Change of circumstances

kevin137

@ Daredevil

And i bet you still run a car, have a mobile phone and drink occasionally... All luxuries that are exactly that, a luxury, yet you choose to do them but complain about Child Support...

The system is what it is... And lots of people complain, yet no one seems to do anything about it apart from complain or not pay...

How about changing it if you are not happy, you could run for MP and if you get in you would have some influence and earn a decent wage...!!!

Fclamp1

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I understand why people leave this forum after posting! As soon as we get on the subject of CSA - there are some evil peeps on here! After 10 years, Vodkaburner ask for some help/info and is castigated for not keeping it in his trousers. No consideration of his personal circumstances or how he has ended up where he is. He is a BAD MAN!

shoe*diva79

Fclamp1 wrote: »

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I understand why people leave this forum after posting! As soon as we get on the subject of CSA - there are some evil peeps on here! After 10 years, Vodkaburner ask for some help/info and is castigated for not keeping it in his trousers. No consideration of his personal circumstances or how he has ended up where he is. He is a BAD MAN!

Where do you see that then? Daredevil has expressed his concern that he cannot afford £25 a week for his child but has gone on to have more children (he cant afford?!) but as far as I can see Vodka has had sound advice from form members.

As a note, if you read back through Daredevils posts on other threads, you will see he is continually trying to find a way from wriggling out of his obligations. As a new poster, you obviously haven't seen this so maybe before 'having a go', look at all the facts?

Fclamp1

shoe*diva79
Having looked back at your posts I think maybe you have an axe to grind. You take no consideration of the posters circumstances. Could be this is not of his choosing. Since the breakup he has moved on, but according to you, he should weigh up financially whether he should have more children irrespective of the PWC's circs. She could be in a relationship with a person of reasonable means - but not ACTUALLY living with them. Surely, all children should be included in the equation - those in the subsequent relationship as well as the original ones. Or in your mind are the subsequent children not of equal value? Lots of people have fractured relationships but try to make the best of them - why should this not be valued? Have you never heard of step-brother/sister? Step mother/father? Or maybe you have but that relationship didn't work for you, hence your antagonism?

shoe*diva79

Yes, all children in Daredevils situation have been taken into consideration, with his firstborn receiving approx £25 a week and his subsequent children receiving approx £180per week.

And yes, I have heard of step children. I have 2 children myself, my youngest being born after careful consideration if we could afford her after taking into consideration the costs of raising my firstborn, but also my OH 2 children from a previous relationship.

Everyone is entitled to move on, forge new relationships etc. But why plan to have more children when your trying to get out of your legal (and moral) obligation to contribute to the costs of raising a child?

Just my opinion, your entitled to yours :-)

justontime

It isn't always as simple as that. In our case my children lived with us with no other support (because my first husband had died). My husband was paying child support (on CS1) and the PWC was still able to get a departure on NRPP ability to contribute to housing costs. It felt as if my children didn't count. When my daughters claimed EMA and then university grants the amount they received was based on my husbands full income, but a chunk of that income was quite rightly going to support his children so it wasn't available to our household to support my children. I am sure if you asked the PWC she could also come up with a list of injustices concerning CSA. I don't think it is possible for any system to be fair to everyone - but sometimes it feels as if we are all looses with csa!

In our case it has helped that I care very much about my step children, I want the best outcome for them as well as for my own children. It is absolutely right that their father should support them and I would think less of him if he tried to evade his responsibility, but we have had some very worrying times financially trying to do our best for everyone. I love my husband very much, but if I had known how hard it would be to cope financially I would have had second thoughts about marrying him because my children would have been better off if I had stayed single (widowed). On the other hand despite the financial hardships they have a step father who cares very much about them and they have a close relationship with their step siblings, so it is not all bad.

fedupandhurt

@Vodkaburner
@Fclamp1
@Daredevil78

Even i have noticed that the two posters shoediva and kevin seem to have a lot of hatred and anger inside them when you read there posts.

In fact it was better when kevin retired from the forum for a while they both seem anti low wage and anti anybody on benefits.

kevin137

Really...??? I worked 2 sometimes 3 jobs to support mine...

Do i have a problem with lazy no good a**eholes that don't work, of course i do, like most of the country.

Do i target them...? No i think some people need to receive help, but you also need to own up to your responsibility. Do you really think that you are going to change anything about the amount you have to pay...???

Lets break it down, you earn x amount, and you should pay x amount, why should you pay any less than joe bloggs who also earns x amount, if your circumstances are the same you pay the same amount, children have the same worth, just some parents choose to !!!!! about how hard done by they are...!!!

I paid for years thank you, and when times where hard i sold personal belongings and worked more to make ends meet...

There is NO excuse for not providing for your children, NONE, and if you don't like my opinion then tough, because that is how most of the population would see it...! You made your bed, go lay in it...!!!

DAREDEVIL78

tarring every NRP with the same brush by SOME members is wrong , I appreciate that a quick reply or post doesn't provide every detail of someones life that a member might need to base advice on , but I would always give someone the benefit of doubt rather than being narrowminded !!!

shoediva for example , I appreciate you don't know my particular circumstances but I will explain a bit more for you regards having more children . . . . when I left my ex who I have a child to for whom the csa is involved this is the same parent/ex who I had to leave after receiving domestic violence abuse so after starting a new relationship (in time) with someone else who I became married to and had further children with, are YOU honestly suggesting I shouldn't have had further children whether I could or couldn't financially afford it , life is like this in a real world , I didn't ask to be domestically abused but when I chose a path to end that particular relationship for my own sake does that mean I cant have further children ???? even though it might be financially tight for me , that wouldn't seem fair to my new partnereither to say to her '' hey we cant have further kids because I have to pay for my first child to a violent ex ''.


I agree I will always have a financial responsibility for the child to my abusive ex but I CANT recall stating in my posts ever trying to getaway with paying maintenance . . more myself trying to enquire/post for info as for how to pay for my first child but also making sure that my family can afford to live therefore covering everybody necessary .


To those members who seemed to see the other side/my side therefore giving the benefit of the doubt, thanks, because I was extremely disheartened with narrowminded advisers to a point where I felt like closing my account on here .

I appreciate any advice even if it seems like something someone wouldn't want to hear yet beneficial, but to get personal/blunt with no thought for BOTH parties of a query/post is so annoying !!!!! you know who you are !!!! :mad:

kevin137

Do you appreciate the advice though...???

I know you are aiming your anger at me for being outspoken, but i am not bothered by that...

If an earlier post you said...

"What happens if 15% figure just isn't there ?"

Well there are many many people in that boat...!!! And as i said, sometimes i worked 2 or 3 jobs to pay, which of course means you pay more, meaning that you pay more for longer cos the CSA don't always reassess so quickly when your circumstances, so you see the problem i had... I earn more so i can pay i must earn more to pay... And this after the ex getting EVERYTHING and me having to start again...! Fair NO, complaints, yes, but only to the CSA for the legality of what they did and how they went about it, never about the correct amount that should be paid, it is 15% and that is it, nothing i can do about that, and i NEVER complained about that like you have... And i know about violence, i left because of it as well, the difference is the police tried to arrest me for it because they always believe the woman...!!! Oh no they don't not after being shown CCTV that proves she attacked me... But again, i never not once didn't pay what i had too, regardless of what she was in my mind...!!!

Kids grow up remembering, mine knows all the lies she told, all the trouble his mum caused, how she manipulated him etc etc, but she is his mum and loves her, but i am part of his life and he is old enough to make his own choices, and because he knows exactly what i went through to pay we have that...

And also, while i am writing, you never answered the question i posted back up the thread... Do you drive, smoke, drink...??? Just curious... Or is that none of my business because it is normal that people do that...???