Never ending story

Abz12

So third day.

What a horrible one at that! Massive row last night with the OH. Ended in him damaging some of our bedroom furniture and moving out. This was all before work! Didn't go because of the mess.

Considering I'm on a diet I haven't eaten nothing except a dominos large pizza at a cost of £14.48. I could have done without this TBH. I am such an emotional eater now I don't smoke.

Have not been to the gym again and am feeling really down and alone. It's hard when you love someone but they are in self destruct mode. Looks like its just me and the cats tonight.

Unsure whether to go work tomorrow or not, don't really want to use another days holiday but can't face ppl and having to motivate my mind. Really need to get my life in order.

Sorry for the moan but this diary is also a little therapeutic for me.

MrsCautious

Hello Abz12,

Wanted to send you a hug. I hope you get to work. I'm old enough to be your mum but I wanted to let you know I'm alarmed to read your OH has damaged furniture before moving out. I hope you can be kind to yourself and your friends are there for you. Wishing you lots of love and luck.

littleangels3

well done for starting a diary, sorry to hear about your oh but maybe him moving outs for the best but who am i to say, good luck on your new life change xx

Robin_TBW

Abz12 wrote: »

Lol at Robin TBW - I have tried and have come to the conclusion I should just leave him be.

Then you may as well give up now. You won't get to where you truly want to be if he won't contribute.

mum2one

Hope your ok, what ever happened with OH you need to make sure your ok, your doing so well with the diary, and I know myself that theres time where my diary is my lifeline,

See the pizza as one of those things - you needed food, you weren't in the right time to cook and that filled the void, you take care xxx

Abz12

Thanks to everyone for all your wonderful reply messages, it means a lot.

Didn't make it to work and had today as holiday anyway. Been busting myself with tasks that I usually avoid. Cleaned the car out, went shopping for food, defrosted the fridge freezer and ordered new furniture to replace the damaged ones. Will need to get a new bed frame but that can wait.

Unfortunately I have had to order from Littlewoods, so my balance is very high now. I have put it over the BNPL so I don't stress about it. I defo no I will clear it before this time next year though - plus my OH has said he will pay half for it as he did damage it!

There all due to come on Monday so onwards and upwards.

Have been in talks with my OH and although I'm not condoning it you can't help who you love!

Will have to update my signature later, this fills me with dread as I have been spending on the capital 1 card again today.

No gym again, had a curry with my mum on thurs and chip shop food this afternoon. Really mad at myself and have promised to start healthy eating with the next meal, steak and jacket potato.

Gym in the morning.....can't wait!

Not such a good day of money saving but things needed to be replaced.

MrsCautious

I really hope you don't mind but I wanted to say something to you about the food/diet thing. . . There is nothing to be mad at yourself about, you have a lifetime of habits built up so you are not weak for not resisting certain foods when you crave comfort because you are under stress. Best thing I ever did was see a nutritionist when I was at my biggest, I thought she was going to lecture me on what I should and shouldn't be eating, instead she said 'eat what you like and quit thinking about food as good or bad.' This was to help me understand I was in a binge/diet cycle and stuck. I'm lighter now but still overweight as at times of great stress I still hit the pie and chips.

You certainly can't help who you love but you do need to put yourself first.

Lots of love to you and good luck on your DFW journey xxx

Abz12

Mrs cautious - I don't mind at all. Thanks for the advice. I can't help feeling guilty when I have only gained weight an not lost anything over the past few years. It also affects my self confidence so I do need to get a handle on it.

So weekend almost done....boo!
Went out for a meal last night with the OH and another couple that we know. Only had a small portion so win win. Drank a lot last night though, which is pretty normal for a Saturday night. Didn't spend much money either only £10.

Some of the furniture arrived yesterday and to much annoyance a voucher came through the door from Littlewoods stating £10 off if spend over £50. I am going to ring them an see if I can add it to my order for the furniture. That always happens!

Today is a lazy one, got a lot of studying to do for my OU degree. 3 assignments due next month, all with two days of one another.

Have used all the advice from the many threads on here and have decided to make a meal plan for the week. This will ensure I eat healthier and don't buy lunch at work. Would post but I'm so fussy all eat is meat with rice, chips, wraps etc lol.

Still in talks with the OH about incident that happened Tuesday. Don't really know what to do, still mulling this one!

Tomorrow is weigh day so we shall how much weight I have gained... Argh!

Anyway hope everyone's had a nice weekend an thanks again for all the lovely messages.

foxgloves

Hello Abz12, Just read through your thread & thought I'd drop in a post, as I have been convinced for a while there's a link between overspending & overeating behaviour. I've yo-yo dieted all my adult life & have got quite big amounts off in the past, but always put it back plus more. I also started overspending around age 19 & was never out of debt until May 2011 when we finally paid off the last of what we owed. The skills & discipline we acquired while debt-busting: Planning, budgetting, doing without, substituting more affordable options, getting best value, but above all planning, planning, planning......turned out to be pretty much exactly what we needed to tackle our joint weight problems! 26 months ago, we decided to lose weight. Followed healthy diet to start with, then when we hit plateau, changed to Rosemary Conley so the calorie-counting would limit our portions, etc. Weight started dropping again. Now I'm 77 lbs lighter & partner is 55lbs lighter. As we were debt-busting at the start & now budgetting hard to stay debt-free, we spent very little on dieting. We don't go to classes, we don't have a gym membership & we don't buy any special foods. The only things we bought was a subscription to the Rosemary Conley mag (as I bought that anyway & it saved money plus I got the latest diet book free) & a set of the portion pots. Once we got those, our food started lasting longer as we could see how our portions were far too big. We replaced takeaways with home-made pizzas/curry, etc, so we could control the calorie content. For exercise, I walk, dig the garden or do one of 2 aerobics dvds I got 2nd hand for peanuts. I still need to lose another couple of stones, but now feel I've 'cracked' the tools I need to do it & the key one is just the same as that needed to sort out money/budgets....it's planning, especially meal-planning which saves a lot in terms of both money & calories. It can be done. Tell yourself you are worth it. You are doing it for you, not for anybody else. You are worth more than feeding your body with fast-food greasy cr*p. We had a bad take-away habit, but now have one maybe just 4 times or so a year. They are lovely, but way too calorific to eat regularly. So I guess I wanted to say it can be done. I was unable to do up the zip on my size 24 jeans & have just bought a size 16 tunic (albeit one with lots of helpful lycra, lol!) Best of luck with it all. foxgloves x

Abz12

Hi Foxgloves - thanks for posting.

I completely agree with your comment about over spending an over eating! We buy 5/7 takeaways a week. Most cost us a fortune an I'm sure that all the debt would be cleared if we didn't have this habit.

The problem I have is my OH is a big guy, as in muscles big not fat, he eats like a barn of horses an therefore when he eats I eat. Have learned to control the portions so am edging a little closer in the right direction. Not one for fruits an veg but do need to leave this childish habit behind me. Will give rosemary Conley a look though, I don't really cook my OH does so will push it in his direction.

Well done on your weight loss, that is a fantastic achievement especially without the gym membership I'd say.

Sorry I have been absent had a lot going on. Tried to I force my meal plan and have taken food to work Monday and Tuesday. Tomorrow is pay day so I feel a treat but also feel I need to start as I mean to go on. Weighed on Monday an I had lost 1lb. Yay for me. Lost the bet between me an a friend, as he lost more, but we are starting again in two weeks so trying to secretly continue lol.

All but one of the furniture pieces has arrived now so Saturday will probably be a mass construction day! OH is also looking for work as I type he's applying for jobs within the IT sector. He actually sounds excited which us positive. A long way to go before things get better between us but its heading in the right direction for now.

As its pay day tomorrow....woohoo! I can finally clear the ASDA credit card. Pay off the full balance on capital one for this statement and pay some off towards Littlewoods debt. Still haven't updated my signature will do this when made payments tomorrow.

Almost completed one of my OU essays due next month so pleased about that too.

Feel bait happier today as everything seems to be heading the right way for once, plus working out my bills etc i should have at least £300 left over this month. Was thinking I may put some aside to pay the next statement for cap 1 bill (no more spending on this) and try an pay one of the BNPL items from Littlewoods. Wish I could just save it!

Busy weekend ahead and I can't believe it's Thursday tomorrow already....where has this week gone?

Saturday = more studying, constructing furniture, gym, clean house and see parent who is visiting with extended fam. Out for a meal on the night belated birthday for a friend.

Sunday = gym, grandparents an more studying.

What an exciting life I lead for a 23 year old. With I could sometimes swap places with my step sister of 22, she's thin, has a great job, earns more money than me, no responsibilities and jets all over the world at the drop of a hat!!!!

Sorry for the long post but the was 4 days in one.

Good night everyone, thanks for reading.

X