Getting Family To Join in...

Crown

Is it just me that seems to have trouble getting the rest of the family joining in on the Debt Free Quest.

I must admit I have become a hardcore DFW and keep my spending diary and watch the pennies like my life depended on it.

When I admitted to my debts my family (mum and Brother) all agreed that we were in it together and would confront our debts head on. We have made great progress on some things but I have just ended up having a row as over the bank holday and new Hard Drive Freeview box has appeared and Gardening Equipment plus I was told that they were going to buy some plants.

Me in my Full DFW Hardcore "Rambo Killfest" Mode pointed out maybe a little to strongly that our spending had started to get out of control and was they sticking to the Spending Diaries ext.

Lets just say they told me were I could stick my spending Diary! :rotfl:

I will apologise tonight but its seems like forever one of us is breaking out of the habit. what do you do when not everyone is commited to becoming debt free??

jo1972

Hi Crown,

I feel the same way...only started being a DFW last week but now I watch my pennies like a hawk and keep coming up with suggestions that I've read on here to hubbie but all I get is a shrug and maybe he'll roll his eyes if I'm lucky. I'm trying to do this for all of us so would be nice of him to join in as I find the money that I'm saving he's spending!!

Any advice of how to coerce him into money saving would be appreciated!!

Jo.

Skint_Catt

I just stick to my own plan.

My OH spends the money he earns - end of. He'll have to change when we move in together but until then I'll save for my deposit and for furnishings. He can sort himself out (until he makes a commitment to me )! He earns good money and isn't in debt anyway.

C xx

OberonSH

Before we moved in together, my debt was mine, he was debt free, so we just put half the bills in, and the rest was up to me. Now we live toghether he's really got used to living DFW, and when he downsized his job it really struck home how careful we'd have to be. The Ex Husband From Hell (May He Stink Forever) was just the opposite. I'd save, he'd spend like mad.

Have you tried telling them how upset it makes you to feel like your hard work is going to waste?

Crown

One problem I have with this is that although the bank account is in my name the money paid into it is both mine and my mothers. we have always done that as we are a low income household and have always struggled.

It seems like if there is money showing in the account she feels that it can be spent and doesnt think about the future. (just ike a lot of us before our LBM I guess).

Also although we went through everything and set a budget that we all agreed to she has told me that everyone has debts and its just a way of life. A few months back I found out the she had took on some more credit in form of a catalouge that I didnt know anything about.

I really think we need to sit down and sort this out as I feel im going round in circles.

Crown

OberonSH wrote: »

Have you tried telling them how upset it makes you to feel like your hard work is going to waste?

Yes I have but it always sounds like i'm checking up on them and every penny they spoend. I dont mean to do this but aqm trying to drum into them that I am not bothered if they want to spend money of treats as lond as they account for it.

This is why the catalouge came about as she felt that spending money on clothes would be frowned upon. I honeslty do not think im that much of a control freak but I made to feel like a a little Hiltler when it comes to finances.

Skint_Catt

Crown, could you open another account for your wages to be paid into so she can't spend your money? I know it sounds harsh but she's her own person and must take responsibility for herself.

Crown

I am making her sound terrible what I did not intend to do. She actually earns more money than me and my money is used to mainly against repaying the debts and a majority of the mortgage.

Her income pays for the food and household expenditure.

I totally agree that we both should take responsibility for ourselves but it is hard to change the habits of a lifetime.

I am not a kid anymore by a longshot and sometimes feel I would be better if I had moved out years ago but I dont think she could have afforded to keep the house going without my wages. I honestly do not hold any bad feelings as we have gone through so much heartache over the years and as I am adopted she sacrifed a lot to even take care of me.

I am going to redo a SOA as its been years since I have posted on on the site. I will also look into a way of setting up a new account and splitting the debts moe fairly although a all but one joint loan are in my name.