Advice needed - Contact Order/No Order Principle

DougalButler

Hi everyone

I have applied for a Contact Order through the Family Court in order for my child to have regular overnight staying contact. This Order was sought by me as since our separation and subsequent divorce my son had not enjoyed overnight staying contact with me. This was over 3 years ago.

As part of this process the Judge instructed my ex and I to attend Mediation. Through this my son began to have overnight staying contact with me, one day each month. This has gone very well, and my son and I have very much enjoyed the time we have had together.

I am due to go back to Court again in early February 2013. My ex has agreed to my son having future overnight staying contact with me on alternative weekends and provision for access during holidays etc.

Whilst I am happy with this she, through her solicitor, wishes this to be in the form of a written agreement. The solicitor has also quoted the 'no order principle' in their correspondence to reinforce her wishes.

My dillema is this: I have already spent several thousand pounds in legal fees getting this far and am concerned that without an Order being granted that she may renege on the terms of the written agreement, given her past behaviour and that this has no legal worth.

In addition, could I insist that she agrees to a clause that she would pay all future legal costs, including mine, if she fails to adhere to the written agreement and I have to go back to Court ?(and I would then seek a formal Contact Order)

Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.

Kind regards.

mum2one

Thats good that you have both managed to get everything sorted through mediation, and that regardless of what is happening your both putting your son 1st.

I might be reading wrong so apologies - your saying that your ex wife is agreeing to overnight stays, but the solicitor wants "no order", - as the court are involved - have you got a solicitor, as I thinkg that you do need everything in writing, to protect both of you.

There may be ocassions that your son could be poorly, and can't make the ngt, but you don't want that being a regular thing, (i'm just thinking aloud). The court may say that there is a 12 mth agreement to overnight and review from there, or if there happy enough that you both stick to the arrangement it may just be a ongoing order.

I doubt thst the court would put a clause in regarding future costs.

sfm82

If she has been difficult in terms of getting contact with your son I would go with your gut and get a court order. I'm incredibly suspicious that your ex is requesting a written agreement with a no order clause.

If in the future you manage to get a better relationship going you'll hopefully start to make verbal agreements in terms of contact.

Are you being represented by a solicitor?

wayne0

i agree with sfm.

since your already in the process of courts, carry it through... its not far left now...

like you believe, she can backtrack on a written agreement. they are not worth the paper they're written on.

court orders are ORDERS to be followed... if she fails to follow them without good cause then she can be "punished" (the likelyhood being low though)

go to court, and finish it up, if you close the case, you wlll be back at stage 1 - and need mediation etc again...

i was foolish to agree to mediation three times with my ex... and every time it set contact back with my son... - things looked positive with contact recently... so solicitors etc not been involved, and once again it went pear shaped...

came to take it to court, and its back to the same old crap.

just finish up dude. she obviously knows that shes fighting a loosing battle when it comes to court...

she cant use the "take it to court and you wont get contact card" - unless you are "not of good character" (voilent / druggie etc) then its in the childs best interests to see you and have MEANINGFUL contact with you (this means more than an hour or two a month etc )

mum2one

Do courts actually do anything if the parent with no care doesn't bother to keep to the court agreement? x

kevin137

mum2one wrote: »

Do courts actually do anything if the parent with no care doesn't bother to keep to the court agreement? x

They are more inclined too now yes...

mum2one

I would def go the court route, there involve cafcass, it may feel like your going back to step one and over everything again, but once in the hands of the court, - your get definate answers a way forward and your both know where your stand.

It sounds like she wants a "private" agreement and then she can change her mind at the last moment. xx