had my lbm

KarrieB

I've been lurking on here for several months but as i've just got married i've promised myself that i will sort my debts once and for all and need the kind of help and support that i will get on this board as i am too scared to tell my husband about my debts.
I owe £3000 on a mastercard, 1910 on a visa and am paying off a loan that i took out fo ran ex years ago and am still paying off. I feel so ashamed that these debts have just spiralled. I can't even say ok the money went here. i've got nothing to show for it except the debt.
Karrie

yellowmonkey

Well done for posting.

The first step is sometimes the hardest.

If you get the time post a statement of affairs (SOA) and the wise ones will be along and give you some advice.

Good luck and congrats on recently getting married.

YM

hypno06

Hi there, welcome and congratulations on the wedding!

Have a read of Southernscouser's sticky above which will give you info about preparing a statement of affairs. then if you want to post it on here, we can have a look at it and pull it apart (in a constructive way of course!) which may help you get on top of things.

Don't feel ashamed, you have done nothing that the rest of us haven't. The main thing is that you are now heading on the right track, and you will get there.

Now, go and make a coffee, get a pad of paper and a pen and get brainstorming!

dreams_R_free

Hi Karrie
Congratulatioms on your marriage. here's wishing you a lifetime of happiness:beer:

I can sympathise with you so much because the main reason for the state I'm in is not being able to tell DH about my debts. I've been married many many years longer than you though and wonder whether you could pluck up the courage to confide in him at this early and wonderful stage of your relationship. I suspect he'd forgive you anything and it would be a much stronger base to build the rest of your lives on when there are no skeletons lurking. My debts only happened fairly recently so my position is different (and we've well and truly lost that 'loving feeling' by now:eek: ).

Compared to a lot of us on here your debts look payable with a bit of help and I'm sure someone will be able to advise you the best way to cut back to get them paid off asap. Try not to worry too much, I'm sure now you've opened up to the wise and caring folk on here you'll be on the fast-track to paying them off very soon.

I wish you well:kisses3:

KarrieB

Thanks for the replies guys. It feels like a weight has lifted just writing this down. I'm off to see what I can sell on ebay. Lots of stuff from the wedding can go, already sold the umbrellas that we didn't use for £20. Baby steps, baby steps.

Little_Miss_Winner

Hi Karrie,

Nothing much to add, as you have been given some really good advice upto now.

Would just echo that you do really need to list an SOA, with all incomings and outgoings listed so we can see how much you have to pay back your debts each month.

Keep posting
Hugs
x

KarrieB

I've done most of my soa if there are omissions can you let me know

My salary - £890

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage/Rent - £232
Council Tax - £94
Phone - £12.50
Mobile - £10
Food - £100
Other shopping £20
Eatingout/Socialising - £50
Pet Insurance - £4.35
Travel pass - £44
Gym- £31
Visa - £60
Mastercard £50
Egg card - £121

Total: £828.85

My OH pays the gas, water and electric as they add up to the same as the phone and council tax IYSWIM?
I know that I need to cancel the gym. Plan to that this week.

scaredy_cat_2

hi, well done on your lbm (and wedding!) i will leave it to those more expert than me to comment on your soa but when i first started, i made lots of changes to my direct debits etc that were posted in my soa but then kind of thought - well what now and i felt a bit overwhelmed and lost!!

i then started following a thread called 'dfw the flylady way' (which is a reference to a cleaning thread on os) it was a step by step way of learning to spend differently and cope with reducing spending and its v good - i didn't finish it so am returning this week to start again - although lots of the habits i have kept. I am hoping i am able to post the link as i'm not too good at that bit!! it may be of use to you - good luck.http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=347734

KarrieB

thanks SC that looks like a really good thread to try to get me into good habits rather than bad ones. I know that I'm an 'emotional' spender the way some people are emotional eaters but am trying to get out of that mindset.

Debty_Betty_2

Congratulations on getting married and your light bulb moment.

how are you going with it all Karrie? Did you cancel your gym membership?

What other money saving things have you been doing?

I find it useful keeping a debt free diary thread. It makes me concentrate on reporting back what i have been doing with my finances and helps me stay motivated to get out of debt. Also sometimes when your stuck or just feeling low some of the lovely people on this site send you a message that puts you back on track

Good luck

DB x