It's almost prom time!

pigpen

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I don't feel owned and know that I will never own anyone else. We only 'own' ourselves and even that's debatable if you're remotely religious.

Marriage is a formal sign of life long commitment to most/many people. It has nothing to do with expensive weddings, names or anyone else outside the marriage. It's a shame you didn't experience its benefits, although I am sure you are far from alone in that. I'm not sure it could be described as being archaic, since monogamy isn't a traditional practice.

with origins in owning women and slavery it is pretty archaic, the dowry, arranged marriages, the father 'giving away' his daughter pretty much says it all. I am not to be bought, given or taken.

I have children.. they are far more a committment than a piece of paper and a ring which can be undone in a few months undoing a 22 year old proves a little complex.

Religion I feel is also an outdated archaic concept used to scare the primitive uneducated masses into compliance with so much contradiction and breeding of hatred. There have been more people killed in the name of religion than anything else.. we are now educated and can form our own opinions... each to their own though, I wouldn't force my opinion on others and I wouldn't be pleased if someone else tried forcing theirs on me.. which is probably why my children attend church until they are old enough to form their own opinion of its teachings based on their own experiences.. we discuss their feelings, mine and other peoples belief systems, they can then make an informed choice.

I hope my children DO agree with me.. they are the reason I got rid of their nasty father (that and he couldn't keep his pants on) they are the reason I kept his name after getting rid of him (that and I loathe my maiden name) They know I would support them whatever decision they made (though I would share my feelings because we have that kind of relationship) because it their life to live not mine. I would rather they lived with someone they loved and were happy than they were married feeling trapped with someone they felt they were obligated to stay with because of a stupid piece of paper.

And my daughter is still adamant she is never marrying anyone lol.. she may change her mind we shall see... I'm still not funding a wedding though.

Poppy9

Dunroamin wrote: »

If your relatives are in their late twenties then they would only have been doing this ten years ago - hardly long enough to call it a tradition!

I don't recall calling it a tradition. Someone asked how long they had been going on and I could recall my neices and nephews attending proms.

mumps

But why do we call it a prom, that is an American term?

I hate all the hype, the "popular" girls showing off about how expensive their dresses are, who is having the best limo, who has the best date. It always seems like they get their kicks out of excluding the nerdy kids, the poor kids, the geeky kids. Bring back the school disco.

Person_one

mumps wrote: »

But why do we call it a prom, that is an American term?

I hate all the hype, the "popular" girls showing off about how expensive their dresses are, who is having the best limo, who has the best date. It always seems like they get their kicks out of excluding the nerdy kids, the poor kids, the geeky kids. Bring back the school disco.

I expect 'prom' has just become the most used term because of the amount of American film and TV aimed at teenagers.

Most of them are basically a glorified school disco, I think. I was disappointed by that, I thought someone should have at least made a speech or something a bit different to acknowledge that leaving school was a major transition for us.

lanavdt

My ball was 11 years ago now and some girls spent a fortune. I borrowed my mum's lbs, wore my fave shoes and did my own hair and makeup. The only costs I had was the price of the ticket and a new pair of tights!

Spendless

There wasn't anything when I left school in 1983 you just turned up on the last day. Mr S has a lot of cousins and though his Canadian ones always had a prom. His younest cousin living in England finished yr 11 in 2001 and there was still no proms. By the time his neice was finishing yr 11 in 2007 she had one and wasn't the first year group to do so, so somewhere between those two dates they became commonplace.

Felicity

There is some irony in a few posts here. Surely it is all relative to your circumstances.

Some posters are 'aghast' at certain levels of expenditure but then go on to say it is ok for these kids to have manicures, updoes, professional make-up etc.

Why not live and just let live without being 'shocked' at what others spend?

And no, I don't have a child or relative anywhere near prom age.

duchy

pigpen wrote: »

did you read the bit about the surname???

And if she is stupid enough to get married she can pay for it herself.

I've heard of some weird reasons for not getting married but this is the best so far

Many women don't take their husband's surnames nowadays y'know

YOU think marriage is outdated.....but surely expecting your children to hold exactly the same views as you is equally outdated ?

Poppy9

Re beauty appointments for prom. Like many slightly older posters I too found it strange how much the younger generation indulge in visiting beauty salons.

I had never stepped into one till about 3 years ago. When I married 26 years ago I had my hair done but then did my own make up, nails etc. as I'm not even sure there was a beauty parlour anywhere in my City.

Now they are everywhere. DD persuaded me when she was 15 that I too should get my eyebrows waxed and I have to admit I wish I had discovered this years ago.

I also had my first manicure when she bought it for me as a gift and now as a treat to myself I sometimes get my nails painted. I've also had my make up done, just for the helll of it.

Before DD started work she would often get beauty parlour gift cards as birthday/christmas presents from family and friends. If they had been about when I was her age I would have loved it.

Sneezy

I left school in 2003 and there was a Yr11 prom - I didn't go as it was before exams had even started (bright intelligent school!). It took place at least the year before too.

When I left 6th form in 2005 I went - my dress cost ~£40, my Grandad paid for me to have my hair done i had shoes/handbag from attending a wedding, also had a lift there and back.

Middle sister (11months younger than me) it cost my parents much the same & my Grandad paid for her hair to be put up too.

When younger sister left yr11 in 2009 she shared a limo with her friends and I think the dress cost ~£120 & my grandad paid for her hair to be done too.

Definitely wouldn't like to think about the cost if we were leaving school now!