lionheartedgirl... moving on

lionheartedgirl

morning,

developments:

a couple of possibilities have come up via the accounting agency and I'm being put forward for a job that would be just great.

had a big email session yesterday and sent my contact details to a long list of events agencies and hotels. Also found more to get in touch with but am saving it for another day.

had a fab run on Tuesday which has gee-d me up a bit to get going again. The grumps/mojo waning is really sapping my inclination for this but I enjoy it when I'm out and afterwards.

picked up a book last night that I tried to read back in the midst of the wedding that wasn't. It was wrong at the time but seems to be striking chords now so I will carry on with it.

Although my spirit is a little low, I don't feel unhappy by any means and this is an important realisation to hang on to :T

A couple of circumstances may be dragging me down a bit. I know these are temporary, and fundamentally, I am on the right track and it feels really good. :j

lionheartedgirl

Afternoon,

money is dire but in control. Just. Am being super careful and feeling pleased about that. After all my years on here, honestly this is the first month I have actually been properly MSE about everything. It's shattering but working.

I am sat waiting for everything at the moment. Waiting for news on 2 potential buyers - one waiting for mortgage application stuff, one waiting on a pre-planning decision (which I can't see any issues with) before anything can go ahead.

I've been put forward for a couple of jobs, nothing yet. Waiting for that. Not heard back on the exciting one I'd applied for, and the deadline to hear is today so guessing it's no interview there. But still kind of waiting just in case :rotfl:

So this is taking its toll.

I've come on here to have a little chat to myself about the new man. I'm waiting to find the right time (and energy) to end it.

I've been feeling up and down about it for a while, knowing it's not quite right but enjoying finding out if it could work long term.

He has a few k worth of debt but is in no hurry to do anything about it. He doesn't earn much, and has a couple of high interest rate cards. We'd talked a lot about money early on, especially after he owned up to doing a bunk on a house he'd bought/debt he'd run up in his early 20s which almost sent me running for the hills. He knows how much debt I'm in, and why, and seemed to be listening and getting things sorted. He's been bailed out by his parents before, they've done it again to reduce his cards and he's meant to be paying them back.

At the weekend he spent £950 on a new bike. On his credit card. Suddenly there were excuses made about not being able to go out for dinner as planned on Sunday evening (which wasn't going to be an expensive one anyway as I had 2 vouchers for Pizza Express), then he said about his car tax being due etc. Then a bike ride came up this Saturday, entry £30. Which he's doing.

I have no issue with what he does/how he spends his time but I was a bit gobsmacked about the bike. I thought he was on message and sorting himself out but it seems not. He's not going to change and as we all know, I've been here before.

So it's not about the money :money: :cool: :rotfl: (well not all), there are a few other things going on too but this is something else to go with the other niggles, and therefore it needs to be knocked on the head.

He will be gutted but I can't see it working long term. I hate doing it but it's not right and it's very draining fretting about it.

I was walking the hounds this morning, and felt as though life is pretty stress free (apart from the monumental house issue, which should be resolved soon :eek:). Apart from him, and the house of course, not much else is troubling me and that's a pretty good place to be.

lionheartedgirl

I'm a single girl again. Sad to have the conversation as he is really upset about it but he took it brilliantly at least.

So now as per every other break up, he suddenly looks like the most marvellous person in the world and I'm wondering why I thought it wouldn't work out. I'm reminding myself of all the incredibly annoying things and the money issues and just getting on with other things. It does feel like the right thing to have done.

Money has been hard and I have had a couple of blips. I have a small buffer of a couple of hundred pounds before I hit the overdraft limit, and I made the decision that I need to use some of that for transport, as sitting in on my own all summer is not realistic.

Food spends are great, the odd bottle of wine has made it home but I've cut down drastically. A kind friend bought me tea and cake earlier in the week and this was wonderful.

Still nothing on the house, but Monday there should be some news, so I will be nudging the estate agent to nudge the potential buyers if nothing is forthcoming.

Nothing on the job front either. I didn't get an interview for the fabby sounding part time job but never mind. At least I applied.

I'll send my CV to another couple of agencies over the weekend and follow up on Monday.

Otherwise, plans next week are to tidy the garden up and GET STUFF ON EBAY!! Oh and to get stuck into reading about matched betting.

I went into Oasis yesterday, I have about £40 on my card from when I returned my broken handbag. Could I find anything lovely to buy? Nope. So I'll hang on and wait for something to come up.

lionheartedgirl

Morning,

Still a bit stuck here but a few chinks of light at least.

I have an interview early next week (time tbc) for a part time-full time temp/contract job not far away. I REALLY hope I get it. I'd prefer not to work full time so I can keep harp stuff going through the summer, but in all honesty, sitting around fretting about the house is doing me no good so it will be helpful to have something to distract me. And the money will cushion if the house doesn't go through on my preferred timescale.

Still waiting for news on the house but again there are a couple of positives afoot here too. I should have more news by the end of the week.

My mum sent me a few extra quid to cheer me up and it was a wonderful surprise. It means I can get a couple of bits of cycling kit, mine is all winter stuff so no good while it's as gorgeous up here as it is. All in all it's just a little extra breathing space and I am so grateful.

Things with the man - over the weekend I was very very honest with him about what I thought about his money situation. I'm really upset about it all, as he had a long conversation with his parents and the upshot is, they are bailing him out yet again only this time they are giving him a large deposit on a flat as well.

He skipped out on a mortgage and a lot of debt when he was a lot younger, and I am angry because I have always, always done the right thing with all my bills and debts and just worked my !!!! off to pay them.

This is the first time my mum and dad have ever helped me out, with letting me off rent until my place is sold, lending me a little to get some work done on the old place and giving me a few quid as pocket money when they can. I am SO grateful for anything they do, and I know they do it because they know how much I appreciate it if you see what I mean.

The green eyed monster never does anyone any good, and I'm not going to let it eat me up but boy am I angry about it all. On the upside, it's completely changed any feelings I had left for him and now I don't want to know any more.

On a more positive note, the sun is shining here and has been most of the week. I finally cleared some stuff out of the garden and garage and tipped it all yesterday. I am going to get out in the sun again today, either on my bike or in my running shoes, maybe both. It's going to rain the next few days so the painting can wait til then :cool:

lionheartedgirl

Wow, just looked back at when I last posted and didn't realise it had been over a week, thought it had just been a couple of days!

Anyways. Long post alert!

Exciting news on 3 fronts.

Firstly, last week I had a call from the estate agent to say that one of the potential buyers was ready to proceed (was waiting for a planning enquiry confirmation) so this is all go. Hopefully it will go smoothly.

Secondly I had a tax refund through - I was on the higher rate at my old job, so was taxed accordingly, but only worked half of the year so overpaid as a result. A nice cheque for £800 arrived in the week - 2 days after I'd tried (unsuccessfully) to get through to the tax office to chase it up. SO pleased as this was almost half of the money I needed for my August bills.

Lastly, I had an interview yesterday for a temp job at one of the councils up here and

I GOT THE JOB!!!

:eek::eek::j:j:eek::eek:

I just can't describe the relief.

I'll be working 3 days next week and then full time until I go back to college, with the possibility of a couple of part time days when I am back if the project is still going on.

It's good money and interesting work, with nice people. It's about 40 minutes drive away but it's very pretty even along the motorway so I don't mind.

While I was apprehensive about taking on full time work, the freedom this will give me, and the sense of utter relief I feel now are worth the effort.

I have 4 days now to get everything organised so that things don't go out of control when I am back to work.

Hopefully the house will all go through without too much drama/delay (I'm ready for some, been through this a couple of times now!) and then the money I will earn can go towards reducing my debts further.

I'd intended to clear all my credit cards with the proceeds from the house sale, and leave the loan to run until it's all paid off. It has 4 years to go still.

If the house goes through mid August, and I hope it will, I can reduce the outstanding loan balance significantly.

I may even be debt free (apart from student loans) by the end of next year, which would be just incredible.

Exciting times here.

I feel like ending the relationship I was in has cleared the way for other good things to happen, almost like it was blocking the way forwards, does that make sense?

I've had a little wishlist of things (all quite low cost) I wanted to buy/do when I was a bit more secure on the money front so am quite excited about these and will be plotting over the next few days.

I'll also be paid weekly, so this will really help cashflow and mean that I see the fruits of my labour regularly which is nice for someone who likes instant gratification

If the house doesn't go through, the extra money will give me a few months extra towards the costs of running both houses, and will mean I can stay afloat until early next year, with student finance coming in from October. This should be enough time to get another buyer if required, but I feel reasonably confident this one will go through OK.

I had a couple of plans for the weekend but other than a few pottering around bits and finishing some painting, I'm going to take it easy and enjoy a fab weekend of sport. Tennis and mountain stages of the Tour de France make for a happy girl! :T

Back soon with some lovely detailed money ramblings :cool:

banwa

What a lovely post, wonderful news. So good to see all the effort paying off. Selling a house is extremely stressful on its own, to have everything else going on too, well I think you're doing marvellously.
:T
Good luck with the new job

Banwa

catriona79

Hey Lionheartedgirl,

So pleased things have turned out well for you! You sound much more upbeat in your recent posts. Congratulations on your new job!!:)
Also, good to hear a positive break up story. I feel that I need to do the same, but still not plucked up the courage to do it... We only moved in together at the start of June, and it's already quite bad. Separate bedrooms too, because he doesn't want to be woken up at 6 when I wake up for work. Hmmm... Bizarre. But together with all the other issues - it's just another sign telling me to do it! Will have to wait till when the time is right, and I can occupy my mind with something.

Have a good weekend!!

lionheartedgirl

*skulks back in guiltily*

well 6/7 weeks later I still haven't done all the lovely money plans I was going to do :rotfl:

It's pretty fair to say that things have been utterly mental for the last month. The job is awful and losing all my precious unstructured time has hit very hard.

In the midst of this (and this is really wonderful), I met up with a guy who I'd known virtually for a while and things kind of exploded in a really good way. It's a long story but a good one which I will share another time. To summarise, he is lovely, sensitive, generous. And SOLVENT! :money: As a result I've been burning the candle at both ends for most of August, and last week I finally crashed with a throat infection.

Except I didn't, as I had to push through it and go south for a couple of weddings which no one else could cover for me. It's cost me a couple of sick days which I won't get paid for (hence catching up with myself today!), which is a pain in the !!!!, but there's no way I'm in any state to sit in a dull office where no one talks to each other let alone to me, and no one has sat down to give me a handover regarding what to do despite me pushing and pushing.

The only good thing about the job is that I'm getting handsomely paid. I'm trying my best to stay positive and happiness personified about it, but it is truly miserable :mad:

The house is rumbling on and looking like it will all be OK, but with no definite date in sight yet. So this is getting me down a bit too, and feels like it's getting harder despite the finishing line looking nearer.

I've hardly spent any money - no vending machines or shops nearby and no time off in the week along with no time inclination to go shopping at the weekends means that other than the odd bottle of wine, not much is leaving the bank account.

A couple of big annual house expenses have had to go on a credit card but these will be tidied up once the house is sold so this isn't too concerning.

I do need to tot up just to keep an eye on running costs and plan for the next few months, but really things are just ticking along with nothing much going out and a reasonable amount coming in. I'm also on emergency tax at 40% which is hurting, but this should come back to me soon.

My calendar is jam packed for the next couple of weeks, but all with wonderful things that I am not putting off under any circumstances.

I've missed things here so promise to come back sooner next time

lionheartedgirl

PS - catriona79, hope things are better for you now. The hardest bit is deciding to do something about it and acknowledging there is something wrong not a quick process but I hope you find/found the strength to do what you need/ed to do.

lionheartedgirl

A rather gloomy update.

On Friday I should have been exchanging but my buyers pulled out. This left me in a dreadful state in the middle of Morrisons in Fort William (where I got the phone call) with the poor chap who did not know what on earth to do with me

An alternative plan was hatched over the weekend but this didn't come off either, and they are definitely not having the house.

I'm exploring all the options open to me but whichever way, it is going to continue to be a very bumpy ride over the next few months. One of the options involves deferring my course for another year but I am really keen to avoid this if at all possible. It starts again in 2 weeks.

I will have some money from my temp job through October, they've offered me a couple of days a week on another project after the end of this month so hopefully I can fit this in with the start of term before things get too manic.

On the plus side, I've just had one of the most amazing weekends ever, up in Applecross. A spectacular part of the world, a very tough duathlon but I survived it and really enjoyed the bike ride. This is proving useful fuel for the soul and will keep me going for a good few months yet.

I am so utterly disappointed, but the sheer devastation of Friday evening has pretty much passed. I'd spent the previous couple of weeks struggling to eat and sleep, worrying to a ridiculous level even for me. Over the weekend I've figured out I have GOT to let it go if I am going to be able to function properly let alone enjoy life with all this going on.

So. Tonight I've pulled out all the numbers and faced the true horror of the next few months of mortgage payments on a student income. I'm unsure exactly what the next move will be right now, but I won't be rushing into any decisions over the next couple of days at least.