How to stop the cycle of buying for long lost relatives.

Greenqueen_2

We have some distant relatives that we have seen maybe 3-4 times (briefly) in the last 10 years. Every year we buy Christmas gifts for each other and exchange them via a third party relative--the go between. It seems a bit silly really that we could be buying things they don`t want or need and vice versa. I feel in the current financial climate with reduced income for the last couple of years that this is a chore we could do without. The dilemma is how to broach the subject without causing offense. We have bought again this year but I thought maybe we could put a note in before wrapping the gifts. What would you write?

nearlyrich

Just say that you are stopping the exchange of gifts and this will be the last year you do it, you don't have to make any excuse.

whitewing

Does the third party relative enjoy their role as present-swapper? If so, for the sake of a few quid, I'd carry it on.

chanie

I wouldn't put a note in with the gifts this year, but maybe next year, send them an early xmas card (so that they know in advance) and just say something like 'things are a bit tight for us this year so we couldn't afford to give you anything other than wishing you a merry xmas'.

I bet they will probably be relieved and could well be feeling the pinch themselves.

Katiehound

Or, wait until after Christmas, when you have received your gifts and in the thank you letter/note /card explain that after all these years perhaps it is time to call a halt to the exchange of gifts. You don't have to explain why but you might say that really you have everything you want/ or you have a large family to cater for/ or that you would rather give a gift to your favourite charity. They may well be relieved too!
If you write promptly it gives them time to answer, disagree, agree. I certainly would not leave it until an early Christmas card next year as some people buy their presents through the year. Better to bite the bullet early on!

Mojisola

We've had a few notes in with Christmas cards this year from people saying that they won't be sending cards next year. I don't think anyone will be surprised if you say the same about presents. It could be a relief for them not to have to buy stuff for you.

Greenqueen_2

Thanks for all the replies. It`s interesting to see all the differing points of view. I think I will follow Katieowl`s suggestion as this seems the most suitable in our case.

naughtybish

whitewing wrote: »

Does the third party relative enjoy their role as present-swapper? If so, for the sake of a few quid, I'd carry it on.

for all we know the third party is selling the lot on ebay