The Bankruptcy Board

southernscouser

Firstly I want to make it clear, I'm not against you.

Bakeybadoo wrote: »

I recall black saturn making an post not so long ago that definitely showed most of us his/her true way of thinking so forgive us if we are on the defensive where this user is concerned.

You missed where we were insulted and called 'financially naive'? That's acceptable was it?

I'm not defending anyone coz I didn't read the posts but I think most people who get themselves into debt are financially naive. I certainly was. But we are learning from it aren't we?

And, I think you'll find when I replied at first to both users in question, I was pretty nice about explaining my feelings.

Again, past posts have put some of us on the defensive. The ensuing comments sealed my belief they came here, again and again, to just stir the pot further.

Sure you can be defensive and wary of peoples posts. But you can clearly see the difference between someone helping and trolling.

If I was included in that, you are very wrong. I post here daily, on this board and do nothing but try and offer assistance and support and ask for the same in return.

And without that this site wouldn't be what it is.

I think maybe you should take a look at your own board (DFW) before slating ours personally.

Again it's that them and us thing. I'm not being biased, DFW is where I do most of my posting but we don't regard BR as 'you lot over there'!

As for looking at DFW, firstly that suggests to me you accept that there is an issue on here and I admit there can be one on DFW. I've had many a 'discussion' with abusers on that the part of the forum. It doesn't matter where it is, it's unacceptable.

If people stick around and read around, they can see this is a generally supportive and friendly board, if they can't then we can't help that can we? We are who we are and I personally think we are a pretty fine bunch of misfits, not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but for the stress we are under, which unless in THIS position, you cannot understand, we try our best to help anyone who stumbles our way and is in despair.

Hey misfits are alright by me!

But as for us understanding, no we can't fully. But we aren't even given the oppurtunity to try and learn. It's like you (not you personally) feel the need to put this barrier up to keep anyone not BR out!

Maybe this is why stigma sadly still exists?

AlanD_3

Bakeybadoo wrote: »

And here come the followers. Really, I'm done, if you don't reside on this board or have a need for it, why come if only to tell us that we are a big bunch of meanies?

I see none of you here on a regular basis, offering support and advice but let some drama unfold and bingo, you have an interest.

SS isn't included in that last paragraph by the way.

I would tend to agree and it does highlight your earlier point but I am afraid you being right about previous encounters etc isn't really a full excuse.

Pot etc please go and read Martin's message at the top of the thread. It is clear you have not.

Please can we all now stop the US and THEM posts. The terms may be being used explicity by BR board regulars but BR board nonregulars are displaying the same attitude in a very clear way too.

There is no need for it.

Everyone now please go and read Martin's rules and guidance on posting in this board. Those are the rules to follow and they are clearly being ignored.

Thank you.

southernscouser

AlanD wrote: »

Ok.

Please can we all avoid any us and them statements.

I am seriously thinking about removing myself from the members list because of it.

This is a support group.

I refuse to see that there are even sides IN this "argument". I didn't even realise there was an argument until quite a way down the page.

I want to save money but at the same time I feel BR is the only way I am going to get the fresh start I need to do that at this time. The money saving side of things will be more useful to me after the ORs meeting when we'll need to tighten our belts and rebuild our future properly.

There may be different philosophies or whatever but frankly there are the same rules.

BE HELPFUL. BE FRIENDLY. BE POLITE. BE CONSTRUCTIVE. BE NONJUDGEMENTAL.

Thank you.

Well said that man! :T I'm assuming you're a man! :rotfl:

southernscouser

Bakeybadoo wrote: »

A link, yes but when and if they want that type of advice, they'll come over to the DFW board I assume. Or if not, they'll ask specifically for DFW type advice and DFW regulars can offer that or we can advise them to come over.

As I already said, I would not wade onto the DFW board and scream at everyone and anyone, who has huge debts, with huge deficiets every month, to go for BR. It's about tact and sensitivity. And considering which board you are on.

I've not screamed. Well I hope I haven't.

So you want to argue semantics do you? Ok. I'll try harder next time to put DFW and BR instead. As if it makes that much difference.

I do not go onto any other board here so for me this is MY board, as in, I post here. Not it's mine and you aren't allowed here. I assumed my wording would be self explanatory. Obviously not.

I don't quite know what semantics mean but I think I know.

I'm didn't mean to imply it as your board or my board but the them and us that seems to reside.

Oh please. They didn't give as good as they got? Ok. We'll agree to disagree.

Unless abuse have removed posts from them I didn't seem doing any lynching!

We will have to agree to disagree. Thats the beauty of opinions.

Little_Miss_Winner

Pot etc please go and read Martin's message at the top of the thread. It is clear you have not.

Yes i have read Martins message, i always read the forums guide notes on whichever forum i may be visiting at the time. Thankyou.

elantan

i honestly thought all this animosity had finished i didnt realise this was still going on ...i went into the dfw board and noticed a letter from richard which prompted me to come over here and see what is happening ...wow it aint finished yet then ...richard i only ask this as a question not to start anything but did you post the letter on other boards?i only ask as i never see albertross or black saturn on dfw at all so maybe your letter wont be read by them ...and why particulary did you pick the dfw board (if that is the only place you posted ) as they are never on there?...cant we ever let this lie... please it's leaving a bad taste in my mouth (now should i go and repeat this on the dfw board i dont know)

NekoZombie

I've seen black saturn on the 'old style' board. And we all know how militant some posters can be on there.

elantan

yeah they scare me over there as well ...maybe that's where the candle light idea came from ..i do remember black saturn from when i first joined and cant take away from her the lengths she went to to get out of debt very methodic in her cutting back and it certainly worked for her (i couldnt do it however ...but then i'm a wimp) but havnt read any of the posts mentioned here or on the df board by richard

rog2

Hi Emmzi, Bakey and everyone :beer:

I am a bankrupt, and post regularly on the DFW board AND the Bankruptcy Sub Forum.
I have been away all week and whilst I saw the particular thread, that is being referred to, I was unable to post my comments as I was not able to log on.
I, quite honestly, fail to see why this "US and THEM" attitude has been allowed to develope.
Apart from the 'expected' abuse by the known 'TROLLS' and those frequent 'Intruders' who are drawn to these boards either through boredom, immaturity or pure sadism, I find that the majority of posters on this board are genuinely helpfull and usually most sympathetic to the plight of others. There are, of course, some posters who sincerely believe in 'Tough Love' and their posts may come accross as 'offensive' to some posters. To these, I would simply say 'Try to put yourself in the position of the person asking the question, and, please, consider the effect that the tone of your answer may have on that person, BEFORE posting.'
We need to remember our roots; As Richard_S quite correctly pointed out in a thread last week, the Bankruptcy Board was born out of necessity, due to the huge 'success' of the BCSC thread, of which I am proud to count myself in the original number.
The BCSC was 'honoured' by Martin, when he started this 'Sub-Forum' and I am sure that there was NEVER any intention to 'segregate' bankrupts from the main DFW board. After all, with the exception of previously mentioned Trolls, we all wish to become 'Debt Free' otherwise we would never have joined this forum in the first place.
For many people in debt, bankruptcy offers the only solution to their problems.
For others, bankruptcy may be forced on them, often through circumstances that they are unable to control.
Either way these people need, and benefit from, the advice of others.
They do NOT need to be told that bankruptcy is 'an easy way out of debt'. They are already going through enough of the dark stuff, as it is, and by posting on these boards the majority are genuinely trying to confront their problems.
I have, already, seen the 'disappearance' of many long-established posters over recent months. It is a great shame, since their experience could have been of immense comfort and reassurance to many New Posters. Much of this I can only attribute to the consistent 'bashing' of people in debt, often by those who have yet to appreciate that they too could, one day, find themselves in the position of needing help and advice.
I have, often, been tempted to 'give up' on this forum, but, time and time again I find great help, and inspiration, from both the DFW and Bankruptcy boards, without which I would have 'given up' long ago.
So PLEASE let's get away from this 'US and THEM' attitude, and let's get on with the common goal of Dealing with Our Debts' in the manner which is most appropriate for our individual circumstances.

Sorry for the 'Rant' and thanks for reading. :beer: