What a Right Pickle!

kiss_me_now9

Just my tuppence...

How about, as you could feasibly afford the schools fees *if* you cleared your debt and shuffled some other things around, taking them out of private for the next few years, saving as much as possible and when they reach 11 (and are off to upper school) IF you have enough sending them to private school again then? Would require a lot of dedication but it's a compromise that my work for you.

merlot123

I've been thinking about your situation.


I wish I could say something differently. As I see it you have 3 choices:

1. Children in state education - repay the debt over time.
2. Children in private education - sell the house, clear the debt, move somewhere smaller and slightly cheaper.
3. Children in private education - administer a DMP, trash your credit rating with little hope of getting a good mortgage deal, and most creditors probably wouldn't accept it anyway.

Gosh, I hope someone can think of another solution......

MoneyMission

My tuppence worth too. My OH works in one of the top 5 private schools in the UK (age 13 upwards). He maintains that it isn't the be all and end all. We live in an area with houses worth £750k to £1m plus (not our street though ). Loads of the kids round here go to state infant and junior schools then pop off to private school without any problems at all. They have tutors to help them sit the common entrance exams. A whole lot cheaper than 9 years of private school in the run up to secondary.

Our kids have been through state infant school. Are currently at state junior school and will go to the local state secondary school. If we need to get them a tutor when GCSE's loom nearer then we will.

I know it feels scary and its very emotive. I have friends who do private school and friends who would love to but can't afford it. You have to be independent and decide what's right for you. However, having said that I do feel that you are on the edge of a 'fiscal cliff' with no escape route. Far scarier to live like that than to go state education for a couple of years surely??

primaryteacher

Hi there... thought I would throw my tuppence worth in as I am a state primary teacher and my partner is a prep school teacher so we see both sides of the coin! We don't have children of our own but if we did, we both agree there is no point in private education at primary level - far better to use it for secondary schooling.

The benefits of a private education are of course the small classes, however there are also a lot of negatives which many aren't aware of. For a start, any private school is a business - the aim is to either make money for the owner (therefore they want the profits) or they are a charity - who basically live hand to mouth!! As a result - while in my primary school we have a huge computer suite, interactive whiteboards in every classroom and TAs in most classes to name just three things, my partner's school has none of these.
You will also find that the things which are 'free' in a state school should either of your children require them eg. any extra learning support or an educational psychologist report (not as uncommon as you might imagine) have to be paid for as extras by the parents in private education.

A class of 8 might sound lovely but actually leaves children with very few options for making friends/ team work etc. While I would love to have less than 30 in my class for obvious reasons, I really feel that the optimum number should be about 15. At their age social skills and learning to share / interact / work together / just TALK are the most important parts of the curriculum. A class of 8 is quite limiting! My partner has taught this number as a class before and says it has its limitations (obviously that won't be the way it is 'sold' to you!)

Check out your local state schools - visit them - I'm sure the head will be more than happy to show you round. Read the Ofsted reports online, do your homework and take advice from other parents - but please don't dismiss all state schools as inferior in some way to a private school. It simply isn't true. State schools are VERY accountable!

Finally perhaps, THE most important thing is your parenting! You sound like devoted and supportive parents who fought hard to have your twins. Both my partner and I would say to you that no matter what kind of school your children go to, the children who thrive are those who have supportive parents who spend time with them, encourage, play, talk, read with them etc etc. Which kind of school they go to is a huge second to this - so please remember that when you make any decisions.
Best of luck

steampowered

You both make very good money. The problem is not the school fees, it is your spending. Even after you subtract the school fees and debt payments you are left with £3,060 a month or £37k a year. This is far more than the average wage of £25k.


You were trying to live a lifestyle you can't afford and will now have to make some modest sacrifices due to your very high debts. I suggest the following cuts:

• £200 a month on holidays is incredibly high. You simply cannot afford luxury holidays abroad. Restrict yourself to a week's camping or B&B in the UK, dirt cheap and great fun.
• Stop paying for cable TV. If you watch a lot of TV then subscribe to Netflix or LoveFilm for £6 a month.
• Cut your mobile phone costs, £100 a month is way too high. Get everyone on the cheapest tariff possible and don't buy the latest smartphones.
• Your grocery costs are very high. Reduce spending on expensive items and start buying budget brand products, try MSE's "trade-down challenge".
• Reduce hair-cut spending.
• Check the interest rates you are paying and reduce as much as possible. MSE has a guide on this.

As a practical step, open a new basic account with a debit card. Move a certain amount of money there each month after you get paid. This is the ONLY money your family can spend that month on day-to-day items. Leave the credit cards at home and simply do not use them.

rob404uk

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 1800
Council tax............................. 180
Electricity............................. 100
Gas..................................... 100
Water rates............................. 30
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 100 – too high 50
TV Licence.............................. 15
Internet Services....................... 20
Groceries etc. ......................... 400 – too high 300
Petrol/diesel........................... 300
Road tax................................ 38
Car Insurance........................... 60
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 83
Car parking............................. 10
Childcare/nursery....................... 325
Other child related expenses............ 1800
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 47.5
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 30 – pets or school?
Buildings insurance..................... 25
Contents insurance...................... 25
Essential expenses.................. 5338.5

The above are the essential spends with childcare. If you add your debt repayments ontop, this is more than your combined salaries, so cutting spending is not going to cut it I'm afraid.

As your mortgage is up for renewal and you are unlikely to get a remortgage due to debts, I think the best thing for your children is to pull them out of private school. That is better than being bankrupt and living in rented or social housing surely.

eyeopener2

If you pull the twins out of private school now, and your risking a lot by keeping them there - mortgage for one will increase making your situation worse - and do everything within your substantial means to become debt free over the next 6 years, they could still benefit from a private education from the age of 11.

Is it really worth living on the edge for something that may not really do anything for them at this young age?

I would love to send my 7 year old to private school, but I can't afford it. End of story.

Neither can you.

redpete

steampowered wrote: »

The problem is not the school fees, it is your spending.

Really? The savings you have suggested come to maybe £300-£400 a month, they are £1300 a month short on making repayments against the debt. Not even moving to a cheaper house would come close to saving as much as the school fees.

Over-spending might have been the problem that got them into this situation but the school fees are the main problem preventing them getting out of it.

sillysid

we most likely will have scared you off the boards forever, but primaryteacher's post is very true, in all aspects. Learning begins at home and is consolidated at home. On the plus there is peer pressure from their own classmates, good for the average, above average pupil, and on the minus ditto...

The learning support is abysmal at private schools, they have a duty of care rather than a legal obligation. The learning support is likely to be a teacher with extra duties, and realistically it is not cost effective for them to provide additional support when only circa 10% seriously need it. That's the 90% pass rate and what tutors are for!!! Also you pay for the books at GSCE level too.

Treadmill

I think I would be relieved if I had the option of saving such a big chunk of money such as school fees if I was in this position, cut out the school fees and you are no longer underwater, and thats before any other cost saving measures.

This is an option now to get you out of trouble, carry on overspending as you are and I fear that one day it will not be.