MMD - Girlfriend's sister's birthday meal

BiddableD

Hi guys, wondering what the community thinks on this one and what you think I should do.

I currently live with my girlfriend and we are desperately trying to save for a house deposit to move out of our tiny flat.

It's her sister's birthday today and her mother has booked a table for us all at a local restaurant. My girlfriend has just found out about this and wants to know if I'll be going.

The problem is that I really do not like this restaurant. I've been there several times with her family for various occasions and its always been terrible food.

Plus money is tight at the moment as we are trying to save for a house and if I did go, I'd be expected to pay for both myself and my girlfriend.

Im really not keen on having to pay for 2x meals at a restaurant I dont like because the table has been booked before we were even asked. What should I do?

We have already bought birthday presents for her sister and I suggested we could offer to babysit her baby one night as well so she could have a night out with her friends.

Valli

Given you weren't warned about this you will have to decline on the grounds that you already are committed to something else;) but you are, of course, happy to do the childcare for her for another night, as you've suggested. What's your GF's take on this?

Mojisola

BiddableD wrote: »

if I did go, I'd be expected to pay for both myself and my girlfriend.

In addition to Valli's good advice - why would you have to pay for both meals? Doesn't your GF have her own money?

As she wants you to go for a meal with her family to celebrate her sister's birthday, why isn't she paying for you?

BiddableD

Valli wrote: »

What's your GF's take on this?

She's not happy at my reluctance to go. But then.. she is getting a free meal out of it if I go so understandable :P

BiddableD

Mojisola wrote: »

In addition to Valli's good advice - why would you have to pay for both meals? Doesn't your GF have her own money?

We have an agreement where I pay for food and she pays for petrol (As she needs a car for work).

Mojisola

BiddableD wrote: »

We have an agreement where I pay for food and she pays for petrol (As she needs a car for work).

Does that work out roughly the same? Sounds as if she's getting a good deal out of that arrangement.

Valli

BiddableD wrote: »

We have an agreement where I pay for food and she pays for petrol (As she needs a car for work).

But this isn't food; it's entertainment and socialising!

Anyway, another idea...

'Sorry we won't be able to make it at (time meal is booked) as we already have a commitment but we could join you later for a drink, if that's ok?'

Then you eat at home and toddle off to the restaurant later!

BiddableD

Mojisola wrote: »

Does that work out roughly the same? Sounds as if she's getting a good deal out of that arrangement.

Oh she is getting a good deal out of it! Although I dont really mind as I do earn slightly more than her.

What im not keen on though is splashing out for expensive restaurant meals I wont even enjoy and when i've already budgeted and bought the week's meals last weekend during the weekly shop.

Mojisola

BiddableD wrote: »

What im not keen on though is splashing out for expensive restaurant meals I wont even enjoy and when i've already budgeted and bought the week's meals last weekend during the weekly shop.

Then say no in a way that won't have too big a comeback on you.

burnoutbabe

you really need to change that arrangement, food is not the same as meals out!

Just say she can go but you have other plans/long day at work. Though if everyone else is bringing partners, then sometimes one just has to do these things with family.

BiddableD

burnoutbabe wrote: »

Though if everyone else is bringing partners, then sometimes one just has to do these things with family.

I'd be the only partner. It'd be her parents, brother, sister, sister's baby and us (baby's dad isnt around anymore, hence why I said we should offer to babysit instead).