Being pressured into a situation at work

Skintski

I don't really know if I am posting in the right place so apologies if not.

I work in sales and part of my job very occasionally involves me being placed into a formal environment where I would have to present to a number of people and up until this point it has always been within my company. I struggle with this massively and have done ever since my teens (in my thirties now). This is to the point where I don't sleep in the time leading up to the presentation whether that be 2 weeks or 2 months and generally feel on edge and stressed out. I go very red and stutter out my words. My legs also shake. I am a very shy person in large crowds and I am even worrying about my own upcoming wedding and it's meant we are taking very few people with us to the ceremony.

It has been noted that I struggle with this issue and so have been placed on a course with an outside company which deals with presentation skills and everything linked to it. This is due to take place in a couple of months time. I have accepted this course which was organised by my boss.

I have now found out that I have been picked out by my boss to present in a regional meeting for one of our largest customers in a few days time. I am absolutely beside myself because I will be embarrassing myself in front of these people having not had the opportunity to have the training first. I understand it is part of my job role but since I have been selected individually by the very person who has lined me up for the additional help seems a little unfair. I have spoken to him regarding this and it's basically tough luck, do it or complain basically.

Would I be within my rights to follow this up with HR since it almost feels like I am being bullied into a scenario I am not comfortable with before having had the chance to take proper training. When I first started with the company a couple of years ago we had a brief one day session with it which again I panicked over.

Perhaps it's just me but I'd really appreciate some other peoples view points because I don't know what to do.

Thank you.

whitewing

In some ways I can't understand how you can expect to work in sales and not feel able to do presentations.

Could you see if a GP can prescribe you some short term anti-anxiety medication?

To be honest, the boss obviously thinks you are more than capable or he wouldn't risk letting you loose on it.

Skintski

99% of what I do is on a one to one basis and I love it. Situations like this one are pretty unusual.

My question in return would be that if he thinks I am more than capable then why do I require booking onto a course?

I'm not trying to be argumentative, just makes no sense to me.

Annisele

Perhaps your boss thinks that the presentations themselves are great, but the training will help stop you going into a flap over them?

In sales, I suspect public speaking will always form some small part of your role. Maybe try something like Toastmasters?

tizerbelle

Its part of your job so although your boss has agreed to send you on a course to help you get over your fears (and that's all it is - trust me I've been there) you still need to do the duties of your job between now and then. Presumably he thinks this will help you.

I used to have to do presentations, lead training sessions, information briefings etc etc. Anywhere from 3 to 300 attendees. The more I thought about it, the worse I'd get so if I was stood up at the front of the room talking and that little voice in my head said hope your leg doesn't shake, guess what - my legs would shake. Had the whole gammut of fear reactions you talk about.

Then I realised as long as I knew my subject I was perfectly happy to voice my opinions to a room full of people if I was sat down but stand me up at the front of the room and the confidence would vanish. Basically its because you are worrying too much about what they will think about you personally rather than the subject being discussed.

So I developed coping mechanisms, have a desk to the side of the presentation screen - sit on that rather than stand, start your presentation from the front of the room and then walk round to the back of the room and present from there. Don't feel you have to stand in one place to present, move around the room, do circuits of the room, have a desk to sit on/lean against the wall at the back and it makes it harder for them to look at you as they have to turn round so they just listen to you and watch the presentation instead

Seriously its just fear thats holding you back and that is all. You know your stuff and you can do it, its just that initial jump out of your comfort zone. It does get easier and easier.

Skintski

Thank you for the responses, they're really helpful.

Dumbe

Other things that have helped me are..

Take deep breaths before you start and think of something calming.

When you are in front of a big group pick out two or three audience members near the back and sides of the room and focus your attention between them ..as if you are talking to those 3 people..forget the rest of the audience just imagine you are talking to them.

if you feel yourself speeding up, pause, deep breath and talk slowly.

Use slides and a pointer to refer to the slides .. Really helps me to have something like a pointer in my hand.

gibson123

It is a part of your job, so you need to feel the fear and do it anyway.

I am a confident speaker, get asked to talk at conferences and representing my organisation in lots of ways. I get lots of compliments, 5 minutes before going "on" whether in a boardroom or on a stage, you will find me throwing up in the bathroom. Try a relaxation tape on your mp3 player, a wee squirt of bachs remedy on your tongue and make sure you have a table top to hold on to, lean against or perch on. it doesn't get easier, but remember the reason you are nervous is the reason you will be the best person to do the job - you care! Good luck.

warehouse

Skintski, are you being too hard on yourself? Surely the boss see's you present regularly and has a much better impression of your skills than you do, after all we're all much harder on ourselves?

I was put on a similar course to the one you'll be going on and it was a revelation. One thing they did was to video our 5 minute presentations and make the whole class watch it back. At the time it was incredibly cringworthy, but we all had to do it and then the class all made comments. Every single person on that course thought they were terrible at presenting, and after each persons, (honest), comments it was very clear that nobody was that bad actually. Since that session I've realised that inside I think in turmoil but outside I'm OK, and that makes a massive difference.

In this case I'd say you are well within your rights to ask for a reprieve until after the course.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

The thing that goes through most people's minds when someone else is presenting is joy that they aren't the one presenting. Think of it as 'I'm privileged to be presenting this fantastic bit of info, let me make it as interesting as I can for you' and you won't go far wrong.

Skintski

Thank you for your support. I came away even less confident the last time I did it because I could feel myself shaking and the more I could feel it the worse I got so being offered a course came as a bit of a relief, it just feels like I am being set up for a fall this time round.

I have a healthy stock of herbal relaxation tablets and those funny little sweets in yellow tins you can buy which are supposed to relax you. I'll just be glad when it's over on this occasion and then hope that the course helps.