Parent's eviction

laydeeqt

Hello all. I am a 26 year old woman who's parent's are unfortunately in financial crisis. My mother is a gambling addict and this has worsened over the years to the point their private rent is not being paid, and their landlord has said give me the money or get out. My father, although privy to my mother's gambling, was not aware that my mother wasn't paying rent as due to my father having a severe mental health conditon, he doesn't take control of the finances. My parents need to conjure up £850 for the rent by Friday which they won't be able to do. I have bailed them out twice before with £200 and £500 and I am of course, reluctant to do so again as nothing changes. Not only this, but i am also in debt by £4k myself with my credit card and if I was to lend them money, it would be from this credit card as i have no savings myself and also rent with my boyfriend and so have no money to lend them from my pay.

We have today been to the council and discussed their situation with a nice lady who says she will see what we can do about sheltered accomocation maybe. This is because their current rented place is £800 a month as it is 2 bed ( I left the property 3 years ago) and unaffordable for my mothers £800 a month income and my fathers £575 a month income (works part time but looking for a full time job to no avail as yet)

Basically, i want to know what you would do. Would you lend them £800? Or would you just provide support and not money. I feel bad not lending them the money however I also feel they are two adults who should take some responsibility for the prediciment that they are in, and I should not be funding my parents.

Please help!

agrinnall

I sympathise with the position you find yourself in, and to be honest I'm struggling to see a happy solution to this. I don't think putting yourself further into debt is going to help anyone, as it seems like any money that you lend your parents will simply put off what looks to be inevitable. The problem is your mother's gambling, and unless that stops something is always going to go wrong.

The big issue is what happens when the LL's eviction is eventually successful. If it was just your mother then I suspect the council might argue that she was responsible for making herself homeless, and help would be limited, but taking your father into account may give the council a greater responsibility for providing accommodation.

It's probably too complicated a situation to get very far on a forum, I would suggest that as well as pursuing it with the council you could discuss things with charities who may have greater expertise in this area, I'm thinking of Shelter and Gamblers Anonymous.

ValHaller

What agrinnall says. You have bailed them out twice, which is enough and to do it again is just throwing good money after bad.

BitterAndTwisted

If you actually had the £850 in savings and could face never seeing it again it would be one thing, but you don't.

If bailing them out for a third time would put an end to their difficulties all well and good, but it won't. It will be for a much larger sum next time, and I think you probably realise that.

G_M

Imagine if it was you with the problem. And suppose the problem was heroin addiction. Would you expect your parents to bail you out time after time?

Addicts will promise all sorts of things, but will always return to their addiction unless 'cured'.

The only way I would agree to help financially would be if your mother agreed:

a) to give you Power of Attourney - you could then manage her finances, banks etc
b) to let you take control of her income (ie it comes to you before she gets a chance to gamble it away)
c) for you to pay her rent, utilities and other basic expenses
d) you could then pass her whatever income is left each month after bills are paid, for her to spend on clothes, meals out, personal expenses and.... gambling....