66k in debt and noone to talk to!

lonelytoo

hello all of you,

I am new to this so please be patient with me.

As you can see from my header I am 66k in debt and very ashamed of this.:(

My husband does not know of this as I know he would leave and I have an 11yr old son who needs both parents.

Got into debt when both my parents died (I am an only child) and suffered severe depression and still do.
When this first happened (about 3 years ago) my Husband was aware and we remortgated to pay off these debts!

Unfortunately there was not enough money, and due to my Husbands reaction when I first told him of the problem, I was too scared to tell him there wasn't enough money.

Stupidly I started borrowing again to try and pay off existing debts etc. Consequently everything just escaleted and I am in this awful position now.

I am with the CCCs and have just started DMP with them.

I have know one to share my worries with but yourselves and was wondering if there were anyone else that has had to hide thier situation from a partner.

If so would very much like to hear from you maybe we could support each other.

If so please get intouch,

for ever hopeful:)

Lonelytoo

hypno06

Hi again, just replied on the over 50k thread x

Loads of people will be along to offer support and advice. Just hang on in there x

danielleindebt

i was in that position too, i wracked up £17k debt. i didnt tell my partner either untill recently. it took everything i had to tell him and i was so glad i did. he wasnt too pleased tho but he is helping me work through it. he said why didnt you tell me sooner.

southwester_2

Well done for opening up on here. I kept it from my OH for 2 years, it is a personal decision whether to tell them or not, it worked for me but it was the hardest thing I ever had to do and i wasnt sure how she would react, ie leave me or not. Fortunately she is supporting me although it is strained at times but I feel so much better for getting it off my chest.

I wish you all the best in the world and keep strong because now you have found this forum, you will start to control it.

Dithering_Dad

Hi lonelytoo,

Sorry to hear about your problems, but you've come to the right place. Everyone in here is so welcoming and helpful that I'm sure after a very short time you'll be feeling a lot better.

It seems that you're well on your way to turning things around with the DMP already in place, but I'm sure that there will be plenty of more great suggestions that'll be posted by the debt experts on here.

HHH_2

Hi LT hope you're feeling a bit better.I have a lot of debt too but feel much better now my dmp has started. I cannot tell my partner for all sorts of reasons, maybe one day I will when Ive paid off a fair bit but that seems years down the line. At the moment Im just so relived to have started paying my debts off rather than add to them. It's very stressful keeping it a serect but for me there is no other option at the moment. I've found this site very useful and the people helpful and non judgemental. I dont get on it very often as cant always get a computer but when I do I usually feel a lot better about my predicament. good luck to you.

joeblack066

Maybe you could post up an SOA, so that the good people on here can see if they can help you cut your living costs, to enable you to clear your debts quicker? Well done for posting. Stay strong.

jandk

Hi,

I just wanted to say you're not alone - I too am in debt and keep it a secret. My DH found a statement a few years ago and we paid off my debts with a remortgage.

Like you, I didn't tell DH we couldn't afford things - to save face I suppose.

So, here I am a few years later and amassed debt all over again

We've got a 4 year old boy and I've decided enough is enough - I'm ebaying like crazy, looking for a new job and car booting everything.

I want to be toally debt free - my snowball say 199 months - 16 years but I'm hoping for sooner than that!

If you want to chat, PM me, we can encourage each other

J xx

ilovegreatdanes

lonelytoo,
lots of peeps on here are in the same boat.i didnt tell my oh but he found out by accident when i redirected my post to mums and the postie told him!!!!thought id done it cos i was leaving him.we got through it and owe £21000 approx.all my debts and done same some years before.am with cccs and will take 26 years to repay.
you can get through this and we will help you, so stay onboard.take each day one at a time.i dont know what i would have done without this site.everything will work out for the best.regards,xx

rayday2

My hubby knows about our debts but because he works full time I feel I have to handle everything. I have to keep him happy so all I do is occasionally stick a letter in front of him to sign if its in his name.

Debt is a very lonely place to be, whether it is a secret or not.

I hope you get support on this board that makes you feel you can go on. This is only my second day and I feel a little less ashamed and a little more determined to beat our debts and never own a credit card again and hopefully more important educate my children that saving is the way to go and lesser brands that do the job can be as good!

Good luck!

verderci

I'm waiting for my husband to come home and I have to tell him that we haven't paid the school fee's and are being chased by the school (again!). We move around a lot and my husbands company pays for 2/3 of the fees, we just need to top it up. We entered a trust deed last Aug and money is just too tight and I still seem to be robbing Peter to pay Paul - AGAIN. I try and be positive and I'm trying to claim back bank charges (which would sort me out), but my husband is very pesimistic and that's what I cant cope with. I could just get on a plane and leave this behind.............. anyone coming???