Relationship help - its a long post I'm sorry

Valli

G2012 wrote: »

I agree! The problem I do wonder though is when he was at home his mam done everything for him, woke him up for work, carried his dirty dishes downstairs and washed them... And I think I've just let it carry on from there even though I voice my discontent every few months.

So, don't wake him up for work, don't clear his dishes. If he wants that kind of service he can go back to his mother;) that way HE might end it and leave you;) or realise he needs to change. Win-win for you!

G2012

As previously quoted Valli, you truly are a genius

WantToBeSE

Can i just say though- dont leave him because you think that he'll change if you do.
He may not.
You have to leave him because you WANT to, not because you think he'll realize what he missed.

laurel7172

When I was 27, I had a child with a selfish juvenile like this. And another at 30. Unsurprisingly, I was divorced at 32.

Don't make the same mistake, my dear. "Men" like this don't step up to the mark because they get married (even if it was their idea). They don't step up to the mark because you buy a house (even if it was their idea) and they most definitely don't step up to the mark when you have a child (even if...you get the picture). Mine threw tantrums like a two year old because he had to share my attention...

You've already wasted years hoping that he'll grow up-have children with somebody who deserves you-and them. xx

Cooper18

G2012 wrote: »

Thanks everyone.

If I do decide to end things, there never seems to be a right time to do it and I've never done it before so I'm a bit nervous but hopefully I may feel a bit relieved(?) that's not meant to sound heartless by the way afterwards

Trust me, you will feel like you have lanced a boil! Yes, it's a big change after so long with him, but you're a big girl and you CAN survive without him!

BitterAndTwisted

Picture yourself in five year's time: over thirty, still responsible for all the meal-planning, shopping, cooking and housework. Plus a young child to look after and no wages of your own coming in. Looking attractive to you at all?

G2012

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Picture yourself in five year's time: over thirty, still responsible for all the meal-planning, shopping, cooking and housework. Plus a young child to look after and no wages of your own coming in. Looking attractive to you at all?

Certainly not, which is why I think I am more than a little reluctant to go and seek fertility treatment.


I want to have this conversation with him before tomorrow I feel so terrible, it's literally making me shake with nerves just thinking about it.

Cooper18

G2012 wrote: »

Certainly not, which is why I think I am more than a little reluctant to go and seek fertility treatment.


I want to have this conversation with him before tomorrow I feel so terrible, it's literally making me shake with nerves just thinking about it.

Hugs to you. No better time than now though.

G2012

Thank you everyone for each of your replies, I will keep you updated.

thorsoak

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Picture yourself in five year's time: over thirty, still responsible for all the meal-planning, shopping, cooking and housework. Plus a young child to look after and no wages of your own coming in. Looking attractive to you at all?

Then picture yourself five years later ....same picture but you will be 10 years older

Get out as soon as you can - you aren't in a relationship - you are a skivvy!