'Middle class'

Carl31

Treevo wrote: »

Or you have no idea how much their income is. I know which is more likely.

Good for you man

squack

class isn't just about money

there are certain indicators of it though

for example, real christmas tree or artificial ?

:money:

BritAbroad

I think a lot of this is 'grass is greener' syndrome. But everyone has facets of their life that other people admire, and which other people would run a mile from! I had a friend comment on the gadgets and gizmos on my car compared to hers. The difference is, I bought a used car, whereas for the same money she bought a new one. Yes, it would have been nice to buy a new car, but for me the features were more important. It's a trade off. I don't spend money on childcare which means I can choose to spend it elsewhere. I have a friend who moans about how expensive everything is, but she buys wine every month, whereas I think I've spent less than a tenner on alcohol over the past year. I'd like a new kitchen like another friend, but I wouldn't want 4 kids and all the hassles of children that she has. Each to their own.

I'm involved in a few sports and activities which have led people to wrinkle up their noses and go 'oooh, very posh'. TBH, I think that attitude says more about them than it does about me, as I'm involved in these things because I genuinely love doing them. I can't be bothered with petty jealousies, and I do think true class comes from showing good manners and treating everyone with courtesy.

MrsE_2

Ladyhawk wrote: »

. I also don't understand having children and then paying someone else to bring them up.

Unless you are very high earners then you need two wages to get & pay a mortgage.
Should having children just be for the partners of high earners?

Person_one

BritAbroad wrote: »

I don't spend money on childcare which means I can choose to spend it elsewhere.

Um, it isn't that simple for most people who pay for childcare! They have to do so in order to work, if they didn't the money just wouldn't exist to 'spend it elsewhere'!

Person_one

MrsE wrote: »

Unless you are very high earners then you need two wages to get & pay a mortgage.
Should having children just be for the partners of high earners?

Not to mention how massively insulting it is to parents who work.

(Or is it just mothers who work who get that accusation levelled at them...)

Hermia

londonsurrey wrote: »

It depends on the joke. Some jokes are accepted within certain groups, e.g. "Ooh er, you swallowed a dictionary, then?" when someone uses a word of more than two syllables.

It could be a subtle put down to someone trying to be pretentious, or it could be a put down to someone just making use of the words out there in the big wide world.

I come from a working class background, but have lost touch with a lot of people I used to know because of people making remarks like these. I have a reasonably wide vocabulary because I am an avid reader, love learning and went to university. Whenever I used to chat to people I would get the supposedly jokey remarks whenever I used a word they didn't understand. Or they would imply that I only pretended to like the theatre and the arts because I was trying to be middle-class. I don't mind the odd joke, but it got to the point where I was almost censoring what I was saying and I just got sick of it.

BritAbroad

Person_one wrote: »

Um, it isn't that simple for most people who pay for childcare! They have to do so in order to work, if they didn't the money just wouldn't exist to 'spend it elsewhere'!

I understand that. My point is that everyone makes choices in life, therefore it's pointless to to be jealous or snobbish because the decisions someone else has made. If someone chooses to have kids, it seems pointless to complain because they then have to fund the costs associated with that, because they believe the rewards of having kids outweigh the negatives. For me, I don't have kids, therefore I can do other things. I'm not jealous of their family as that's what they've chosen, so I don't understand why they get miffed about the things I do instead.

onlyroz

People spend their money on the things they enjoy. Some wouldn't bat an eyelid at spending £50 on a haircut, whereas for me that would be a complete waste of money. Others enjoy fine wine or fine dining whereas some might live on beans on toast while saving up for the latest gadgets. It really shouldn't matter as long as you're living within your means.

As for childcare, it really can cost £1000+ a month per child.

Edwardia

I'm from a middle class background and my husband from a working class background.

At first I found it really hurtful to be called a snob just because I have a bank account, as if I was being a poser by now SIL- who has since accquired a criminal record.

I was privately appalled when MIL told me "book learning is a waste of time" and even more shocked when she disagreed with something I was saying and physically assaulted me.

My feeling was well if this is working class salt of the earth culture that's supposed to be oh so much better than being middle class, you can shove it. I got fed up with being bullied and sneered at and being told by my mother also, that I should say nothing. I just wasn't prepared to accept the potty mouth insults and physical assault.

So OH is in touch with his family and sees them and I don't. Peaceful life.