Hoarding - A New Start

Mumof2_2

DH's downfall is books really - he has loads and loads of them, almost every day it seems like he has more coming in from A****n and if we go to a Charity Shop he almost always gets at least one. He told me he'd love to have books lining all the walls of all the rooms and even up the stairs - I told him I thought that'd be awful and I hated having books everywhere and honestly you'd think I'd just said I'd been having an affair with his best friend for 10 years . Don't quite know how we're going to get around this as they're in the dining room, creeping into the lounge and even his bedside table is stacked with books *sigh*.

Now I can admit I have a problem - I suffer with OCD and have to be really careful about lists so Lostinrates your suggestion to Granny28 wouldn't work for me. I do keep lists, but am unable to put everything on - I've been banned by the therapist I was seeing . I can see it would be a good idea though for when you're having a really hard day and are incapacitated and when I started on my antid tablets I had to do that as I lost all my focus on everything - not a happy time.

momofmonster

Hello all

I am new to the forums and on reading this thread i have found my home!!!

I am a terrible hoarder but i do it for silly sentimental reasons. I can't throw things out because so and so bought it for me and i dont want to hurt their feelings. I can't throw out certain items of clothing because i wore it on a particularly good day/night out and it reminds me of that. I can't get rid of the books because i really enjoyed that one or get rid ov dvds because i went to see that film with so and so and had a great time!! Stupid reasons.

However i made a big step in my life last year! I split up with my boyfriend of 6 years and decided to take on life as a single parent!! My ex was a lazy pig and while i worked all day he would sit around playing the computer only taking time from that to take our boy to nursery. so he did nothing to help me!

i have started to declutter by piling things up ready for sorting!! this is where i realize how bad i have got, especially with clothes. There are currently 5 black bags, a box full in one cupboard, 2 large boxes in my bedroom, 2 wardrobes full of clothes and a very large pile of clothes!! Not including my childs clothes/clothes currently in the laundry, etc!! I'll make a fortune down cash for clothes!! my inspiration right now is that i am saving for a new washer/dryer and if i can get rid of all my clothes through cash for clothes/ebay/charity/bin then i think it will be a big step toward me getting a new one!! I'm hoping to make a start this weekend so wish me luck - i will need it!!
i think after that it's paperwork - official letters/cards/ pictures from my boy (they are all special but i really dont need one hundred pictures of squiggly lines)!

This year is my new start to my new life so really hope i can stop hoarding everything or my mom might come in and just throw everything out!!

whitewing

Years ago, I went to a cottage that had built in book shelves lining the stairs. It was quite oppressive, even for a book lover like me.

The book decluttering will come after other types of decluttering, I think. I now don't have to keep every book I read. We have 3.5 bookcases in the house and that holds all that we keep. Others:

text books may be resold to amazon,
good fiction to a friend to read and pass on
good reference to Oxfam usually, as they have recycling bins
really quality books may be regifted to family as part of xmas hamper gifts

I now actually more enjoy the thought of a book travelling round from home to home being read and passed on than it sitting in a bookcase.

I like the suggestion that we are all intelligent! Flattery will get you everywhere! Actually, it chimed with me because I was thinking about what good jobs/experiences people on here seem to have. It wouldn't surprise me in a why because if hoarding is when the decision-making process goes awry, then you have to be able think to be capable of needing to make choices.

Patchwork_Quilt

Perhaps hoarding books might be unhealthy as well as oppressive. Think of all the dust ...

As for jam jar hoarding, that was a specialty of mine too. I have limited myself to one cupboard full, which is brimming, but I used to have three cupboards full. I can honestly say I haven't run out of jam jars yet. If I did, I have several friends on standby who can raid their recycling for me at a moment's notice.

whitewing

Someone ought to invent a thingy that can attach to a jam jar to make a humane mouse trap. That could help solve a few problems.

Where do all these jam jars come from? Do you all make Victoria Sandwiches? Who eats jam on a regular basis?

RAS

whitewing wrote: »

Where do all these jam jars come from? Do you all make Victoria Sandwiches? Who eats jam on a regular basis?

Most of mine are ex-pesto jars or ex-gherkin or ex-olive jars.

Like the small ones best.

Goldiegirl

whitewing wrote: »

The book decluttering will come after other types of decluttering, I think. I now don't have to keep every book I read. We have 3.5 bookcases in the house and that holds all that we keep. Others:

text books may be resold to amazon,
good fiction to a friend to read and pass on
good reference to Oxfam usually, as they have recycling bins
really quality books may be regifted to family as part of xmas hamper gifts

I now actually more enjoy the thought of a book travelling round from home to home being read and passed on than it sitting in a bookcase.

My books are now contained in three bookcases. I used to have boxes of books in the loft, but over the last three years, I've been able to move a lot of those books out of the house. Some have been eBayed, some sold on the Greenmetropolis site, some to charity shops and others to friends. I've got a Kindle now, so don't get too many new books in, so as long as the books I have remain housed in the book cases I'll be content

It's very pleasing to feel that other people are going to enjoy my unwanted books. I apply to that philosophy to all the things I no longer need. To me it seems easier to let them go if I think someone is going to get some pleasure out of the item.

I've been to work today. It wasn't too busy, so I had an opportunity to dejunk my desk drawers. I didn't have too much clutter as I'm only there two days a week, and I've only worked there three years. However, my desk is tidier now.

I worked at my previous job for 28 years, so you can imagine how many folders of information and general junk I had. The whole office was made redundant, so it was actually quite liberating getting rid of the accumulated junk. Although we were all sad that an era was coming to an end, we really enjoyed the de-junking!

lostinrates

Patchwork_Quilt wrote: »

Perhaps hoarding books might be unhealthy as well as oppressive. Think of all the dust ...

As for jam jar hoarding, that was a specialty of mine too. I have limited myself to one cupboard full, which is brimming, but I used to have three cupboards full. I can honestly say I haven't run out of jam jars yet. If I did, I have several friends on standby who can raid their recycling for me at a moment's notice.

Books do make dust but you can Hoover them with the upholstery attachment of the vacuum.

There are books I will part with, but honestly, not the bulk of them. E.g. We have no kids but I have a couple of shelves of books for visiting kids. The most frequent visitor makes his own way there now, chooses what he wants and brings it back to me. I cannot imagine not having such a resource for visiting kids. Likewise, overnight friends read at bed time....

karren

omg im not alone then, i love reading and did have books everywhere but I gave loads to the hospice i work in to sell in shop,
ive still 3 bookcases but tehy are mostly craft books, and annuals and childrens books, I now have kindle so thats amazing

I run a brownies group and use jam jars for alsorts
and i make jewllery so the beads are in jam jars or dowe eggbert jars

this is better than therapy as im not alone in my little habits lol

ive managed to par down my craft stuff to a cupboard and they are only allowed in there, its crammed full but its better than all over house like before lol x

JayneC

Goldiegirl wrote: »

It's very pleasing to feel that other people are going to enjoy my unwanted books. I apply to that philosophy to all the things I no longer need. To me it seems easier to let them go if I think someone is going to get some pleasure out of the item.

I find this too - I am quite happy to part with things that others can make use of, hence my house is full of pointless carp that no-one really can make use of, but somehow in my mind it has potential and if I could just find the right person or project then it would be of use....:o

But the light is dawning and progress is continuing to be made.
- Emptied my artwork folder and chucked everything away, not a single piece worth keep but has been following me round for years. I did keep 2 books of special paper (one still in its wrapper)that will be e-bayed or carbooted as it's quite expensive.

- Consulted with DS on whether I should keep all the kids school reports and certificates, he thought I should so they're still there. Just one folder each. I realised early on that I really couldn't keep all of their artwork and special projects (I have 5 kids so you can imagine the quantities:eek:) So as well as the folders I have a shoe box with cards and little things they've made for me over the years. I think that's quite reasonable. My mum a few years back gave me a huge box containing all of my school books from primary school!!:eek:and other carp. It went in the bin I'm pleased to say...

-took some bottles and jars to the recycling - not really sorted out properly just had a look whilst tea was cooking and easily grabbed a bag's worth to go.

-Also gone is some miscellaneous papers including printed off amusing e-mails and interesting magazine articles....:o

I even changed the curtains, been meaning to for ages as I had some flimsy things up that are pretty but don't really keep the place cosy. Now have some equally pretty but more substantial curtains.

Getting to the more difficult bit's now I fear - it's under the bed to sort the boxes...