Advice for a dfw...with a spendaholic OH please! :(

amagicwandplease

Thankyou MSEers for all of the kind words of advice and support.

As much as its not nice to hear others struggle too it is nice to know im not on my own with the battle!

I agree with the majority re joint bank accounts, however we tried this when I went on DMP but were unable to get one...even with the co-op! Perhaps worth another try a year on though...

I have made some positive steps though and talked him into not using the debit cards but cash instead, as it is too easy to forget what you've spent with the card. Think it may take a while for him to adjust to this though as he does just keep going to the jar and taking money as he wants but im sure it'll sink in eventually....baby steps...like somebody said.....It is like dealing with a child too!

Re other remarks about the drinking/smoking, that was just an example of the 'I'll have what I want regardless of the consequences'. He doesnt spend every night in the pub or anything (which I am well aware it can be much worse...been there too!), more cans at home, but it is every night and if I dont go out of myway to buy in supermarket, he'll think nothing of going to the corner shop and spending twice the price on it rather than go without one night until I go shopping or 'heaven forbid' going to get it cheaply himself.

Its more the attitude that is my problem than the habit, when I will go without lunch if I forget it rather than buy a take-away sandwich - for him to come home having thought nothing of spending a tenner in a service station on himself and then popping to the corner shop for more beer!

I dont want to leave him, just want a way to drill home the problems we have without an argument. Whenever I approach the subject im just 'nagging', but I am starting to realise that its just that he's probably frightened to take notice as it means he wont be able to escape from it anymore....

Oh well, i'll just have to keep trying, and in the first instance hope that the pocket money game will start the ball rolling!

Thanks again all