Dealing with the post-wedding blues?

daisiegg

Ok, all you ladies who have been there (I know some of you still hang around!)

How did you deal with the post-wedding blues?

I have just got back from honeymoon and feel, tbh, pretty wretched. Even though I know logically I have a great life and should be excited about starting married life (which I am!) I can't shake just feeling so incredibly miserable.

I was planning the wedding for over a year and, with the exception of a very few small blips, I loved every minute of it. I loved the excitement and anticipation, the way it seemed to bring me closer to family and friends (always something to talk about/plans to be made/things to organise, friends who were invited to the wedding wanting to catch up before it, etc), and (I'll be honest!) the way it was 'my time' in a way. I looked forward to the day SO MUCH (and it really lived up to my expectations) and now...somehow...it is just over

Now all I have to deal with is what seems like the never-ending chore of doing name change stuff, which is NOT as exciting as planning a wedding! Plus I am on a broken foot after breaking it on my wedding morning and while it was manageable on honeymoon to hobble from our room to the beach, I know the reality of spending 6 weeks on crutches, unable to drive, and working (and I don't do a sitting-down job either) is just going to be rubbish.

So to sum up...I feel MISERABLE!! Any words of wisdom? Those of you who are a bit further away from your wedding, how did you deal with this? I'm sure it can't just be me...

Skintski

At least you will have plenty of time to go through your honeymoon snaps, you could upload them all onto one of the photo sites and cheer yourself up by making a honeymoon photo album or similar. Maybe put some of your wedding bits and pieces together and build a memory box of the day, things that make you smile and remind you of just how great the day was. Often just re-living stuff with friends over a glass of wine helps and they can fill you in on the moments often missed by those hosting.

Sorry I can't be much help as I've not got there yet but I hope you find something to make you smile.

FBaby

If you've only just come back, it's normal. I feel like this coming back from any holiday and always think it will go on forever, but after a few days back at work, I move on and start planning the next one!

I would give myself a couple of weeks and accept that it is normal. However odd it is, it is a bit like grief. You focus all your energy on one thing, and now that thing is gone. You now need to think forward and plan something else (to a smaller scale for most people!).

If however you still feel like this in a month's time, then that wouldn't really be normal and be reflective of a feeling of depression and you will need to look at why you can't move on. Is it being the center of attention you miss the most, in which case you need to understand why that is, or is it the planning, in which case, you might want to look at a job that involves mainly planning, or is it the closeness with friends and family, in which case, you need to organise parties and getting together for the rest of the year.

For most people, it is just a case of refocussing your priorities and thoughts, and you will soon feel back to your own self.

74jax

I'm in my 4th month of a broken foot aand its !!!!.

Try buying an across the shoulder bag to carry things around thee house. We employed a cleaner as OH just do it right......

Have everything to hand in the kitchen so if you want a drink you can make one. Leave a seat in the kitchen as you won't be able to carry a cup.

If yyou have a computer chair bring it downstairs to sit and carry things on.

Use carrybags to help move things with your crutches.

Driving sucks, I attempted the bus once but the horror of 'will I have a seat' and 'what if I can't get on' put me off.

I have worked throughout and its been my saviour. Lots seem to think you should be at home, but I'm a PA so could sit, I put my foot on a bit but was told unless its above my heart ice packs are fine.

It is horrid, I can't say its not but you learn to adapt. 2 of my bones have healed and my cuboid is still broke but I can walk on it now which is amzing.

Walking is so underrated!

cats2012

Daisy I feel your pain ! I was ok for the first week or so and now I'm a bit down we still have honeymoon to look forward to but I miss spending time planning with my Mum and sister and chatting to all my friends about it - I've already been to another hen do since the wedding and felt a bit pants that my time in the limelight is all done with

Need something new to focus on I think!! Any ideas?? (babies = veto!)

MrsDrink

I began to plan Christmas . We invited 12 of our immediate family over for a little gathering between Christmas and New Year, so I had lots to organise. I bought loads of new decorations, made a wreath and garlands. I made everyone an individual cracker with their favourite miniature tipple in. It was a 'bring a course' gathering to save me from having to do a buffet for so many so I had to organise who was bringing what. I also searched all my Christmas presents early. *Ah* I even had a spreadsheet.
Then after Christmas I got a new job which so far is taking up most of my spare time.
It has eased me off wedding planning nicely... although there are days where I think back to it. I would do it all again in a heartbeat I loved the planning side of it.

katie1812

I still have them 7 months on!! As a family though, we still talk about the day and the build up and I don't know how many times I've looked through my photo album.

Who would have thought all the build up would be missed hey?!

I would say enjoy what you have and continually reminisce, go out with your bridesmaids etc, and look at photos! You have the rest of your lives together.. and who knows what exciting things that will bring

ellay864

I built a website as a kind of online memory. Took me better part of 6 months but I included information about us, photos of the zoo, the vows (we wrote our own), the readings, links to youtube clips of the songs, details all about my dress, the cake and all the little odds and ends, and then linked to my blog site where I wrote a detailed diary of the day.
I still love looking back at it now

daisiegg

Thanks for the replies

I was back at work this week so had no time/energy to come back and type a proper response to the thread, sorry! So now I will reply to what people have said

daisiegg

MrsDrink wrote: »

I began to plan Christmas .

That sounds lovely! I suspect those around me would start to think I was a bit mental if I started planning Christmas in April...but it is certainly something to think about privately

katie1812 wrote: »

I still have them 7 months on!! As a family though, we still talk about the day and the build up and I don't know how many times I've looked through my photo album.

Who would have thought all the build up would be missed hey?!

I would say enjoy what you have and continually reminisce, go out with your bridesmaids etc, and look at photos! You have the rest of your lives together.. and who knows what exciting things that will bring

I think one of the other things that is depressing is my MOH was my sister and she had to immediately go back to university (she is a medical student) and bury herself in studying for big exams so I won't see her for ages and haven't even really spoken to her. And my other bridesmaid, and best friend, moved out of the country the day after the wedding! So I don't have anyone to reminisce with really...

ellay864 wrote: »

I built a website as a kind of online memory. Took me better part of 6 months but I included information about us, photos of the zoo, the vows (we wrote our own), the readings, links to youtube clips of the songs, details all about my dress, the cake and all the little odds and ends, and then linked to my blog site where I wrote a detailed diary of the day.
I still love looking back at it now

That sounds lovely

daisiegg

cats2012 wrote: »

Daisy I feel your pain ! I was ok for the first week or so and now I'm a bit down we still have honeymoon to look forward to but I miss spending time planning with my Mum and sister and chatting to all my friends about it - I've already been to another hen do since the wedding and felt a bit pants that my time in the limelight is all done with

Need something new to focus on I think!! Any ideas?? (babies = veto!)

Well everyone expects us to start immediately on babies - but I don't want to yet!! Definitely want them within the next couple of years but not right now...and I think that is quite surprising to my friends and family. Even DH said something recently to the effect of "Well you might be pregnant by Christmas" to which I replied I THINK NOT!!! :rotfl:I want one more champagne fuelled Christmas please first! :rotfl:

Glad to see I am not the only one feeling a bit down though.

74jax wrote: »

I'm in my 4th month of a broken foot aand its !!!!.

Try buying an across the shoulder bag to carry things around thee house. We employed a cleaner as OH just do it right......

Have everything to hand in the kitchen so if you want a drink you can make one. Leave a seat in the kitchen as you won't be able to carry a cup.

If yyou have a computer chair bring it downstairs to sit and carry things on.

Use carrybags to help move things with your crutches.

Driving sucks, I attempted the bus once but the horror of 'will I have a seat' and 'what if I can't get on' put me off.

I have worked throughout and its been my saviour. Lots seem to think you should be at home, but I'm a PA so could sit, I put my foot on a bit but was told unless its above my heart ice packs are fine.

It is horrid, I can't say its not but you learn to adapt. 2 of my bones have healed and my cuboid is still broke but I can walk on it now which is amzing.

Walking is so underrated!

Ah Ajax, your situation sounds way worse than mine. Luckily I have only broken one bone in my foot and it is the far left bone so I can even hobble around by putting my weight on the right hand side of my foot to get say between bed and the toilet etc (though I am not technically meant to do this and I pay for it with pain later!) I have no plaster on it, just a boot thing and that means around the house I can walk around a bit without crutches as the boot thing keeps the weight off the broken part. At least it means I can carry things around the house.

I am going to work as I am a teacher and it is crucial exam term! I am on crutches at work and finding it sooooooooo painful and exhausting my foot is killing me, my arms and back are killing me from the crutches and it is rubbish It is virtually impossible to teach sitting down so I am on my feet a lot.

It is the lack of independence I hate - being stranded unable to drive and at work having to rely on people to carry things for me, open doors etc. As well as the pain! Does it get less painful?!

FBaby wrote: »

If you've only just come back, it's normal. I feel like this coming back from any holiday and always think it will go on forever, but after a few days back at work, I move on and start planning the next one!
.

Thanks for your reply. I know what you mean, and I do the same with holidays - but the thing is, there is always another holiday to plan (usually our next holiday is already booked before we get back from the current one) but there is not another wedding to plan!! :rotfl:

I do feel a bit better already though. I think having the broken foot is not helping as it just makes everything that bit more difficult and it also means we can't very easily do some of the things we were planning to do pretty soon after the honeymoon to cheer ourselves up - things like going out for dinner, going to the theatre, weekend in Paris etc - just not practical on crutches! We have little things to look forward to like getting the photos, getting the gifts, but when those things are over it feels like it is just going to be a bit of a miserable time until I am off crutches As I said, we had anticipated this and had planned little dates and treats to cheer ourselves up and celebrate the start of married life but these are going to have to be very much postponed for a couple of months!

I will stop moaning and feeling sorry for myself anyway. I am ok really...onwards and upwards!