So depressed about my debt (VERY long)

want2bfree

Sorry to come on here moaning but I really do feel like crying and I don't feel as though anyone I know could possibly understand how I feel.

Here's my problem. I'm 26 years old (soon to be 27) have been in debt ever since being given an overdraft when I opened up my student account at the age of 18. Started quite small, the overdraft in question was only £150, then opened a few store cards each with limits of around £200. At 19 I'd left uni and got a job and after a huge confrontation with my Mum she dragged me down the bank and had me take out a £1000 loan paying £85 over 2 years with my bank to consolidate my debts. However I didn't learn my lesson, by the time my loan was finished at 21 I had taken out different store cards amounting to around £4000, and an overdraft of £1000. As i'd just paid off one loan I was getting lots of pre-approved offers from my bank so I took out a £5000 loan to consolidate these debts paying out £150 a month for 4 years.

A year later I'd stupidly re-opened all of the accounts i'd paid off with the loan and took out another £5000, same payments and term to try again. So was £10,000 in debt at 22. At this time my income was around £750 a month and £300 was going out on these two loans alone without the £85 I had to spend of busfare, £50 on my mobile bills and £250 rent. I was sick of feeling left out from not being able to afford a social life (an average night out is around £50 due to the £35 taxi fare home) and discovered credit cards.

By July 2005 I was £22,000 in debt. My income was around £960 a month and my debt payments were £600 a month, I was doing okay, never missed a payment but then there was the threat of redundancy which possibly meant me having to take a lower paid job and looking at at least a £200 wage cut. So I decided to start a DMP with Payplan, opening a new bank account with Abbey. They allowed me to pay £350 a month which meant that should I have lost my job I could have still afforded my payment with a lower salary.

Luckily though I got a new permanent job with the same employer with only a week to go before my contract ended. I carried on with the DMP until January of this year when I made the decision to end it and go back to full payments to my creditors. I had had quite a bit of trouble due to Payplan paying money 2 weeks late thus incurring late payment charges and not contacting my creditors to renew the DMP when each 6 month period was up. One creditor in particular - Lloyds TSB had no record of me being in an arrangement for 12 months and no amount of me phoning Payplan could make them write to Lloyds TSB to set it up again. Eventually Lloyds lost patience and told me that whilst they understood my frustration at not being able to get Payplan to co-operate I now only had two options I either de-instructed Payplan and dealt with them directly or faced going to court. I chose the first option, reverted to full payments to them and all of my other creditors and have had no trouble since.

This has meant however that my payments increased to just over £550. But as I am on a permanent contract on a higher salary with quite a few steps left to go before I reach the top my my scale meaning that my monthly wages tend to increase by £50 every April & August. Also I told my mum all about my debt and she agreed to reduce my rent to £150 a month. My debt as of today stands at £16,170. Out of my £550 a month payment £355 gets cleared off my debts, it should go down to just under £15900 something tomorrow when I make my next lot of payments. If I continue to make payments as I have I should be completely debt free by early 2010. Now while I can't say my life isn't great it's not that bad either. After my £150 rent, £550 debts, £50 busfare, £30 phonebill and £30 broadband (necessary for part-time degree I am studying) I am left with over £300 a month of my wages. At least I would be if I didn't have to pay for a 2 week hol in September (family wedding). But after my July pay that money is free again.

I would be quite happy to save that money up and use it to pay lump sums off of my debts but I'm getting increasingly worried that whilst I commit myself to paying out nearly all my money on debt I have no life to speak of. I am after all still living with my parents, I haven't allowed myself a night out with my friends since early 2005. I can't drive, nor can I afford to learn. I'm single and will remain that way until my debt is gone, after all how can I afford to go socialising hoping to meet someone and even if by some fluke I met someone the very first time I went out I could never afford to go on dates so that would be the end of that. I'm facing the fact that i'll be past 30 before I can even consider moving out, renting my own place and starting to socialise again. I had niavely thought that maybe if I was really good for the next year or so, met all my payments, made sure there was money left in the bank each month. I could improve my credit rating sufficiently for me to go into my bank, explain my circumstances and hope they would consider my application for a loan for £10,000 (would not allow myself to apply until my debt was at this level) thus reducing my outgoings enough so that I could finally afford to move out from my parents house and rent somewhere. Yes i'd still be skint but at least i'd have something to show for it, my own place and I would finally put an end to all the pitying comments I get from my colleagues and my friends for living with my parents past the age of 21. However this dream has gone, I now realise from reading through this site that my credit rating will have been irreparably damaged and that no one creditor would touch me with a barge pole for a good 5 years or so. So it's back to the no life til i'm past 30 plan again. Right now I honestly feel Like I could quite easily end it all - the ironic thing is that I wouldn't simply becase I wouldn't want my parents saddled with my debt!

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

B2B-2008

I would just like to say that I am in the same position as you. At 27 I am £22000 in debt. All my extra cash is going into savings so that I can make a lump sum on my loan. I was also on my own for a while but met my partner through a dating website. He also has debt and is also saving for our wedding and to pay off his debts. We have never really been on any dates as we can't afford to and save up our clubcard points to get DVD's as our treats.

I get really low sometimes as we want to try for a family after the wedding but I really want to clear my debt before this happens and sometimes I can't see that happening.

You have just got to stick at it and try to think positive. Things happen when we least expect them :T

Storm

Hi Want2BFree :hello: and welcome to DFW

Why don't you pop up a SoA (see southernscousers sticky) so we can see if there's any savings to be made for you? Your debt is by no means the worst on this board, so there's nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm also in the 'single & penniless until the debts have gone' group - but I do find free or dirt cheap ways to get out of the house & meet people.

Keep smiling, you're in the right place!

chevalier

Hi there want2bfree. It is a very frustrating place you are at now. And it is very hard watching life pass you by.

BUT

There are some things you can do that don't need to cost the earth. So here are some suggestions

1) those friends that you haven't been out with for a couple of years, how about you invite them around for a dvd and nibbles night? Every body brings something according to the income, a dvd, some pringles or whatever. That way you get to see them, but on the cheap.
2) Go to open days for things - eg local stately home, museum etc. Open days are free and you can get out of the house at least
3) not sure what your degree is but if you are in the student union, then you could go to their monthly meet (if it is the ou) and nurse a pint of lime and water alnight or something. Another way to meet some more people
4)Could you get a couple of shifts of bar work. A bit of socialising and getting paid for it too (so this could be paid off your debts, or the wages could be put to driving lessons?)
5) Have you got anything you can sell. Eg on ebay, amazon, green metropolis etc. Anything you make could either pay extra off your debt, or to treat yourself for a night at the cinema with a friend(if you have an orange phone you can get 2 for 1 deals on a Wednesday)
6) What about volunteering. Eg the Woodland Trust, National Trust etc always need volunteers, and they often pay for bus fares to and from where they are working. With summer coming on you could meet new people and get fitter as well
7) There a lot of websites that you can do surveys on, or get points or cash with. Here are a list below. They would also boost your income a little.

https://www.lightspeed.com - this is a survey site, where you get points which turn into vouchers (you choose). May not help with the cash flow, but the vouchers could be saved towards birthday/xmas or given as presents.

https://www.caio.co.uk - survey site that gives money. A bit fits and starts ie no surveys for a couple of weeks, then three or four the same day.

https://www.yougov.co.uk - again paid surveys. However takes a while to get to the minimum payout level

https://www.pigsback.co.uk - this is a points site, ie they give you points for buying things via their site. BUT you also get points for signing up for news letters (some of which are even interesting!), and also for clicking on adverts with pink borders. I have spent NOTHING with them but got a £10 voucher through this week (only been registered since January). There is also a thread in the freebies section, which gives you all the daily answers to the competitions so you can have a better chance of winning on them.

https://www.mutualpoints.com - another points for clicks site. You can also buy things via their site and get points too. For a long time, I just clicked the links in the emails they send you, and that gets you 5 points. At 3000 points you get £20 I think. You can do searches via their site and that gets you points too.

https://www.quidco.com - this is a cash back site, so very good, for checking if any potential new insurers (ie if you have checked your contents insurance say and found a new provider), are offering cash back. Eg Lloyds was offering £120 cashback on new policies at one point (the offers do change). You can also get small amounts of cash again for doing searches via their site. You can earn 52p a day by doing this. Every little helps.

https://www.greasypalm.co.uk - another cash back site, where you can do searches and get small amounts of money. But it all adds up. I think you can get about 50p a day on there for nothing. Minimum payout is £20 I think, but you can sign up to survey sites via there, and get extra money that way for nothing.

8) Finally do you have any bank/credit card charges to claim back. If you do then set up a basic bank account elsewhere (using quidco to get some cash back too:D ) and start a claim.

Best of luck and sorry it is so long!
chev

Rimmer

want2bfree wrote: »

I could improve my credit rating sufficiently for me to go into my bank, explain my circumstances and hope they would consider my application for a loan for £10,000 (would not allow myself to apply until my debt was at this level)

Dear God, have you learnt nothing from the past 8 years? Do not get another loan unless you have to! You need to take responsibility now. You need to get out of the habit of falling back on loans. Your parents have been very kind in letting you stay and I think you'll have to carry on staying with them to save money.

You got yourself into dire straits and you must be feeling awful. But the best way to overcome it is to say to yourself: "I've learnt my lesson and now I'll have to pay for it".

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, as I'm sure most people here can testify. But considering the amount of money you owe, you don't really have the option of renting out, unless your parents kick you out.

System

Hi Want2b, welcome to our world and rest assured you are amongst friends here who have more debt, the same and less debt than you. We are all in our current plight for different reasons but one thing we are united in is paying the debt back and redefining our spending habits. As you know, the people on this board are topline and will help allay any fears, bad feelings you may have. Believe me this board has helped me in more ways than one. I'm 36, in the Navy where people look to me for advice and I have to be strong, I have a family and when I feel down, I get on here vent my feelings and within minutes I'm right as rain. Firstly dont get another loan to pay it off. WHy did you stop your DMP? Is your interest still frozen on your CCs and Loans. It may be worth giving CCCS a ring to see if they can help or you could self neogotiate with your creditors - they will probably listen. I think Rimmers advice above is well intended but maybe the line is a bit strong afterall what you need now is support, not a rollocking - although a rollocking is what we all need but not at the moment. Lenny

Rimmer

I say what I say knowing that everyone else will offer (((hugs))) or whatnot.

But there is too much easy credit out there, and people are taken in without realising the responsibilities they will then have to bear.

I'm not experienced to offer some of the excellent advice thats been floated on this site and to everyone who does offer this: :T :T :T

System

Rimmer wrote: »

I say what I say knowing that everyone else will offer (((hugs))) or whatnot.

But there is too much easy credit out there, and people are taken in without realising the responsibilities they will then have to bear.

I'm not experienced to offer some of the excellent advice thats been floated on this site and to everyone who does offer this: :T :T :T

I know Rimmer you are right to a degree, I just wanted to provide a buffer for want2b and make sure she knows we all care. Let's leave it at that so want2b doesn't get sidetracked by our ramblings! Lenny

dubgirl

hi want 2b free and welcome - i think you've had what is known as your lightbulb moment and it may sound corny but this is your first step. I would follow the previous advice and post your SOA - there are plenty of bods who will happily help you to find ways to economise and improve your situation. Please dont give up, there is always a way to sort things out.

Donedoingdebt

I'm going to sound like an old person now, but early 2010 really isn't that far away although it may seem like it & just turned 30 is the prime of life. I wish I'd stayed at 35! As for meeting someone, well, you never know. I met my wife when I was delivering magazines to a kids soft play area & we just got talking. You'll feel much more positive as your payments build up & you can see your debt decreasing so you won't always feel this low for the next 3 years. As others have said, try & keep away from the consolidation loans. They're the reason a lot of us are on this site.

david_hellier

Hi,

Welcome. We'll all help you more if you post your SOA as Storm suggested.

Dave.