Just joined, where to start??

Fruball

pinkyXstary wrote: »

To be honest (and i'm preparing for a massive backlash now) I don't want to work. I have worked since I was 15 years old, worked right through my first pregnancy and through my pregnancy with Aimee, have paid my taxes and never before in my life claimed a penny. Now it's come to a point where I can't work. I think it's important to point out that I physically can not work because of how complex Aimee's needs are. Aimee doesn't sleep either on a night time, im lucky if I can get 3 hours broken sleep a night... VERY lucky. So in order for me to then go to work a couple of days a week I would need to be rigged up to red bull and coffee, I would be no sort of mother to my children. Aimee has between 2 - 6 fits a day, she needs me there to monitor them as sometimes we need to administer emergency medication and call an ambulance. She also needs a lot of sensory stimulation throughout the day that I have been trained up for. And besides all that I have a piece of paper here, from the government excusing me from the need to work due the above reasons. Aimee can not walk or crawl or anything... to put it bluntly her diagnosis at the hospital was "IF she survives which is highly unlikely she will lay in a chair and dribble all day" the most horrendous thing we were told, but thankfully she is better than that.

In regards to the universal credit situation I haven't looked into it too much but I understand that circumstances are made for working family's of children with disability's will not feel the brunt of it as much. So long as one of us is a career and the other is working a minimum of 16 hrs pw and the child recieves highest rate DLA, I could be wrong though.

It honestly wouldn't pay me to work, and it wouldn't benefit Aimee at all. I'd be taking time off constantly to get her to appointments as usually both parents are required to go

I can see why it would be impossible for you to work with having such a lot on your plate, and I would hope nobody here would criticise you for it.

I am shocked by what you were told about your daughter too What an appalling thing to say to a parent :mad:

I hope the advice and friendship throughout the OS board (and MSE in general) helps you and your family

pinkyXstary

Fruball wrote: »

I can see why it would be impossible for you to work with having such a lot on your plate, and I would hope nobody here would criticise you for it.

I am shocked by what you were told about your daughter too What an appalling thing to say to a parent :mad:

I hope the advice and friendship throughout the OS board (and MSE in general) helps you and your family

Thank you, that's really kind of you
I don't like not working if i'm honest, if from a very hardworking family and was really embarassed by the fact that I'm still young and not working but to be honest I forget about it now and focus on Aimee

Yes we had a horrendous time when Aimee was born and were treated terrible, currently in the process of dealing with solicitors RE Aimees birth

x

Fruball

pinkyXstary wrote: »

Thank you, that's really kind of you
I don't like not working if i'm honest, if from a very hardworking family and was really embarassed by the fact that I'm still young and not working but to be honest I forget about it now and focus on Aimee

Yes we had a horrendous time when Aimee was born and were treated terrible, currently in the process of dealing with solicitors RE Aimees birth

x

You are working It's working from home and taking care of your family who clearly need you to be there. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.

I hope that you get a good outcome from the solicitors etc.

heavenleigh

pinkyXstary wrote: »

Thank you, that's really kind of you
I don't like not working if i'm honest, if from a very hardworking family and was really embarassed by the fact that I'm still young and not working but to be honest I forget about it now and focus on Aimee

Yes we had a horrendous time when Aimee was born and were treated terrible, currently in the process of dealing with solicitors RE Aimees birth

x

Huge hugs sent through cyber space to you, you sound like you are doing a fantastic job....
You're also in the right place, you won't find a friendlier bunch on the net, whether it be for advice, a general moan or support. stick around, you'll love it here xxx

sonastin

RAS wrote: »

Any thoughts about working yourself a day or two a week.

1. Would improve income and would not be taxed.
2. Would actually be almost respite as you would get contact with adults and leaven the caring experience?

Do you know how your family situation will be perceived under the Universal Credit situation?

To be honest, and I hope you don't mind me saying so, I read this as a geniune enquiry of "is this an option for you". Your defensiveness is wholly understandable as it clearly isn't an option but I hope you weren't offended by the question as I'm sure RAS didn't mean it as a dig at you for not working. We're just trying to make sure that all bases are covered!

The best way to succeed at this is to not try to do too much too soon. It is easy to bite of more than you can chew so to speak and then get dispirited and give up because its too hard. Focus on one thing at a time and try to get that properly incorporated into your lifestyle before you make another big change. You've got enough on already without trying to live the most frugal existence too. And its not like you've got a mountain of debt to start tackling so you are in a position to take it slow and build it up properly.

I'd start with planning a few simple meals each week for home cooking and limiting your shopping to stuff you know you'll use. Don't get sucked into buying bargains you haven't planned for and don't over-stretch with planning a whole months menu in one go when you don't know what life is going to throw at you next week.

pinkyXstary

sonastin wrote: »

To be honest, and I hope you don't mind me saying so, I read this as a geniune enquiry of "is this an option for you". Your defensiveness is wholly understandable as it clearly isn't an option but I hope you weren't offended by the question as I'm sure RAS didn't mean it as a dig at you for not working. We're just trying to make sure that all bases are covered!

The best way to succeed at this is to not try to do too much too soon. It is easy to bite of more than you can chew so to speak and then get dispirited and give up because its too hard. Focus on one thing at a time and try to get that properly incorporated into your lifestyle before you make another big change. You've got enough on already without trying to live the most frugal existence too. And its not like you've got a mountain of debt to start tackling so you are in a position to take it slow and build it up properly.

I'd start with planning a few simple meals each week for home cooking and limiting your shopping to stuff you know you'll use. Don't get sucked into buying bargains you haven't planned for and don't over-stretch with planning a whole months menu in one go when you don't know what life is going to throw at you next week.

Oh no, Sonastin I didn't mean to come across as defensive, iv'e just re read what I had typed out and realized it came out rather blunt! So sorry RAS!! (My mother always told me im not very good at expressing myself) I tend to find that when I start explaining myself and the reason why I can't work I get into such a state (as it's still a raw subject) and type like there's no tomorrow! Iv'e had people tell me that i'm lazy because I don't work and that i'm using Aimee's disability as an excuse and that i'm also a sponger and I shouldn't have had my kids so close together if I couldn't afford them... The joys of the internet some people are so rude and don't even understand my circumstances! Here I go again rambling and getting moody lol!

As for meal plans I think it's a great Idea! Just had a look at some other posts and have started to make one tonight
I do have a lot on but am terrified that with the way the economy is changing I COULD end up in debt so want to take the right steps to make sure that I wont when things get worse

maman

:wave:

Here's a few ideas:

Start a spending diary. Keep all receipts and write down ever penny you spend. Then you can look through it all at the end of the week/month and see where savings can be made. It'll give you a starting point.

Make a list of everything in your cupboards, fridge and freezer so that when you do your meal plan you plan to use what you've got in before you add anything to the shopping list. Stick closely to the list (some say don't buy anything else but personally I buy any good offers that aren't perishable on things we use regularly).

If you shop at a major supermarket, switch to Aldi (or Lidl) and then just top up at the supermarket.

Try to buy everything you need for the week in one shopping trip. If you keep popping in for a few bits you'll end up spending more.

Take snacks/drinks with you when you go for appointments. Take away coffee prices are ridiculous!

Good Luck! and :T for making plans BEFORE you get into debt.

pinkyXstary

maman wrote: »

:wave:

Here's a few ideas:

Start a spending diary. Keep all receipts and write down ever penny you spend. Then you can look through it all at the end of the week/month and see where savings can be made. It'll give you a starting point.

Make a list of everything in your cupboards, fridge and freezer so that when you do your meal plan you plan to use what you've got in before you add anything to the shopping list. Stick closely to the list (some say don't buy anything else but personally I buy any good offers that aren't perishable on things we use regularly).

If you shop at a major supermarket, switch to Aldi (or Lidl) and then just top up at the supermarket.

Try to buy everything you need for the week in one shopping trip. If you keep popping in for a few bits you'll end up spending more.

Take snacks/drinks with you when you go for appointments. Take away coffee prices are ridiculous!

Good Luck! and :T for making plans BEFORE you get into debt.

Thank you! I hadn't thought of doing a spending diary but that is a fantastic idea! x

kazmeister

Hi pinky and welcome to MSE

You sound absolutely devoted to your job, you are a "Home Economics Executive" and work in excess of 100 hours per week. You are also currently undergoing additional training in Finance Management. I think you need to give your self a massive pat on the back.

I have some ideas about meal planning so as theyre lengthy I will PM you them.

Kaz x

pinkyXstary

kazmeister wrote: »

Hi pinky and welcome to MSE

You sound absolutely devoted to your job, you are a "Home Economics Executive" and work in excess of 100 hours per week. You are also currently undergoing additional training in Finance Management. I think you need to give your self a massive pat on the back.

I have some ideas about meal planning so as theyre lengthy I will PM you them.

Kaz x

Thank you so much x