Here goes!! Can I actually make the change?

dancingfairy

Another option is to phone someone like National Debtline or CCCS and they may suggest a dmp. You would pay them a certain amount each month and they would split it up fairly between those who you owe money to - perhaps this would hepl with the inertia and sense of panic you are feeling?
You would of course have tostick to a budget for entertainment though.

If you paid 500 a month towards your debts without making full and final settlements you could be debt free in 2 years. If you can stretch it to more than that obviously itwould be quicker. I actually think by offering settlements you could be debt free even quicker than that to be honest. There should be a letter on the NationalDebtlines website regarding how to make settlement offers.
Best of luck
df

artnoble

heya.

I don't really worry about the debts I have, I'm just scared I'm going to stand still if I don't do anything about it. I'll be in the same position in 5 years time. I don't want to stand still, I want to be able to live life.

I've been to the doctors a couple of times and they recommended my anti depressants. I didn't really notice that much of difference really, I've never really felt low, just angry at myself that I can't change.

In terms of managing meals at work I've been doing well. I take porridge in with me instead of the cafe in the morning. I'll take sandwiches 3 days a week and then on the others I'll have a morrisons salad bar which is a couple of quid. I'm also working out before work so I'm feeling fitter and better about myself.


Having it written down on paper though has just hit home. I could really make a massive dent in this within a year. Then its upset me that there are people far worse of than my situation on here and they are doing well. I wish I was different

nearlyrich

Don't panic there are people in a lot worse situations here and starting to think about it is a great start...

artnoble

nearlyrich wrote: »

Don't panic there are people in a lot worse situations here and starting to think about it is a great start...

thank you for your support nearlyrich

kerri_gt

Firstly well done on taking the step to recognise things can't go on as they are and get things listed out - that's a step forward :T

Next - you are in a very lucky position now where you have very minimal outgoings each month that you have to meet (board at home for example). As you SOA shows you 'have' £800 a month available to youself as free money. Now I don't know what the position is regarding having things paid off / settlement offers and such so I'll leave that to those who have more knowledge but looking at your SOA you are in a really good position to pay everything off in a relatively short space of time and still be in a position to go out and have a bit of fun.

What i would suggest is to keep a spending diary of what you are spending on 'entertainment' - and anything else - it will show exactly where all your money goes. Secondly, I'd sit down and look at what it driving you to spend so much on going out / entertainment - is it because everyone else is doing it / there's nothing else to do / its easy to pretend you don't have the debts when you're not at home.

You need to be honest with yourself before you can make changes, then be honest with your friends. Suggest cheaper things to do, pampering nights round each others houses, dinners where everyone brings a dish or one person cooks and the others bring a bottle - that kind of thing. You might be surprised to find others are struggling to keep up. I'll be honest and you may also find out who your 'true' friends are, but at the end of the day, if they're only friends because of your bank balance, do you really want them as 'friends'?

Lastly, have you spoken to your parents / family about this? It might be hard at first but after the dust has settled having a support network and not feeling that you have to deal with everything alone really helps. If you can't talk to family, how about a close friend?

It sounds like you are making positive steps already, try and focus on what you have achieved already x

beth3735

Just a thought, could you check over the last few weekends on your bank statement to see for withdrawals and card usage over the weekend, just to try and get an average spend for a weekend.

You will get out of this, I found myself in £18.5k worth of debt with 2 babies and 1 day a week work, i started a DMP and it was the best thing i have done, I am still on 1 day a week work (have no choice as i have to work around my husband's full time hours and no family to care for my kids.) I have had a 3rd baby and still managed to pay over 90% of my debt in just over 6 yrs.

You can do this, and with the support from this forum you WILL do it! Just try and figure out the spendage each weekend and why it happens

Mara_uk7

You can do it, Dont think of it in months or years, One month at a time. How about finding a cheapy hobby for the weekends this month of March ...... Just tell your mates you are busy for a few weekends, Its not forever.. In a months time, we will renegotiate April :cool2: ..

foxgloves

The choice is entirely yours to make. I don't say this in judgement. I have spent most of my adult life failing to budget & overspending like mad. Now I am debt free, I just want everyone to discover this feeling while they are still young & not wait till they were 40+ like I did!! (I started my overspending behaviour age 19) So, the simple choice is: You make a budget & stick to it...which can include a very small amount for going out at the weekend but not more than that as you owe too much to sustain this as a lifestyle. OR you carry on as you are doing & will be in this position for a good old long time yet. Your income is the amount of money you have. Anything over that, think of it as spending somebody else's money. It does sound like you are making some useful starts in the week, then sabotaging yourself at weekends. If this is because all your peer-group are spending what they like, try not to get swayed by this. If someone thinks it's tight only buying a couple of pints or drinks on a night, that's their problem, your problem will just be getting stuck with this rotten old load of debt if you can't get a grip. Agree you need to work out why you are self-sabotaging. They might be fantastic nights out......but they'd be a lot more fantastic if the debts were paid off & you were spending your own money. You never think it will happen, but I really really do now enjoy being debt-free as much as I used to enjoy spending binges. Good luck.