Split up with BF

Shineyhappy

"Shineyhappy I'm sorry to hear you are in a similar position and I'm glad things are working out for you. I will definitely try and keep the flat no matter what happens as long as I can afford it. How long did it take to get to the point of transferring ownership to you?"

Well we split up in September, due to another woman and also due to him deciding to attack me and then call the police. In December he told me if I dropped the charges he would sell me the flat for a fair price.

I got loads of valuations and showed him the lowest three. Imo he deserved that. He has since delayed and messed about and we were due to complete today but he didnt get his form back in time. Apparently he posted it on Friday, shame it was guarenteed post he used:mad:

Anyway I am pretty fed up with the whole flat transfer thing and after an incredibly stressful day I am just about ready to go home to a bottle of wine and a plate of comfort chips.

It hasn't been easy but I think that is mostly because my ex thinks he can keep me hanging as a safety net. If I told him I was now dating someone else I think the spiteful ^&#%^er would pull out.

Besides if you do find it too tough, maybe you could rent the place out for a bit and rent somewhere smaller with friends?

Best of luck whatever you decide to do and feel free to pm me to maon about useless exs!

esthomizzy

Thanks. He doesn't accept my valuations unfortunately and he asked the estate he saw what to market at not what a realistic sale price would be. I've suggested getting a surveyor but he's dragging his feet.

There was someone else involved in my case too although I'm not certain she has left her partner (possibly not). I am very bitter about the prospect of them running off into the sunset with a stack of cash it will be so hard for me to come up with. Still if he's genuinely that much of an Ar*e then I'm far better off without him. If only I'd realised that 5 years ago.

Shineyhappy

esthomizzy wrote: »

Thanks. He doesn't accept my valuations unfortunately and he asked the estate he saw what to market at not what a realistic sale price would be. I've suggested getting a surveyor but he's dragging his feet.

There was someone else involved in my case too although I'm not certain she has left her partner (possibly not). I am very bitter about the prospect of them running off into the sunset with a stack of cash it will be so hard for me to come up with. Still if he's genuinely that much of an Ar*e then I'm far better off without him. If only I'd realised that 5 years ago.

Splits involving joint assests are usually messy. I believe in karma and knowing my ex and his 19 year old constantly unemployed gf, that they will have blown any money he gets from me and then some in a few months.

Yep no doubt they will have loads of fun, but I will be sitting in my own home that has gone up in value and that I will be working hard to pay off.

In a years time, she no doubt will be on her next bloke and he will be begging to come back. Not that I want him back!!

I would guess karma will happen to your ex and when it does, yes money maybe tight, but then you will have something to show for that so :T for you and :mad: to him.

I too get annoyed that I wasted that much of my life with such a w#$%ker but at least we both will have something to show for it!

takuhii

You could start by reviewing your finances.

Lets take a look
Council Tax £68.75
This may come down (unless you have already confrimed this with your local council) becuase you are living alone.

Telephone £11.00
Broadband £24.00
Find a company who will provide you telco and broadband for a set fee, Sky do Sky TV, Broadband and Phone for about £26 a month

Electricity £42.00
Gas £25.00
Water £28.00
Use a website like USwitch to see if you could save some more cash, as previous contributors have said, this figure will probably fall, becuase you won't be wasting as much space as he is

Bike repayments £30.00Is the bike yours, is it a motor-bike, mountain bike, do you need it?

Credit Card £500.00
Cash £200.00
These are areas you can reduce, what could you possibly be spending £700 a month on. I would get rid of the credit card and just use cash. £200 a month for food?? Me, my wife and my three year old boy spend just £85 a month on groceries. This is more than enough for the month, and we eat three proper meals a day. (not wanting to sound like your dad there!!)

AUT £14.14
I have no idea what this is, is it mandatory?

Emergency £50.00
BRILLIANT, if only everyone did this

Friendly society bond £25.00
Lottery Joe £4.00
Lottery Elmy £18.00
Are these essential, why not play just one lottery, or if you have to play, halve the amount you spend on both... Lottery ticket is only a pound!

Just a few ideas, good luck
Darren

esthomizzy

takuhii wrote: »

You could start by reviewing your finances.


Just a few ideas, good luck
Darren

Thank you. I didn't see this until now but I did reduce my spending massively. I had no idea it would be possible to live on so little and it's mostly not too awful either. The AUT is a work Union although I could stop paying I'm a bit paranoid I might need their help as my ex got reinstated with their help when he was unfairly dismissed. I'm a bit afraid of tempting fate in that area because I really need my salary. I'm really glad I decided to tighten my belt and keep the flat.

mountainlioness

Hi - am really sorry you're going through all this...

I don't really have anything to add to what other posters have put but given you pay your union dues have you thought about calling on their member services? As far as I remember, many unions offer financial and legal advice to members, as well as general support. I wonder if that might help?

esthomizzy

mountainlioness wrote: »

Hi - am really sorry you're going through all this...
?

Thanks Mountainlioness The worst is over by far. I feel a lot better about my whole situation now and it's not as hard managing on less money as I thought. I didn't realise it when I had lots of spare cash that I was spending so much of it on frivolous stuff like drinking out and restaurants and expensive food. Because I'd sort of built up what I was doing over years I hadn't realised it was a lot more than I needed to spend. Because I work public sector I've got a cost of living rise coming up too which will make things easier too.