How young is too young to "fly"?

Queenie

Plum_Pie wrote: »

... I hope when I have kids, I don't turn out to be a 'Do your chores on your chart or no supper for you, my lad'- type. I fear I might though!...

Aha!! and that is the first way to put them off doing any chores around the house on a regular basis

I am an advocate of chore charts - for clarity for them! - but I err more on the side of rewarding good behaviour rather than punishing poor behaviour.

I have a friend who has 6 sons aged 10-21yo. She was at her wits end being the do-er, giver, driver, skivvy and general dogs body to one and all.

I introduced her to the websites above and discussed how I reward my lads when they have completed their work. After all, don't we all say to ourselves, "I've worked really hard/done a good piece of work = deserve a treat/to spoil myself a bit". She implimented a chore chart/division of labour system which was "rewarded". Those rewards would vary depending on the age of the child and how well they had worked (she couldn't afford to reward them with a night out at the flicks every week!!)

Six month on, not only is she still standing firm on her resolve, but they are now so used to doing their bit and she no longer has to do *all* ... they are much happier and have found they enjoy much more quality time together too. It's a win-win.

evilwitch - it will last all the while *you* remain constant, encouraging and rewarding

Gingham_Ribbon

No such thing as too soon imo.

DS1 was walking well enough by 10 months that he could carry a toy while doing so, so he was encouraged to put his toys away. That has been his job from then. He's nearly 3 and a half now. He wipes up his spills (sometimes) helps spread his sandwiches, puts toppings on pizzas, fetches the cutlery to the table, helps put the ingredients in the bread maker, baking and taking things to the bin. Sometimes he helps put away the groceries too. He goes around with the vac attachment while we're hoovering too.

I had another mum tell me she thought I was being cruel when she saw me encouraging him to put toys away in the library. She said it was our job to look after the children (which of course it is) and she would do everything for hers. I thought at the time, 'everything except teach them how to look after themselves.' It's not the way I want to do it. He contributes without thinking about it and we make it a game. He will hopefully never assume that it's my job to do everything.

Example, the other day he decided it was 'too hard' to put his railway track away. He has a lot of pieces and most of it was out. So I made it a game. Find 2 pieces and put them away, find 3 pieces and put them away. Can you count 8 pieces and put them away? Find 2 curved pieces, find 2 junctions etc. When he got rid of all the track, he was counting cars and trains to put them away too. 'I'll find 2 blue ones mummy' etc.

Queenie

I've only had 5 children, so I'm no expert, but in my experience most toddlers want to "help" - washing up, cooking, tidying, gardening, car washing etc., - they desperately want to mimic the grown-ups.

More toddler tantrums are caused by parents saying "no" than parents saying, "ok".

Yes, it takes time out of your day - but hey, these are *life/survival skills*.

When they ask, let them, encourage them, teach them. When they get to 13yo they believe they know it all anyway, so why not cash in on it while they are willing, able and enthusiastic?

I remember when I had my first child, my brother wrote him a letter (gosh I wish I'd kept it!) ... it said: "In the next two years, you'll be taught to walk and talk, make the most of it, by 5 years old, you'll be repeatedly told to 'sit down and shut up' "