed there was anything wrong, but it was pure front. When the day of reckoning came & BR was the only answer, pride & other people's opinion of me were the last things on my mind.

Spending money now is a very easy decision - if I haven't got the cash on me or in the account, I can't spend it. Your lack of a decent credit rating is no-one's business but yours & the people to whom you apply for credit, so there's no reason for anyone else to know unless you tell them. If you feel a lesser person after BR, that's down to you not down to others. In my eyes, my status is exactly the same now as it was before going BR (maybe even a bit higher), because I've never thought myself lesser than others & I don't allow people to get away with talking down to me. I've dealt with my debts in the best way possible for me, so anyone else's opinion on the issue doesn't matter to me. I'm not fooling anyone, least of all myself.

allofadither

I felt exactly the same way as you oscar, and continued to pay my creditors right up and until the day I went BR, but I also knew I was kidding myself and that realistically my debts were never going to get repaid. I was always robbing peter to pay paul, and just got very good at juggling everything, and pretending everything was OK.

I'm only a few weeks into my BR and I haven't found it all difficult being without debts or loans or credit cards, and managing with cash and a basic bank account is no problem. Emotionally it has been a little tougher, coming to terms with my own guilt about going BR, feeling like I'd let myself and my family down at first. But I'm adjusting to my new status quite nicely now and starting to accept and realise that most of my concerns and worries are uneccssary. I'm still living a very ordinary life....debt free, and quite honestly noone is any the wiser except me.