A little vent re partners in calculations

lindsaygalaxy

I am on CSA2 and find this totally unfair.

I have a partner. All his income goes to providing for me and the kids. Its an average wage and after bills there is little left at the end of the month.

Ex has a partner. She works full time and earns a descent wage (actually similar job to me). Her income is not included in working out maintanance.

So my partner gives us all and the childrens fathers partner gives nothing, except for buying new cars and holidays abroad. Why is this?

Dumbe

Because your exes partner is not related by blood to your children.

Presumably your ex pays child support for his children based on his salary.

This amount is not dependent on whether you have a partner who is providing you financial support.

It is not for your exes partner to help you provide for your children... That's the job of the child's parents.

Even if your exes partner was a billionaire why should they give you money?.. Likewise if you won the lottery or your partner did that would have no bearing on how much your ex pays in child support.

swingaloo

Im living with a man who has paid CM for the past 14 years. Whilst I fully support the fact that he pays the money (I would detest him if he didn't) I don't understand why you think that part of my wage should also go to his child.

You have a partner who is part of your household and along with you contributes to it. That would apply if you had a child or didn't have a child. Your ex should be paying toward his child but from his pay. My partner pays towards his child from his pay which leaves us short each month but I work to keep the roof over our heads and enable him to support his child.

Your way would mean your household has 2 incomes and part of 2 more incomes (from your ex and his partner) whilst your ex's household has only 2 part incomes. That's fair?

lindsaygalaxy

My partner pays for children that are not his. Tax credits etc are based on my partner and my income, not me and my ex. Why should he pay for kids that re not his yet my exs partner does not have to pay for kids that are not hers?

So for example lets say that both households have the same income coming in, for arguements sake £2000 a month, and al rent etc is the same for both houses.

The household the children spends most of their time in has to pay for all school trips, clothes, school dinners, nursery, after school clubs, swimming lessons etc.

The other household where the children spend 30% of their time pays a set amount based on fathers income online say £200 a month.

£200 a month does not come close to covering all the amounts in the first household because it is based on 1 income, so the partnesr income in household 1 has to use his pay to support the family.


I can see why lots of partners of the person that lives in a seperate house and pays maintanance thinks that it is unfair that they should have to have their income included, but is it not also unfair that the partner in the 'main' house has no choice but to pay?

lindsaygalaxy

[/QUOTE] Even if your exes partner was a billionaire why should they give you money?.. Likewise if you won the lottery or your partner did that would have no bearing on how much your ex pays in child support.[/QUOTE]


It's not about giving me money, its about supporting his children. If my partner won the lottery he would spend most of it on the chidlren, even though they are not his. The children would still see their father yet financialy bet better supprted by a man that has no blood connection.

skibadee

I think the thought is that BOTH parents financially contribute towards children.

Also a NRP does not have their income calculated MINUS CM payments when Child tax credits etc., are calculated...whereas a PWC has CM disregarded when such things are calculated.......so swings and roundabouts really!!

Tiglath

I was in the position of your ex's partner back in the 90s - DH paid maintenance for his 2 kids to his exwife, and the CSA wanted to see details of my salary to make sure DH had enough household income to make sure he could survive. I didn't have a problem with that. In practice we treated the CM and additional child costs such as trips and hobbies as a joint obligation, and the ex-wife's second husband viewed the 2 original kids (plus the ex-wife's 2 additional kids, one of them his) as his responsibility as well. All 4 adults have always taken the view that we were all responsible for the 2 original kids (now adults), and that way we've avoided any bitterness. It left us short at times but both I and the second husband didn't have to take on partners with kids - that was our choice.

skibadee

Tiglath wrote: »

It left us short at times but both I and the second husband didn't have to take on partners with kids - that was our choice.

Having been both a PWC and a NRPP I completely agree Tiglath......it would easier for children and all round if all people felt and did the same.....lifes too short!!

withabix

lindsaygalaxy wrote: »

after bills there is little left at the end of the month.

This is normal.

Welcome to the real world.

sulkisu

[/QUOTE]


It's not about giving me money, its about supporting his children. If my partner won the lottery he would spend most of it on the chidlren, even though they are not his. The children would still see their father yet financialy bet better supprted by a man that has no blood connection.[/QUOTE]

If your ex is paying CM then surely he is supporting your children?

My ex pays child support based on his salary of £30k. I earn more than twice as much as he does and his ex feels the same way that you do, i.e. that her CM should be based on our joint salaries. She works the minimum hours needed to claim WTC, receives benefits and CM for 6 children (only the oldest 2 are with OH).

Meanwhile I work hard and make sacrifices to provide for my three children, so TBH this arrangement seems fair to me. I have no intention of supporting her household as well. I have helped OH to pay for things that his children needed when he has been short of money, but that has been my choice. I was far more generous about this before I had my children of my own.

OP, if the NRP's partners income was taken into account, have you considered what would happen if they suddenly stopped working? CM would be reduced.

Also, if your ex's partner earns a similar amount to you, and all of your partners' wages are used to support you and your children, then what does your 'pretty decent' wage and child support go on?

Tiglath

Indeed it is - we're unofficial uncle and aunt to the 2 younger kids, and it all works well. We've always taken the view that we're a weird blended family; DH goes to his ex's once a week to see the younger kids and have dinner with them all. His daughter is just establishing herself in her career and his son is a post-grad student, so we still support them to a certain extent - the daughter is just moving out into her own place in a couple of weeks, so while technically we could have stopped the maintenance for her when she turned 18 last summer, we've decided to continue to support her for a while in terms of helping furnish the flat etc. Family's more important than money. I suppose it's made easier in that I don't have kids of my own so to all intents and purposes I see them as mine as well.