Sick and Ashamed

Wannabesaver_4

Well the story goes like this - Lightbulb moment Sept 06 - been on a DMP for 6 months. Doing fine. £30K of debt which with payments CCCS caluctalted at £26K - when i rang for up to date statements is £32K - abbey have added money to the loan!!!

Sold house to release equity and offer creditors about 50% of whats owed in final settelement. Partly because my father is very ill and i want to be rid of debt in case i have to stop working when the end comes near - which we know it will.

So i was writing all letters to creditors going by CCCS rules of amount owed to creditor x lump available /total amount owed.

I have been happily paying my money to CCCS but being faced again with the money i owe has made me feel sick and ashamed and i thought i was beyond this.

Have also had to spend money on things for new house and although essential has made me feel sick as well.

Am also incredibly worried that creditors wont accept my offers and we will be in a no better position. :wall:

danielleindebt

im sorry to hear your father is ill.

i hope they accept your offers, so you will feel better.

Snaggles

I wish I could tell you they will all accept the offers and everything will be fine, but as I can't do that, I just wanted to offer my support and sympathy. Try not to feel ashamed, what's done is done, and you are trying your best to put things right. Keep us updated with your progress and just shout if you need any help or advice.

I'm very sorry to hear about your Father too, it must be a really difficult time for you.

hypno06

Hi, what may be happening is that the emotions connected with your Father being so very ill are affecting the way that you are dealing with the debt issues. Try not to attach any emotion to the debt issues - at this time just do what is practical, writing letters, speaking to CCCS, etc. At the moment the reason you are feeling ashamed is because you are attaching emotional energy to it.

Reserve the emotional energy that you have for dealing with family issues - if you use too much of it for the debt you will wear yourself out and will find things much harder.

Hope that makes sense, reading back I'm not sure if it does, but basically concentrate on what is important, and that is you and your Dad x

Wannabesaver_4

thanks Guys - Hypno i think you are right. I just feel so low at the moment and have the letters sat in my bag waiting for stamps.

If they dont accept can i pay off £13K worth of the debt (which is the cash i have) and just keep paying the rest off? Think it woudl be mentally good to have less creditors - but cos i am on a DMP so i have to give it to htem to split up between everyone?

hypno06

I'm not sure about offering amounts to creditors as it is not something I have ever tried to do.

But DO send those letters off. Once they are in the post box there is nothing for you to do. You can then concentrate on yourself x

chevalier

I think generally CCCS will split it up among your creditors. But worth having a chat to them, because they may have a feel for who might take full and final settlements and who won't. Then the money you are still paying CCCS would be split between the remaining creditors so they would all get a bit more money.

Sorry to hear about your dad, you think parents will go on forever don't you.

chev