Family Friend Stole money

Hev106

:mad:

Hi I hope this is the right place to post this but am hoping that someone is able to point me in the right direction. Unfortunately my dear mum was taken to hospital in Dec 2012 and sadly passed away two weeks ago. As I live some five hours from her and my brother altho living in the same county was unable to visit every day due to shifts, a family 'friend' (I use the term very loosely) whom we have known for over 20 years visited daily as he worked close to the hospital/hospice and also took his wife with him at weekends to visit mu which both my brother and I were grateful for. However four days prior to her death it came to light that the 'friend' had been helping himself to money from her account to the tune of £4000 over two months. We know it wasnt mum as she was bed bound and certainly could not be in her home town at 10pm at night! When we spoke to mum she confirmed that she had given her card to him on three occasions to withdraw money in order for her to top up her phone and buy some toiletries. We spoke with the hospice staff and the resident social workers and safeguarding was then put in place around this 'friend' we also found out that he claimed to be the stepson!!!! The matter was also reported to her bank and police, but sadly the police have stated that as mum had given permission on three occasions as stated to us and was not in a state of mind for them to speak to on reporting this matter and was now sadly deceased, the suspect would say that he had been given permission. The 'friend' has been confronted about this since the police stated they would do nothing and he insisted that mum had told him to take the money out and he had given it to her except for the money she insisted he kept to tax his car and buy his tobacco!!!! Funny if he gave her the money why there was only a few pounds in her purse when she passed away, maybe he is trying to say the hospice staff stole the £4000 as it appears to have vanished into thin air!! Funnily enough for someone who is insisting he was not fleecing my mother he has offered to pay the money back - maybe its just my way of thinking but if I was claiming I had legtimate right to the money then why would I offer to pay it back?? anyhow, as he has now stated he will pay it back I need to get something in writing from him and I believe there is some sort of template letter I can use headed without prejudice asking him to make an arrangement to do so or agreeing to the terms my brother and I set and giving him 28 days to respond otherwise we can take him to the small claims court? Can anyone advise as to whether or not there is
a) such a draft/template on here that I can use and
b) confirm I can persue via the small claims court

Many thanks for any help you can offer, as I am sure you can guess both my brother and I feel guilty at allowing this to happen under our noses and any monies recovered will go to my mums great grandchildren but the worst thing of all that really sticks in our throats is the breach of trust we had in this 'friend'. You always think it would never happen to you but it does and it really hurts to discover this. Thankfully my poor mum never found out the whole truth about what this snake in the grass did, but if this warns anyone other person to take more care around their most valuable persons then it will hopefully save a lot of heartache x

Heather x

Hev106

Can anyone help/advise? please?

19lottie82

Hi - I think you will get more responses if you post this in the family and relationships section of the board x

NeverEnough

So sorry about your loss Heather. And so sad that a "friend" of over 20 years behaved in such a despicable way. As said, perhaps copy the post or ask mods to move it to the Familes board. I don't think a template will help much, if indeed he agrees to sign it, as he does not agree he "owes" the money just that he will be "kind" and pay it back, not because he is forced to do so............. I do hope you get it back. Grief is bad enough let alone have your loved one fleeced while dying.

Hev106

Thank you all guys x not sure how to move it to another section? will have to copy and paste x the matter was reported to police who have stated it is civil, he has however contacted them to say he will pay it back, he has also texted my brother to say the same and said the same verbally to me and my ex sister in law

Think I will end up drafting a letter giving him 28 days to respond with his proposal of how he intends to repay this!

The money he repays will go to a bank account that will be set to one side for my grandkids as this is what my brother and i have agreed and this along with the ctf they already have should (we hope) give them a bit of a stepping stone to uni if they decide to go that route x just hoping that he has some morals left to actually do what he has told us and the police he will do and avoid any court case (if we can take him to court)

thanks again for your help and kind words, the only blessing in this is mum did not realise what was going on thankfully or should i say the extent of what he was doing!

Heather xx