FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

paulineb_2

tayforth wrote: »

Thanks for all the getting-to-sleep suggestions. I'll try an audiobook, it might help!

I'm not really drinking much ATM, and I know - it makes for poor quality sleep.

Pauline, my employer is very strict about sick absence, honestly. And they've issued warnings to people who've been laid up with a broken leg or appendicitis i.e. they could not physically be at work.

I had been fully expecting a written warning. Even though, when I went to see Personnel, I broke down crying and could barely speak.

I know, it doesn't seem at all fair - but that's their policy. And it had been playing on my mind a lot, I was quite worried about it. So I'm relieved.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, that's terrible. My heart goes out to her. I take it the officer was acting in a private capacity when they told this lie? How awful. Were they disciplined?

No it was their child who told the lie. Very long story but he and his family up sticks and moved not long after, we believe they were told to but no, nothing happened to him despite the police complaints body (am in scotland so its different than down south) admitting that there were massive irregularities (and then some) in the way my mum was treated.

He used his influence as a serving officer to cause my mum harm and it did, but shes ok now, shes back at work and has been for over a year and we are doing ok now

2012 was a write off though, was so glad to see the back of it.

tayforth

paulineb wrote: »

No it was their child who told the lie. Very long story but he and his family up sticks and moved not long after, we believe they were told to but no, nothing happened to him despite the police complaints body (am in scotland so its different than down south) admitting that there were massive irregularities (and then some) in the way my mum was treated.

He used his influence as a serving officer to cause my mum harm and it did, but shes ok now, shes back at work and has been for over a year and we are doing ok now

2012 was a write off though, was so glad to see the back of it.

How terrible for your mum, poor woman. How old was the child?

paulineb_2

tayforth wrote: »

How terrible for your mum, poor woman. How old was the child?

7 or 8. I pity that poor child growing up in that family, although I cant have much pity for her after what she did, the trouble she caused.

My mum is doing fine and shes looking really well. She was 6 stones 10 early last year with the stress of it all, shes now 8 and a half stones. We had a lot of support from people who mattered and the people who didnt care, they dont matter.

If the father hadnt been a senior police officer, none of it would ever got as far as it did. I bet shes not the only person whose live hes tried to ruin, but hopefully we made such a fuss, he'll think twice before doing it to someone else.

tayforth

Goodness.

I wish your mum all the best, she's been through such a lot of stress by the sound of it xxx

tayforth

I'm now back to work full-time, and getting on ok - although it can be stressful and frustrating, I feel more confident than I did before I came back.

I haven't been sleeping great, and (confession time) I do give in sometimes and take a Nytol. One night I lay awake until 4am, then had to get up for work - that was the last straw. I need sleep. But I try not to take them more than twice a week.

This weekend will be a big challenge - first weekend in my house since before the summer. I've made a few social plans so that I won't be staring at the four walls.

During the week, though, I haven't gone out and done anything. So much for my plan for a new sparkling social life. I need to stick to that plan, or rather get back on it.

I've been coming home, going for a walk if it's dry (at least I'm doing that) and then just staying in all evening. Not vegging in front of the TV - I've been continuing my thorough declutter of my house. I'm going into every nook and cranny. It'll take time, but it's starting to look tidier and more organised.

Last night, I started on the kitchen. Threw out the OOD food, organised my shelves etc. It looks so much more inviting and actually makes me want to cook!

Next step: plan to take a night off the tidying and go out.

marisco_2

I think you are doing really well tayforth. You are back at work, holding down what sounds like quite a stressful job. Managing your home and getting it how you want it to be. Your focus is also on keeping a healthy balance to your life, finding ways to make sure you are not sat in on your own, staring at four walls feeling lonely and down. Considering all you have been through I think you are thinking and planning with great clarity. That takes real resilience. Think of it as following the aeroplane rule. You have to grab that oxygen mask and make sure you are looked after first, before you can function properly or apply yourself to anything else.

When_the_going_gets_tough

Tayforth, just a thought, I think you mentioned way back at the beginning that you are quite sporty/like being physically active. Maybe now is the time for taking up some regular physical activity, of whatever sort appeals to you. The exercise is great for endorphins? (s) helping your mood, de-stressing and helping you sleep. It could also function as a social activity or not depending on your mood. Having a regular activity even if you don't really feel like it can help . I should of course follow my own advice!

tayforth

Hello everyone. I've had a really lovely weekend.

I went out on Friday night in a great mood to meet an old friend, who is always interesting and lively company. We had a few drinks and a great chat. She's divorced, so she knows what I'm going through.

On Saturday, I had a lie in then pottered around the local charity shops, before meeting up with another group of friends. We had a real laugh together. I felt so relaxed sitting in the bar in the midst of all the banter - and no tension or sinking feeling like I used to have when I was pretending to them that I was ok. They commented on the difference in me in the last 6 months, and said that they were proud of me.

Yesterday, I spent the morning and afternoon doing some more decluttering (I'm being very thorough so it's taking ages!). In the late afternoon, I went to meet another friend for coffee. We hadn't seen each other in ages (we live quite far apart), but we keep in touch via FB. Again, it was lovely to just chat and have a laugh.

I came home feeling totally refreshed and happy, and very thankful for the good company I'd had all weekend. As I turned the key in the lock, I reminded myself how lucky I am that I could afford to keep on my house and pay all the bills. It is becoming my little haven now. I'm not going to move - this side of the new year anyway. I'm quite content.

tayforth

marisco wrote: »

I think you are doing really well tayforth. You are back at work, holding down what sounds like quite a stressful job. Managing your home and getting it how you want it to be. Your focus is also on keeping a healthy balance to your life, finding ways to make sure you are not sat in on your own, staring at four walls feeling lonely and down. Considering all you have been through I think you are thinking and planning with great clarity. That takes real resilience. Think of it as following the aeroplane rule. You have to grab that oxygen mask and make sure you are looked after first, before you can function properly or apply yourself to anything else.

Thanks so much, marisco. I do feel stronger as time goes on, it's amazing. How I got through the darkest times, I don't know - now that I'm feeling better, I shudder to think about the few months before I broke free.

How are you? PM me xxx

When_the_going_gets_tough wrote: »

Tayforth, just a thought, I think you mentioned way back at the beginning that you are quite sporty/like being physically active. Maybe now is the time for taking up some regular physical activity, of whatever sort appeals to you. The exercise is great for endorphins? (s) helping your mood, de-stressing and helping you sleep. It could also function as a social activity or not depending on your mood. Having a regular activity even if you don't really feel like it can help . I should of course follow my own advice!

Thank you WTGGT :A and yes - I like the idea of taking up regular exercise. I must have a look and see what's on near me. I went to a couple of Zumba classes last year, it was a real laugh.

jackieblack

tayforth wrote: »

Hello everyone. I've had a really lovely weekend.

I went out on Friday night in a great mood to meet an old friend, who is always interesting and lively company. We had a few drinks and a great chat. She's divorced, so she knows what I'm going through.

On Saturday, I had a lie in then pottered around the local charity shops, before meeting up with another group of friends. We had a real laugh together. I felt so relaxed sitting in the bar in the midst of all the banter - and no tension or sinking feeling like I used to have when I was pretending to them that I was ok. They commented on the difference in me in the last 6 months, and said that they were proud of me.

Yesterday, I spent the morning and afternoon doing some more decluttering (I'm being very thorough so it's taking ages!). In the late afternoon, I went to meet another friend for coffee. We hadn't seen each other in ages (we live quite far apart), but we keep in touch via FB. Again, it was lovely to just chat and have a laugh.

I came home feeling totally refreshed and happy, and very thankful for the good company I'd had all weekend. As I turned the key in the lock, I reminded myself how lucky I am that I could afford to keep on my house and pay all the bills. It is becoming my little haven now. I'm not going to move - this side of the new year anyway. I'm quite content.

Lovely to hear you sounding so positive and happy

Yay, go Tayforth! :T
:dance: :dance: :dance: