Ex not contributing towards debts - help

WickedWitch123

Hi there

As the title says, we have been separated for almost 2 years but ex is not contributing towards our joint debts.

I have taken legal advice and they have said that as part of a divorce petition I would need to submit a financial statement and I'm presuming the courts would decide who has to pay what.

Has anyone been in this situation. Because i'm paying for everything at the moment, i can't actually afford to petition for divorce.

Help!

matttye

You could write to your creditors highlighting your predicament and asking them to cut you some slack so you can afford to petition for divorce. It will benefit them in the long run as your ex-husband should be contributing towards the debts too afterwards.

gizmo111

No one can make hime pay, unless there are assets that could be liquidised and go straight to clear the debts.
What sort of debts are they?

Vikipollard

Why is he not contributing to the joint debts?

maginot

I presume by joint debts, this is a joint mortgage or loan where you are both liable for the debt. This means if he doesn't pay they will come after you for the full amount.
If this is credit card debt, this will only be in one persons name, if it his his name, stop paying. If yours you will have to continue to pay until a court decides which debts are who's and the amount of contribution for either side.
Even if he owes half the money, if you are jointly and severally liable you need to ensure it is paid, otherwise your credit rating would be damaged.

WickedWitch123

Hi there.
The debts are in both names. One is a sainsburys loan taken out about 5 years ago which has since been sold to a DCA. The other is a bank loan, again taken out around 5 years ago.

When i spoke to the DCA who owns the sainsburys loan i was told that I am joint and severally liable but i wasn't exactly sure what that meant. Ex told me he had sorted a payment plan with the DCA several months ago, only when i found out that i had a CCJ did i find out that he hadn't. My credit score has been in the toilet for a good few years now.

To answer the question as to why he isn't contributing - well thats the 64000 dollar question. Simply put, he walked away. I had to go through the CSA to get him to pay regular maintenance. Ive been trying to keep my head above water for me and my girls but i'm drowning and need to sort this out. He only earns just above NMW and I am the higher earner but surely this doesn't mean he gets off scot free?

jjj1980

Unfortunately, I have been/am in your position. My ex-husband had been telling me he had been paying house bills but was actually not doing and was hiding letters so I wouldn't find out.

My divorce was made absolute last year and unfortunately I am still in the position of paying the debts on my own. Took enforcement action by CSA to get any child support.

As the debts are classed as joint and severally liable, the companies will always chase the person they believe is most likely to pay/the one who responds to their letters and calls. It would be up to the court via the divorce to rule that your ex has to contribute but it will not have any effect on how he companies involved chase payment. Best outcome would be for the court to rule he has to pay you, however it could still be a long time and effort before you saw any money.

I sadly have come to the realisation that I can either tie myself up in knots and stress trying to continue to fight my ex for some contribution towards the debts or I just swallow my pride and get on with paying them. The second option is the one I have gone down with the knowledge that even if he will never admit it to anyone, he will always know that I straightened everything out without any input from him, whilst giving the daughter he believes he shouldn't have to support financially the best possible life I can. By no means am I saying it's right but I can sleep at night and hold me head up high.

Valli

What you do need to do, Wicked, is keep a record of what you are paying so that if/when a settlement is reached the fact that you have paid and he has not means he will get less in the settlement.
Ideally you need statements for the debts at the time you separated.

Just as assets at the time of separation are taken into consideration so are debts.

WickedWitch123

I think you may be right jjj1980. He's ignored them for 2 years and the DCA doesn't really care who pays them as long as they're paid. He doesn't care if his credit rating is trashed, he doesn't care if i/we go bankrupt - he just isn't interested. I'm sorry to hear that you have been through this too.

Valli - thank you for your advice. I have been keeping records of my payments so once i can afford to go down the divorce route this might come in handy.

Thanks for the advice, it is much appreciated.

Love this DFW forum.

WW xx

gizmo111

Is there a house involved - is there any equity?