Help ,at Witts End

allofadither

All the options DMP, IVA, BR affect your credit rating for a minimum of six years until they 'fall off' your credit file. With BR, if you are asked the question on any kind of application form, loan/credit or otherwise you have to declare it, no matter how long after the BR.

Do you mean you are wanting to keep all of this a secret from your girlfriend? It will be difficult...like others have suggested, you would be better to have her on your side, support counts for so much, as does honesty. Dealing with a problem like this will be so much easier together. You haven't spent all the money on yourself, you've been doing your best for your family, and you still are.

gettingitsorted

Bankruptcy would not be able to be kept secret as it would go in the local paper for your area .i echo what allofadither is saying about the honesty .

NorthernOne

Take my word for it, bottling it up/trying to keep it secret just results in it eating you up inside. It’s hard to explain but I am sure people will know what I mean.

I would split up your commitments into those that need to be paid and those that don’t I.e. Need to be paid- Child minding, C Tax, and Water etc.

With the credit cards you need to contact them and tell them your struggling, come to come arrangement with them to pay them back as a reduced rate, if you go bankrupt then they get nothing and most will help you in this regard. Or speak to payplan.

You do need to realise you have a problem and maybe the fist step is to tell your other half, the more you lie and try and cover up your debt the more of a problem it will become. Take my word for it I did it for years

Conor_3

Wurzel...

Are you claiming Working Tax and Child Tax credit? If you haven't you should be, especially as you've posted that you pay £300 in childcare costs as well. If you're claiming WTC/CTC have you told them how much you're paying in child care?

wherediditallgo

wurzelguamge wrote: »

Hi All

at my witts end,

Basically i have run up 32000 worth of debt, my partner doesnt know and if she did i would lose everything, including my daughter.

Is there any way of dealing with this without other people finding out?

HELP

It's one thing keeping your debts secret from family/friends (I haven't told them), but I would strongly advise against keeping it secret from your partner. Debt as you already know is very stressful, & having the burden of the secret on top (a secret you'll have to keep for years, if not for life) is likely to put your relationship under greater strain. When I got my letter from the Insolvency Service about my IPA, the 'Insolvency Service' part was clearly visible through the window of the envelope - how would your partner feel if you'd been keeping the secret for months, & then she saw such a letter arrive? How would you deal with that? You can't watch for every item of post that comes every single day, so you've no way of knowing a creditor won't ring/write either & mention your debts, or that they won't contact your neighbours as some DCAs have done leaving messages for you to ring them.

I very much doubt that her reaction will be as harsh as you think. Yes, she'll be upset & possiblly disappointed, but part of her reaction will be from worry about what the future will hold for you both. If she was the sort of person to take your daughter away from you because of debts you've incurred for the family, you wouldn't be living with her now, would you?

desperate_mum_3

I'M NO GOOD ON FINANCIAL ADVICE BUT I CAN ADVICE FROM A WOMANS POINT OF VIEW .... IF YOU HAVE SO MUCH STRESS AND WORRIES IT IS OBVIOUSLY AFFECTING YOUR HOME LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP , SHE IS PROBABLY IMAGING ALL KINDS OF REASONS AND I BET MONEY IS THE LAST THING SHE WILL BE THINKING OF ...SO BE HONEST WITH HER , GO OUT SOMEWHERE ON YOUR OWN NO KIDS .... EXPLAIN EVERYTHING ... YOU WILL BOTH FEEL 100 % BETTER i DOUBT VERY MUCH SHE WOULD LEAVE YOU AND STOP YOU SEEING YOUR CHILD ... BE BRAVE AND GO FOR IT ... THEN YOU CAN BOTH SORT THE FINANCIAL BIT OUT TOGETHER .. GOOD LUCK ..