Relationship help - its a long post I'm sorry

System

In life ive discovered one thing:

The more you do, the more that is expected of you.:(

jessimacalucy87

feels like i have just read about my own life and appreciate reading the responses too, only difference in my situation is that i do not work, so he guilt trips me into doing everything while he plays on his xbox due to me doing nothing! every day off is the same with him though, straight up and straight on his latest game because in his opinion he deserves to do nothing at all on a day off. we havent even been out anywhere together in the last year because after work he is too tired and on days off he needs his rest, cant remember the last time we went on a date even.

I think for me too it is time to go.....new year, new start!

Errata

I have PCOS and would eventually like a family

In that case you need to find an adult male to be father. At the moment you only have a 12 year old teenage boy masquerading as an adult.

Valli

jessimacalucy87 wrote: »

feels like i have just read about my own life and appreciate reading the responses too, only difference in my situation is that i do not work, so he guilt trips me into doing everything while he plays on his xbox due to me doing nothing! every day off is the same with him though, straight up and straight on his latest game because in his opinion he deserves to do nothing at all on a day off. we havent even been out anywhere together in the last year because after work he is too tired and on days off he needs his rest, cant remember the last time we went on a date even.

I think for me too it is time to go.....new year, new start!

Another way of looking at your situation is work the equivalent number of hours he does. So weekends are your time off, too. A bit of meal planning and eating from the freezer would help - and just leave the pots etc. When he asks why YOU aren't clearing them up tell him you've already done your 37.5 hours (or whatever) this week, shopping, cooking, cleaning etc.;) If he can have the weekend 'off' so can you;)

DS4215

If he is no good with electrics then take the fuse out of the xbox. It will stop it working and you can then have a conversation without him wanting to do something else instead. And he will have plenty of free time to help out around the house. If he still doesn't then the decision is made for you!

Tish_P

You shouldn't have to tick or cajole your way into making a partner behave like a caring human being. Six years is lonmg enough to know it's not going to change, so I say leave!

A similar problem is discussed here, including some intermediates betwen the "put up with it" and "leave" options: http://captainawkward.com/2012/08/20/3861/

pinkshoes

OMG! Please can you tell me what you actually like about this "man"????

He sounds like a complete and utter tw*t! You sound like a nice person, so please explain to me why you would want to spend your life with and have children with someone who treats you like their mother?!

There is NEVER a good time to end a relationship. Just do it.

How any more years of your life do you want to waste on this guy, when you could be out there looking for someone decent who respects you equally as a partner?

Sounds like you've given him more than enough chances. I know it's scary walking away from such a long relationship, but perhaps try and see the bigger picture.

mucklebones

I would not want to imagine what having a baby would be like with this man. If you dont ask him to leave now you would if a baby came along jeez they are such hard work lol and he would make things exceptionally harder by the seems of it. Get out whilst time is on your side and find someone else.
Goodluck.

LannieDuck

Your OH isn't going to change - why would he? He gets all the housework done, and gets to play on his games all day. If you want a different response, you need to change. The old saying seems apt: "Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results."

You need to decide for yourself whether you're happy to live like this, and if not, you need to leave.

If you have a child with him, be prepared to do all the extra work yourself. I've got a little 15mo with my (very helpful) OH, and we're both exhausted. We split the childcare and housework - there's no way I could do it all myself. I have huuuuge respect for single parents.

DUTR

pinkshoes wrote: »

OMG! Please can you tell me what you actually like about this "man"????

He sounds like a complete and utter tw*t! You sound like a nice person, so please explain to me why you would want to spend your life with and have children with someone who treats you like their mother?!

There is NEVER a good time to end a relationship. Just do it.

How any more years of your life do you want to waste on this guy, when you could be out there looking for someone decent who respects you equally as a partner?

Sounds like you've given him more than enough chances. I know it's scary walking away from such a long relationship, but perhaps try and see the bigger picture.

Stop blaming the guy in all of this (makes you all sound like bullies).
I can't answer for the OP, but have a think about some of the questions you asked

Perhaps he is a nice guy, everybody has bad habits/shortcomings.
Perhaps the OP lacks confidence in the relationship area.
Perhaps he does not find her attractive / appealing enough to drag himself away from the xbox.
Perhaps he does not excite over the thought of being a parent (in all honesty not everybody does, it's just the done thing for many)

Time is never wasted on a failed relationship, it adds to our knowledge and wisdom of life.