Not 'doing' Santa

mumps

All families are different and have their own traditions and quite right too. I find some people are being rather rude. I believe in Santa Claus, I was born in the early 50s and he was Santa to me, maybe the French order of nuns who taught me used Santa Claus and we always knew he was Saint Nicholas and so did my children. As soon as they were old enough to question where the presents came from I would explain that we were remembering Saint Nicholas and his presents to children and also remembering the gifts the Wise Men gave to Baby Jesus. It never seemed a big issue to me, my siblings or my children. If other people don't believe in Christmas, as the Christian festival, or in Saint Nicholas and the tradition of gifts for children then that is fine by me but please don't call me a liar.

I was surprised to read people saying visits to Santa's grotto are a modern thing. In the 50s our local department stores always made a big thing of Santa, or Father Christmas, in the toy department. I remember one store had a big parade where he would arrive in various ways, one year in a Land Rover another year in a sleigh being towed by something. Another stores big thing was their mechanical ride. I remember queuing to get into whatever it was that year, a rocket, a sleigh, a submarine. The ride moved and pictured passed by the windows showing appropriate scenes. You got out of the ride on the opposite side and for years I really believed it had moved. You then saw Santa. In the 70s I took my children to the local Co-op where one of my neighbours was Santa. He had an order book and when the children said what they wanted he would look at Mom and say, "Well what do you think?" and mom would say maybe, or yes definitely well no but perhaps ?might be better. When it was agreed he would write the order and sign it and give a copy to the child. When mine were 3 or 4 they loved having this.

My family and the area I grew up in were very multicultural and my children were brought up to celebrate Hanukkah and Eid. That never seemed to confuse them either. They liked the stories just like they accepted some children got their presents on St Nicholas Day and other got them on Christmas Eve. I think children are amazingly adaptable. Can't be said about all adults.

I am not sure what parenting club I belong to. One of mine started nursery school at 3, one started school as a rising five, one started at 8 and one at 9. Just seemed right for them. One got weaned at about 5 months, two at 6 months and one at 3. One had a dummy, three didn't. One slept in my arms for 3 years, two went straight into cots on day one and one was sort of in between. I am unsure but either I will be accepted in all clubs or I fear rejected by them all. All I can say is my four are all adults and all seem happy and well adjusted. I am glad I looked at what they needed and didn't decide on a philosophy and follow it regardless.

My wish for Christmas would be Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all men.

Just wanted to add I have never done the Easter Bunny thing or trick and treating although we did have Halloween Parties as kids but I think our traditions were from Ireland. We have never done much for Bonfire night as my children realised early on that it was celebrating the execution of Catholics and did not want to join in. I think they were brighter than me as that never occurred to me as a child.

mumps

Nicki wrote: »

Perhaps I am slightly coloured by the fact that I still remember the fallout 40 years after it happened when the parents of a neighbouring child decided to tell her Santa hadn't come this year because she was naughty. I was about 3 at the time and the naughty child was a bit older, maybe 6 or 7. I can remember to this day her profound distress, her name, her parents names, etc and we moved house the summer after this happened and I haven't had any contact with this family since, but the trauma that child suffered had such a profound impression on me even at that young age.

That is so awful, I can't imagine a parent thinking so little of a 6 year old. It must have been so painful for that poor child.

notanewuser

mumps wrote: »

I am not sure what parenting club I belong to. One of mine started nursery school at 3, one started school as a rising five, one started at 8 and one at 9. Just seemed right for them. One got weaned at about 5 months, two at 6 months and one at 3. One had a dummy, three didn't. One slept in my arms for 3 years, two went straight into cots on day one and one was sort of in between. I am unsure but either I will be accepted in all clubs or I fear rejected by them all. All I can say is my four are all adults and all seem happy and well adjusted. I am glad I looked at what they needed and didn't decide on a philosophy and follow it regardless.
.

Loved all of your post, but especially this bit. I don't subscribe to any specific parenting group, and love that you did what was right for you and each of your babies rather than make them fit the ideals of others.

Gave me a happy glow reading that.

mumps

notanewuser wrote: »

Loved all of your post, but especially this bit. I don't subscribe to any specific parenting group, and love that you did what was right for you and each of your babies rather than make them fit the ideals of others.

Gave me a happy glow reading that.

Well it gives me a happy glow knowing that I gave someone a happy glow.:T

I think children are amazing and if we watch and listen they can teach us so much.

Just wanted to add that I saw my grandson in his school nativity today. I have lost count of how many nativity plays I have sat through, when I was at school and for my own four children and now my grandchildren. Today's was as magical, funny and moving as all the others. There were pretty angels in white dresses, some very grumpy shepherds and of course the grand Kings in all their finery. Mary was serious and Joseph was as caring as any new dad can be. The two essentials for Christmas are Midnight Mass and a nativity play, if I can do those two then the food, the presents and all the fuss don't really matter.

phill99

Not allowing or encouraging your child to believe in Santa? What perfectly beautiful magic your child will miss out on?

And I can imagine when your daughter is 5 and she goes round telling all her class mates that Santa is a lie, there is going to be a high number of traumatised children, for which their parents won't thank you.

The problem with atheists is that they don't believe in any magic. Why does everything have to be factually based?

peachyprice

phill99 wrote: »

The problem with atheists is that they don't believe in any magic. Why does everything have to be factually based?

Hang on a minute, being an atheist has NOTHING to do with believing in santa and magic just as santa and magic has NOTHING to do with god. There are plenty of theist who don't believe in santa or magic just as there are plenty of atheists who do.

I think you need to check the definition of an atheist before spouting such rubbish.

notanewuser

phill99 wrote: »

Not allowing or encouraging your child to believe in Santa? What perfectly beautiful magic your child will miss out on?

And I can imagine when your daughter is 5 and she goes round telling all her class mates that Santa is a lie, there is going to be a high number of traumatised children, for which their parents won't thank you.

The problem with atheists is that they don't believe in any magic. Why does everything have to be factually based?

Please tell me you posted that without bothering to read the whole thread, because this has been covered several times. It's not about telling children (ours or otherwise) that Santa doesn't exist.

Just as I am not indoctrinating my daughter into any religion, I'm not indoctrinating her into the 'magic' of Santa. If she finds/discovers religion or Santa in the coming years that is absolutely fine because it will be HER CHOICE, not mine.


As it happens her life is full of magic without me or her dad having to lie to her.

alyth

notanewuser wrote: »

Please tell me you posted that without bothering to read the whole thread, because this has been covered several times. It's not about telling children (ours or otherwise) that Santa doesn't exist.

Just as I am not indoctrinating my daughter into any religion, I'm not indoctrinating her into the 'magic' of Santa. If she finds/discovers religion or Santa in the coming years that is absolutely fine because it will be HER CHOICE, not mine.


As it happens her life is full of magic without me or her dad having to lie to her.

I have read through the thread on and off all day, and I have to say I am hugely in admiration of you. I don't celebrate christmas, nor birthdays for that matter, I don't believe in telling children that santa brought the presents, santa does not exist - there's no magic in believing a lie. I don't have children so I have no experience of family life, but I do feel extremely strongly in not perpetuating this myth that santa is this magical figure.

Someone mentioned the magic of santa going around a classroom - I wonder what happens to children of different religions who don't celebrate christmas when "santa" comes round?

Person_one

There's a definite hint of the 'mummy wars' about some of the no-Santa posts, I have to say.

Is being in the majority every now and then really so bad OP? I bet when you were a teenager you were the type that only liked a band until they became popular and then disowned them.

alyth

I think the biggest mistake the OP made was posting in the first place. I like the fact that she is following her beliefs, she's giving her child the choice to choose what she wants to believe in a later life - not succumbing to the "a man in a red suit brings presents that we work damn hard for all year".

As I 've stated before I don't have children so I don't understand this mummy war thing - however I strongly believe in not perpetuating a myth and I've never understood why people should follow the herd, and I admire the OP for not being part of the majority.