Not feeling so happy!

Shineyhappy

Warning! Self indulgent rant coming on!!

Ok, for those who dont know I am in the process of being my ex out of our flat. We agreed a sale price of 12.5k about 6 months ago and that included 500 towards his share of the mortgage and he had the joint account and didnt have to pay me back for buying a 1500 pound fish tank (yes I am !!!!!! for that and no it wasnt in writing).

About two weeks I received a letter from C&G saying we were 2k in arrears due to him not paying any of his share from the day he moved out. No one told me about any arrears before then, even when I phoned up each month to pay my half.

He has delayed until this week returning forms so we can complete and so now I am lumbered paying off these arrears as he has refused due to house price rises. If he hadnt already had all that money off me and hadnt delibrately dragged this out I wouldnt have minded. But I was ready to complete in January and he had more than enough cash to pay the mortgage that I had given him.

Anyway due to the arrears and him wanting more money and dragged out solicitors fees I am not plunging further into debt.

In all I am likely to end up with a credit card with 5k on it a top up mortgage of 10k and the original mortgage of 152k.

On the plus side, I will own my own home (well a tiny bit of it) and have the security it brings.

I have to say that before the extras I was looking forward to getting rid of the small Egg balance and then working to pay as much of the top up mortgage off as possible.

I just now feel really down that I am going to have this much debt.

I know I could sell my flat and not have all the debt, but then I probably would struggle to buy somewhere on my own from stratch again.

All I can say is get everything agreed by the solictors in writing when you split up with someone as any other agreements get quickly forgotten about even if you have them in writing from the ex.

Sorry for being so self indulgent its just been a very stressful, very worrying few weeks and tbh I will be glad to know I will have no financial ties with him any longer. Well, apart from a joint account Lloyds dont seem to want to cancel:mad:

Rant over, now I just have to work out how to pay for all this

Toto

I'm sorry everything is so difficult with the buyout. House buying/selling is stressful enough without the addition of a difficult ex.

A quick not though about the Lloyds account. You really need to either take your name off this or cancel it, make sure they do. Because if the ex decides to run up a load of debt on it, you could become liable for that too.

You are on the home stretch now, can you take in a lodger to ease the stress of the extra mortgage and credit card bill? I know it sucks that you're in this position but it will soon be over, then you can make decisions based on what's best for you.

ThankYouAndEnjoy!

shineyhappy wrote:

Sorry for being so self indulgent its just been a very stressful, very worrying few weeks and tbh I will be glad to know I will have no financial ties with him any longer. Well, apart from a joint account Lloyds dont seem to want to cancel

has this joint account got any money in it or an available o/draft? Does your ex have a card to this account or authorisation to speak/take action on the account? (other than just spending?)

if so, you need to press lloyds to close this account down, otherwise you could find you ex spending on it and you being in an even worse position....

virgin_moneysaver

they need both signatures to close a joint account or to remove one of the parties - if he won't play ball tell LLoyds there is a dispute & they should freeze the account so he can't use it but bear in mind if there is an overdraft on it even when frozen you are still liable for the debt - sorry!!

Shineyhappy

I have kicked up such a fuss about thr joint account that Lloyds put a freeze on it which has means we both have to sign something to take it off.

However I really dont trust him and I dont trust Lloyds. Initially they refused to do anything and what really worries me is that according to my online account I can apply for an overdraft!!

I dont trust him as far as I can throw him.

Thankfully I already have a lodger and I am being as DFW as possible, which has been hard not to comfort spend (think I can live with a 2pound double pack of chocolate biscuits a week).

I am thinking of renting all my flat out and/or getting a second job for a bit to get down the intial debt.

Thanks everyone for your kind words, it does really help

immoral_angeluk

I don't know anything about mortgages (We rent..lol) but just wanted to offer big hugs and hope everything gets sorted for you soon.

Shineyhappy

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

I don't know anything about mortgages (We rent..lol) but just wanted to offer big hugs and hope everything gets sorted for you soon.

Thanks very much!

I hope you are feeling more cheerful too! With all this lovely weather we should all be happy, but all I want to do is crawl back into bed. I need a good harsh kick up the backside!

We all have lots of fab things in our lives, but sometimes it is just too easy too get a bit down. I suppose at least I have all the highs off paying back this debt to look forward too! It always cheers me up just paying a bit off a card or something. That sounds quite sad doesn't it?

It is hard for me as my new bf has no money worries at all, which I suppose I should be really gratefull for, but it does mean I dont think he quite gets where I am coming from. All my friends have mummy and daddy still paying for gap years or never ending degree courses (We are all 26!!!). So they dont understand. Bf has been an angel and is lending me some money till I can get a 0% cc but just doesnt get why I worry as he just says let him give me it! However I guess I have my pride and borrowing for a month is ok, but I dont think I could accept that kind of money from someone I have only been datig for 3 months.

I know there is male pride, but I think females are entitled to their pride too! It is just hard when all your rl friends and family dont have any money worries and any advice you get is ask your parents to pay it. :mad:

This message board is a real life saver as I think we have either been in the debt boat or are in the debt boat.

Shineyhappy

Just back from the bank having wired 6k to my solicitors and charged 20 pounds for the honour of doing so.

I just hope that this time tomorrow I will be the sole owner of my flat! I will not count my chickens as everything that could go wrong has gone wrong.

As you can see from my signature I am now well into my OD and had to borrow 500 from my bf to avoid all my bills bouncing and then getting charged a fortune in bank charges.

Hopefully in a few months time I will be more financially settled and can look back and this and think thank god the worst is over!

Now all I have to do is play pinyata (no idea how to spell that) with my lodger untill he has paid his rent!