Debt Free in 2013... I can do this...

hereigoagain22

I hate snow and cold weather. It's freezing today so stuck in the house. It's just windy and wet (slushy?) and horrible today. Depressing!

Ahh things with the ex are so complicated, he stayed last night which was a big rush and mistake and now thinks we can jump back together and carry on where we left off. I feel like I have no freedom. I feel so smothered, he doesn't give me a single day to myself just to think and figure things out. I get at least 10 long messages each day. He just won't leave me alone I'm strangled. Last night he brought DD back because he said she was unsettled and he was a right state - crying, sobbing and shaking and saying he isn't coping with life, can't live without me etc. and wasn't going to be okay that's how he ended up staying. How can he put me under that type of pressure and responsibility? We have a session of relationship counselling/mediation on Friday. I think he hopes it will get us back together but really I am looking for a healthy split and letting go of past issues. Who knows what will happen in future but I don't want him in my life just now.

I wrote my notice to the landlord but forgot to post it, and now my 2 year old has ripped it up - haha ;-) So need to re-write it tonight!! Council Tax form all filled in and ready to be handed in tomorrow.

girlatplay

Maybe the mediation will give you a proper chance to say all that clearly so that he understands it better. Hopefully.

hereigoagain22

Had a good few days until today. Been keeping busy, sticking to my budget and resisting temptation in the shops :-) Yesterday was a great NSD - we went a long walk then to my sisters, did painting and made cakes with the kids (all eaten now of course) and then I came back for an early bed!!

Counselling was pretty awful today. What a mess. I need to learn to be a bit more assertive and say what I mean rather than going along with the option that causes least hassle. I seem to be back in a relationship I don't want to be in. Yet again I have to break my ex's heart by telling him I don't want to be with him now or in future. I have this fear that he'll take his own life if I properly cut him out as he is quite depressed at the minute with everything that has gone on and has threatened suicide a few times and reminds me everyday he needs me and can't cope with life without me. Anyway won't go into it too much since MSE isn't really the place!!! A day I want to forget.

Didn't have a NSD either as bought sweets and a can of coke while I was getting fuel for my Mum! Eeek.

Been snowing pretty heavy today, had a little play in it with my eldest for half an hour but she's only 2 and isn't that bothered and I hate the stuff so the rest of the day we hid inside and watched it from the window.

I still haven't done anything really from my To-Do list. Just no motivation. I've still got a big pile of dishes and tidying up to do then I'll collapse into bed for another sleepless night with the youngest. Hopefully I'll get some bits and pieces done tomorrow. I'm going to write a new To-Do list, breaking everything down into tiny baby steps and write 1 or 2 small tasks in each day and eventually I will get through it all. I never realised moving house is so much work. The actually unpacking is done but there's so many things to do and update - never ending!

hereigoagain22

Well February payments and challenges start on Tuesday... a bit excited actually!!

Tuesday income - 175

Tuesday outgoings -
Electricity key 20
Greenwoods 45 (much more than usual as arrears from house move)
Food shop 25 (small shop as have 20 butchers voucher to usr)
Night out with friends 20
Spending on kids/groups incl. bus fares etc. 20
New pram raincover 10
O2 bill 40 overdue eek
Spare 15 for anything overbudget

Next Tues (12th)
Elecs 20
Greenwoods 15
Spending 15
Petrol for Mum 10
Food shop 40
Spare - should be 75 which will be left in bank

Friday 15th salary - 600
"Dig" money 60 (only pay this per month plus elec and gas bill)
Final rent payment 325
Finao Ctax payment 120 (estimate)
DDs and SOs for debt repayments (need to figure out amounts)
Dont think I will have anything spare although if I have anything left (plus the 75 fromTues) I might have enough to pay Wonga

Tues 19th 175 Tax Creds
Food shop 40
Elecs 20
Petrol for Mum 10
Greenwoods 15
Spending 15
Again I should have 75 spare and this will go to BoS account to try to reduce the overdraft. Actually just remembered I need a mail redirection (hand keys back 3rd Mar) so some will pay for this.

Mon 25th Child Benefit 134
Need to buy anything kids needs for nursery for me returning to work and stock up on snacks etc. they can take as food not included. New shoes for DD and new snowsuit for DS. Anything spare gets saved for a day out.


Tues 26th Tax Creds 175
As usual Tuesday budget of 100 plus 75 to spare... Pay to BoS

Will update more later as on mobile and off to bed. I let the eldest nap 4hrs today so she's only just going to bed. I'm exhausted as the youngest still wakes at least 6 times a night!! Tomorrow I need to get electricity with my last £5. Then we are visiting my Dad and brother, then my sister and then home for kids to sleep then my ex's Mum coming in the afternoon. Beef casserole to go in the slow cooker in morning with dumplings and tatties... Yum!!

Ex and mother still harrassing me daily... I am sure they are conspiring against me to ruin my life!!! Xx

girlatplay

All sounding good apart from the Conspiracy Theory! Try to let it flow off your back. You are doing so well and you will definitely get there x

hereigoagain22

Thank you.

New February budget started today. Not done too well.

Food Shop £45 (overbudget!!!)
New raincover £10 (and doesn't fit!)
Electricity £20
"Night In" Goodies (alcohol, sweets etc) £15
Greenwoods £20
o2 Bill £40

I have £20 remaining to withdraw which will cover toddler groups etc.

Feeling a bit dishearted - I've moved to Mums but still don't seem to have any cash left.

girlatplay

hereigoagain22 wrote: »

Tuesday income - 175

Tuesday outgoings -
Electricity key 20
Greenwoods 45 (much more than usual as arrears from house move)
Food shop 25 (small shop as have 20 butchers voucher to usr)
Night out with friends 20
Spending on kids/groups incl. bus fares etc. 20
New pram raincover 10
O2 bill 40 overdue eek
Spare 15 for anything overbudget

hereigoagain22 wrote: »

New February budget started today. Not done too well.

Food Shop £45 (overbudget!!!)
New raincover £10 (and doesn't fit!)
Electricity £20
"Night In" Goodies (alcohol, sweets etc) £15
Greenwoods £20
o2 Bill £40

I have £20 remaining to withdraw which will cover toddler groups etc.

Feeling a bit dishearted - I've moved to Mums but still don't seem to have any cash left.

Your first post comes in £20 over budget. Your second post comes in £5 under budget. Have a look again and see if you definitely have all your amounts correct. There are differences in posts one and two.

You really really need to start a spending diary. Everything from your digs to a chocolate bar, water for DD when you were out, the 10p you put in the charity box, the 2p that fell out your purse and rolled away that you couldn't find. Ok, extreme but I do mean it

The raincover came in on budget but it doesn't fit. Return it. Right away. Don't waste time, don't waste money. Either get the right one or don't get one at all.

Remember, once you are rid of the rented place you won't have to fork out on the bills for that. Your money should even out and spread out a bit better over the month.

(((hugs)))

hereigoagain22

Thank you.

Oh dear, need to be more careful! I'm usually working things out with the kids on my knee and typing one handed. Oops!

Correct Tuesday budget

Opening bank balance = £4.59
Monday paid in = £175.67

Given to Mum for electricity = £20 (online bank transfer to Mums account)
Greenwoods = £20 (withdrawn in cash, still in arrears)
Iceland food shop = £44.79 (debit card payment, overbudget as forgot to order online - must do this every week from now on)
Cash withdrawal = £20 (no receipt but this was all sweeties, alcohol etc. unnecessary things in other words)
Raincover £9.99 (debit card payment)
o2 Bill £39.00ish? (debit card payment)

Remaining bank balance £26.77
Remaining in purse £1.75

I'm going to need bread and milk before next Tuesday. I also don't have anything to feed the baby and can be guilty of buying jars instead of making from scratch. Nothing else planned but I would normally go to toddlers group tomorrow for £2.25. Then soft play at the weekend for £3.50 plus a drink and snack for both of us.

I also spent £3.20 on a bus ticket to do the shopping which came from change leftover in my purse.

I can't return the raincover because I didn't keep the receipt or the packaging. I will list it on the Facebook sales page to try and salvage something back!

Just about to fill my diary out with everything spent and a plan for the rest of the week. Thank you for keeping me going!

girlatplay

I'm sorry if my last post sounded harsh. I typed a whole massive post and lost it :mad: even although I copied it first ready to paste it separately just in case :mad::mad: System had a wee blip so I was just trying to remember everything I had said.

Anyway, it isn't as bad as you thought. For the baby meals, do you have a blender/food processor or something? Just puree whatever you are making for yourself and DD and give some to DS. That is pretty much what baby food jars have in them anyway. Just keep an eye on salt content although I don't expect you will be salting DD's food anyway.

Scrape through to next Tuesday and, according to your plan, things should be better then. Definitely go to toddler group today. It is good for the kids to mix with other kids. Soft play will be fine too. It is just going to be a tight week. You'll get through it though

hereigoagain22

No, not harsh at all! Really helpful and encouraging actually. My messages can be quite short too as the kids like to "help".

We've have a good day - walked to toddlers and back and my ex came over for a coffee while the kids had an hour long sleep (bliss - it's very rare that both sleep at the same time), he had to go home early for the doctors though. We are getting along quite well just now. We have another session of counselling a week tomorrow.

Eldest has just helped me make dinner (Gordon Ramsay's Tomato Meatballs) so that's another day of sticking to meal plan. The youngest is now due a feed and another little sleep so me and the eldest can do some colouring and jigsaws and then a bit of tidying so we can all relax after dinner.

I set up mobile alerts for my bank and this morning it came in really helpful - had a text to say my balance is £3.82 so checked online banking and discovered Sky has come off a week early. But it's the final payment of £22ish so can cross that off my list. I have had to borrow £10 from my ex until Tuesday but at least it's interest free!

I also forgot to mention I went into work on Tuesday and they are trying their best to get my lump sum paid next Friday. Not as much as I thought - will be around £800 but that should pay all my final bills plus Wonga. Then no more bills for the flat so I should start to see a lot more progress.

Have plans to keep us going until Tuesday - tomorrow morning me and the kids have our nursery induction then off to my sisters for lunch and taking some value flour and salt I need to use up to make some salt-dough animals at my sisters. Then home for dinner and an early bed. I will need to ring tax credits once the kids registration at nursery is complete and it'll then be setting me back £750 a month although tax credits will cover 70% of that. It shocks me that I will be paid less than the people who look after my kids are being paid. My Mum says it's her turn to buy bread and milk etc. and she will grab a few bits for the baby while there so tomorrow is a NSD.

Saturday we have a birthday party so bus fare is £3.20 bus at least snacks and drinks are free!

Sunday is usually our day visiting my Dad and brother and Monday it's grandparents visiting day. Then have toddlers group and a few sessions of nursery induction again.

Back to update soon, the eldest is screaming MUM MUM MUM in my ear xx